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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Corned Quotes
Funny Quotes about Corned

Let these funny Corned Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

We are all one whether we dine on corned beef in New York City,
black-eyed peas and cornbread in rural Louisiana,
or roast guinea pig in Peru.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil
and you're a thousand miles from the corn field.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I have no hostility to nature, but a child's love to it.
I expand and live in the warm day like corn and melons.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

We return thanks to our mother,
the earth, which sustains us.
We return thanks to the rivers and streams
which supply us with water.
We return thanks to all herbs, which furnish medicines
for the cure of our diseases.
We return thanks to the corn, and to her sisters,
the beans and squashes, which give us life.
We return thanks to the bushes and trees,
which provide us with fruit.
We return thanks to the wind,
which, moving the air, has banished diseases.
We return thanks to the moon and the stars,
which have given us their light when the sun was gone.
We return thanks to our grandfather He-no,
that he has protected his grandchildren from witches and reptiles,
and has given us his rain.
We return thanks to the sun,
that he has looked upon the earth with a beneficent eye.
Lastly, we return thanks to the Great Spirit,
in whom is embodied all goodness,
and who directs all things for the good of his children.
- Iroquois traditional


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The book of life is filled with incoherent riddles.
Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you.
You have to go to them sometimes.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

We must be ready to learn from one another,
not claiming that we alone possess all truth
and that somehow we have a corner on God.
- Archbishop Desmond Tutu


 

Life's real lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin -
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I hope that you walk around the corner
and you get very surprised.
- Miranda Richardson

Smell the smells, feel the fear,
and smile at the incoherent way
life runs us in circles
while inscribing the real lessons
in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The real lessons from the book of life
are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness,
and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts.
Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things
cannot be acquired by vegetating
in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.
- Mark Twain

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon

The Book of Life is a Book of Riddles,
with its Real Lessons Writ Small in the Margins.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I am mortified to be told that, in the United States of America,
the sale of a book can become a subject of inquiry,
and of criminal inquiry too.
- Thomas Jefferson

Now there is one outstanding important fact regarding spaceship earth,
and that is that no instruction book came with it.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

The most important thing about Spaceship Earth -
an instruction book didn't come with it.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

Life is a Book of Riddles,
with the Real Lessons Writ Small in its Margins.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.
- Thomas Jefferson

The only way to store information is by agreement.
The belief system is like a Book of Law that rules our mind.
Our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive.
Humans punish themselves endlessly
for not being what they believe they should be.
We have the need to be accepted and to be loved by others,
but we cannot accept and love ourselves.
- don Miguel Ruiz

What a book a devil's chaplain might write
on the clumsy, wasteful, blundering, low,
and horribly cruel work of nature!
- Charles Darwin

The Lessons of the Book of Life are
Writ Small in its Margins.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

O Day of days when we can read!
The reader and the book, either without the other is naught.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Here with a Loaf of Bread beneath the Bough,
A Flask of Wine, a Book of Verse - and Thou
Beside me singing in the Wilderness -
And Wilderness is Paradise enow.
- Omar Khayyam

A truly good book teaches me better than to read it.
I must soon lay it down, and commence living on its hint.
What I began by reading, I must finish by acting.
- Henry David Thoreau

A closed mind is like a closed book;
just a block of wood.
- Chinese proverb

If I read a book that impresses me,
I have to take myself firmly in hand
before I mix with other people;
otherwise they would think my mind rather queer.
- Anne Frank

Don't join the book burners.
Do not think you are going to conceal thoughts
by concealing evidence that they ever existed.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Not everyone is always going to like what you do.
Your job application, your book proposal,
your offer of marriage is going to
get rejected sometimes - perhaps often.
Your boss, your spouse, even the person
behind you in the supermarket checkout line
is occasionally going to think that you are doing it all wrong.
Don't take it personally.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The best of a book is not the thought which it contains,
but the thought which it suggests;
just as the charm of music dwells not in the tones
but in the echoes of our hearts.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes

When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;
How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim Soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;
And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.
- William Butler Yeats

There is not one big cosmic meaning for all,
there is only the meaning we each give to our life,
an individual meaning, an individual plot,
like an individual novel, a book for each person.
- Anais Nin

The things of this world exist;
they are; you can't refuse them.
- Lao Tzu's Tao Te Ching - Book One #2 - version by Ursula K. Le Guin

I've always had a love for poetry,
and when I got signed to a record label I thought,
"How odd that I'm doing a record before a book of poetry."
- Jewel

The things I want to know are in books;
my best friend is the man who'll get me a book I ain't read.
- Abraham Lincoln

I have never written a book that didn't teach me
far more than it taught any reader.
- Isaac Asimov

The important thing is this: to be able, at any moment,
to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.
- Charles Du Bos (1882-1939), from his book Approximations (1922)
(not Charles DuBois or Maharishi Mahesh Yogi)

Every burned book enlightens the world.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Every book is a quotation;
and every house is a quotation out of all forests,
and mines, and stone quarries;
and every man is a quotation from all his ancestors.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The final lesson a writer learns is that
everything can nourish the writer.
The dictionary, a new word, a voyage, an encounter,
a talk on the street, a book, a phrase learned.
- Anais Nin

My diary is a mirror telling the story of a dreamer who,
a long long time ago went through life the way one reads a book.
- Anais Nin

Literature is my Utopia. Here I am not disenfranchised.
No barrier of the senses shuts me out from
the sweet, gracious discourses of my book friends.
They talk to me without embarrassment or awkwardness.
- Helen Keller

Books constitute capital.
A library book lasts as long as a house, for hundreds of years.
It is not, then, an article of mere consumption
but fairly of capital, and often in the case of professional men,
setting out in life, it is their only capital.
- Thomas Jefferson

Faith:
When you walk to the edge of all the light you have
and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown,
you must believe that one of two things will happen:
...
There will be something solid for you to stand upon,
or, you will be taught how to fly
- Patrick Overton - from his book of poems: The Leaning Tree, 1975
[Widely mis-attributed to Barbara J. Winter, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, and others]

Greetings, cosmic children of the universe.
Welcome to my serenity circle.
Please leave all bad vibes outside the healing vortex.
- the movie Shrek the Third (2007)

Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot

Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Make a conscious choice to live
a serene and stress-free life.
Stress is always waiting just outside your door
like a vicious wild-dog.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Stress is always waiting
just outside your door
like a vicious wild-dog.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy
is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet,
alone with the heavens, nature and God.
Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.
- Anne Frank

America will never be destroyed from the outside.
If we falter and lose our freedoms,
it will be because we destroyed ourselves.
- Abraham Lincoln

A man who as a physical being
is always turned toward the outside,
thinking that his happiness lies outside him,
finally turns inward and
discovers that the source is within him.
- Soren Kierkegaard

When an inner situation is not made conscious,
it appears outside as fate.
- Carl Jung

Each one has to find his peace from within.
And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Seek not outside yourself.
- A Course in Miracles

All that glisters is not gold;
Often have you heard that told.
Many a man his life hath sold
but my outside to behold.
Gilded tombs do worms enfold.
- William Shakespeare

Your visions will become clear only
when you can look into your own heart.
Who looks outside, dreams;
who looks inside, awakes.
- Carl Jung

Who looks outside, dreams;
who looks inside, awakes.
- Carl Jung

Rather than worrying about the continuous stream of potential threats,
let us give thanks for our blessing of living in the eye-of-the-storm -
our protected refuge from the terrors
of fearsome dangers just outside our lives.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Many people know so little about what
is beyond their short range of experience.
They look within themselves - and find nothing!
Therefore they conclude that there
is nothing outside themselves either.
- Helen Keller

And finally I twist my heart round again,
so that the bad is on the outside
and the good is on the inside,
and keep on trying to find a way of becoming
what I would so like to be, and could be,
if there weren't any other people living in the world.
- Anne Frank

Beyond mind, there is an awareness that is intrinsic,
that is not given to you by the outside, and is not an idea -
and there is no experiment up to now
that has found any center in the brain
which corresponds to awareness.
The whole work of meditation is
to make you aware of all that is "mind"
and disidentify yourself from it.
That very separation is the
greatest revolution that can happen to man.
Now you can do and act on only that
which makes you more joyous, fulfills you,
gives you contentment, makes your life a work of art, a beauty.
But this is possible only if the master in you is awake.
- Osho

I come from Ireland and I've seen the damage of religious warfare.
I am a believer. I don't wear the badge on the outside
but it is on the inside.
- Bono

Most of us believe that we have
been betrayed by someone outside of us -
in other words someone has done something to hurt us,
been dishonest or broken a promise made:
some trust in some concept was broken.
Indeed someone may have taken an action
that took only their needs into consideration,
they may have not followed through on a promise made,
and they may have not told you the truth.
But their actions have nothing to do with you
and have everything to do with them.
That's why no one can do anything TO you.
They can take actions that involve you that you may not like -
according to your point of view.
But you are not a victim, no way, no how.
- Sheri Rosenthal

Expressing gratitude seems like a cosmic invitation
for all kinds of thankfulness and appreciation to pour in.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Buddhism has the characteristics of what would be expected
in a cosmic religion for the future:
It transcends a personal God, avoids dogmas and theology;
it covers both the natural and the spiritual,
and it is based on a religious sense
aspiring from the experience of all things,
natural and spiritual, as a meaningful unity.
- Albert Einstein

Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives.
I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends
and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that.
That's what's insane about it.
- John Lennon

I hear many people talk about their longing for a balanced life.
What I think they are really expressing
is a desire for a life with less pressure.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity
opinions which differ from
the prejudices of their social environment.
Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions.
- Albert Einstein


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.