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Let these funny Controlled Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Taste cannot be controlled by law.
- Thomas Jefferson
No one is in control of your happiness but you;
therefore, you have the power to change anything
about yourself or your life that you want to change.
- Barbara De Angelis
If we want to direct our lives,
we must take control of our consistent actions.
It's not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives,
but what we do consistently.
- Anthony Robbins
I do not want to foresee the future.
I am concerned with taking care of the present.
God has given me no control over the moment following.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
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The awareness that health is dependent
upon habits that we control
makes us the first generation in history
that to a large extent determines its own destiny.
- Jimmy Carter
Science gives man knowledge, which is power;
religion gives man wisdom, which is control.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
I cannot trust a man to control others
who cannot control himself.
- Robert E. Lee
The most difficult thing is the decision to act,
the rest is merely tenacity.
The fears are paper tigers.
You can do anything you decide to do.
You can act to change and control your life;
and the procedure, the process is its own reward.
- Amelia Earhart
If we are to go forward, we must go back
and rediscover those precious values -
that all reality hinges on moral foundations
and that all reality has spiritual control.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure.
I make mistakes, I am out of control
and at times hard to handle.
But if you can't handle me at my worst,
then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
- Marilyn Monroe
Many people allow their need
for other people's approval to control their lives.
They spend their lives worrying about what others think of them.
- Rick Warren
Whether we allow external events to
shape our lives at a core level
is very much within our own control.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The highest possible stage in moral culture
is when we recognize that we ought to control our thoughts.
- Charles Darwin
Control thy passions lest they take vengeance upon thee.
- Epictetus
We can't control the impressions others form about us,
and the effort to do so only debases our character.
- Epictetus
Science investigates religion interprets.
Science gives man knowledge which is power
Religion gives man wisdom which is control.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Self-disciplined begins with the mastery of your thoughts.
If you don't control what you think,
you can't control what you do.
Simply, self-discipline enables you
to think first and act afterward.
- Napoleon Hill
While it is natural to feel some degree of
need for the approval of others, be careful.
If you find yourself unwilling to
take actions that others disapprove of,
you have lost control of your own life
and have given your destiny to others.
An excessive need-for-approval
is a sign of low self-esteem,
and in severe cases, a condition termed co-dependency.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In dwelling, live close to the ground.
In thinking, keep to the simple.
In conflict, be fair and generous.
In governing, don't try to control.
In work, do what you enjoy.
In family life, be completely present.
- Lao Tzu
I know of no safe depository of the ultimate powers
of the society but the people themselves;
and if we think them not enlightened enough to exercise
their control with a wholesome discretion,
the remedy is not to take it from them but to inform their discretion.
- Thomas Jefferson
To enjoy good health,
to bring true happiness to one's family,
to bring peace to all, one must first
discipline and control one's own mind.
If a man can control his mind
he can find the way to Enlightenment,
and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.
- The Buddha
In all circumstances I acknowledge this,
IN ALL THINGS AND ALL WAYS, I HAVE CHOICE.
My choice resides in my perspective.
While I certainly do not control climate and markets
and roadways and others, I do control myself
and my response to all those circumstances. I do indeed.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
If you have an emotional reaction in the presence of someone,
your heart is telling you that you have
not resolved your issues with them.
In other words, you have not truly forgiven that person.
All of this begs the question, how do we forgive?
First, cease lying to yourself and stop telling yourself stories
about why you behave the way you do.
Stop blaming your behavior on other people
and take responsibility for your emotional reactions.
If you could forgive all the people in your life
who have hurt or wounded you
it would be possible to be in control of your behavior
instead of being in reaction to other people all of the time.
Imagine living life without experiencing
a constant emotional roller-coaster of pain, anger, and jealousy!
That would be bliss!
- Sheri Rosenthal
For those men who, sooner or later, are lucky enough
to break away from the pack, the most intoxicating moment
comes when they cease being bodies in other men's command
and find that they control their own time,
when they learn their own voice and authority.
- Theodore H. White
Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make,
both consciously and unconsciously. If you can control
the process of choosing, you can take control
of all aspects of your life. You can find the freedom
that comes from being in charge of yourself.
- Robert Foster Bennett
AN INSPIRED LIFE: I HAVE A CHOICE
My key to living an inspired life involves
Embracing my history,
Understanding the function of expectations
and gently learning to have none;
Recognizing the power of attentive and conscious choices.
In all circumstances I acknowledge this,
IN ALL THINGS AND ALL WAYS, I HAVE CHOICE.
My choice resides in my perspective.
While I certainly do not control climate
and markets and roadways and others,
I do control myself and my response
to all those circumstances. I do indeed.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
You will become as small as your controlling desire;
as great as your dominant aspiration.
- James Allen
If you want to be happy,
put your effort into controlling the sail, not the wind.
- Anonymous
Freedom is not procured by a full
enjoyment of what is desired,
but by controlling the desire.
- Epictetus
The one who loves the least, controls the relationship.
- Robert Anthony
He who controls others may be powerful,
but he who has mastered himself is mightier still.
- Lao Tzu
Who controls the past controls the future.
Who controls the present controls the past.
- George Orwell
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll
Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein
She drove me to drink.
That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
- the movie Never Give a Sucker an Even Break
A fanatic is one who can't change his mind
and won't change the subject.
- Winston Churchill
Life is just one damned thing after another.
- Elbert Hubbard (Philistine - A Periodical of Protest, 1896)
The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.
- Anonymous
Tombs are the clothes of the dead.
A grave is a plain suit;
while an expensive monument is one with embroidery.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus
I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea.
- Walter Bagehot
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.