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Let these funny Consumes Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
The cleansing fire of Spirit
consumes the troubles of this world.
Feed your concerns to the fire.
Breathe deeply and rejoice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is no more fatal blunderer than he who consumes
the greater part of his life getting his living.
- Henry David Thoreau
No one has a right to consume happiness without producing it.
- Helen Keller
Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed.
Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute
with love, grace, and gratitude.
- Denis Waitley
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A sloth lives a pretty good life, s-l-o-w-l-y.
Maybe we have something to learn from him.
Some days, being sloth-like may be just what you need
to avoid being consumed by urgency.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Every man is a consumer, and ought to be a producer.
He is by constitution expensive, and needs to be rich.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer
Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus
A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin
I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin
The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken
Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln
Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)
When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln
The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot
If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
It appears to be a law that you cannot have
a deep sympathy with both man and nature.
- Henry David Thoreau
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch
God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I
It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates
We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.