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Funny Congratulate Quotes
Funny Quotes about Congratulate

Let these funny Congratulate Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I congratulate myself warmly for each accomplishment,
then ask, "What's next?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Affirmation:
I congratulate myself warmly for each accomplishment,
then ask, "What's next?"
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II


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For my part, I consider that it will be found much better
by all parties to leave the past to history,
especially as I propose to write that history myself.
- Winston Churchill

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

Suppose you were an idiot,
and suppose you were a member of Congress;
but I repeat myself.
- Mark Twain


 

The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin

I make it a policy to try never to
make a complete idiot of myself twice in the same way.
After all, there's always all kinds of new ways
to make a complete idiot of myself.
Why repeat the old ones?
- Margot Dalton

I cannot persuade myself that a
beneficent and omnipotent God
would have designedly created parasitic wasps
with the express intention of their feeding
within the living bodies of caterpillars.
- Charles Darwin

Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself,
than be crowded on a velvet cushion.
- Henry David Thoreau

I have found out that though the ways in which
I can make myself useful are few,
yet the work open to me is endless.
- Helen Keller

"Worry" is a word that I don't allow myself to use.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I look only to the good qualities of men.
Not being faultless myself,
I won't presume to probe into the faults of others.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I do not hold fear about what is happening in the world.
I am responsible for how I conduct myself in the events of my days,
and endeavor to not dwell in fear about anything.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Whenever I look at a human face,
I say to myself: "That Is The Face Of God."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I'm having a bad day. I am not size six.
My legs are not skinny as sticks,
and dammit, someone's got to pay.
I'm afraid that I can't satisfy myself
and that my happiness depends on someone else.
I feel weak, so you're gonna take the fall.
You're so shallow.
- Jewel

I love myself as I truly am - and live courageously.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Affirmation:
I forgive everyone, especially myself,
for all actions and all inactions throughout my entire life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Release Myself From All Guilt.
I forgive myself for judging me guilty.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Release Myself From All Guilt.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I desire to love myself as I truly am -
and to live courageously.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If I read a book that impresses me,
I have to take myself firmly in hand
before I mix with other people;
otherwise they would think my mind rather queer.
- Anne Frank

When I'm trusting and being myself...
everything in my life reflects this
by falling into place easily, often miraculously.
- Shakti Gawain

I Forgive Myself and All Others with Compassion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I love myself as I truly am.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

NO ONE has been granted the authority to tell me
how my life should be lived.
I answer only to myself and to Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Whenever I look in the mirror,
I say to myself: "That Is The Face Of God."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I open myself for the word of Spirit to flow through me.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I celebrate myself, and sing myself.
- Walt Whitman

I have unbounded compassion for myself
at all times and under all circumstances.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Shall I not have intelligence with the earth?
Am I not partly leaves and vegetable mould myself.
- Henry David Thoreau

Today is my day to see in myself the face of god.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In all my ways of seeing - may I use new glasses,
a telescope and a microscope.
And may I always allow myself to see a circumstance
through the tender hearts of my friends.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I lay aside the battles within my own mind,
and grant myself peace.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I do myself a greater injury in lying
than I do him of whom I tell a lie.
- Michel de Montaigne

Today is my day to see myself as the face of god:
my mind sparks, and my soul sparkles;
my peace is counterpoint to the clamor of life;
I am a magnificent gift to the world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I am the lord of myself, accountable to none.
- Benjamin Franklin

By not caring too much about what people think,
I'm able to think for myself
and propagate ideas which are very often unpopular.
And I succeed.
- Albert Ellis

I do not concern myself with gods and spirits
either good or evil, nor do I serve any.
- Lao Tzu

When I Honor myself,
I am confident of my being,
and I am gentle with myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When I examine myself and my methods of thought,
I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy
has meant more to me than
any talent for absorbing positive knowledge.
- Albert Einstein

I am never going to have anything more to do
with politics or politicians.
When this war is over I shall confine myself entirely
to writing and painting.
- Winston Churchill

I love, without condition, myself,
all those around me,
and all those in my thoughts,
this day and evermore. Amen
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I will gather myself around my faith,
for light does the darkness most fear.
- Jewel

I'm becoming more and more myself with time.
I guess that's what grace is.
The refinement of your soul through time.
- Jewel

When I am getting ready to reason with a man,
I spend one-third of my time thinking about myself
and what I am going to say
and two-thirds about him and what he is going to say.
- Abraham Lincoln

I grant myself the Honor of being ME.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I unconditionally forgive myself for everything
that I have ever done, said, or thought
that has caused me harm or suffering.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

God has entrusted me with myself.
- Epictetus

If I am not for myself,
who will be for me?
Yet if I am for myself alone,
of what good am I?
- Hillel

I forgive myself for all my angers, resentments, and jealousies.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I forgive everyone, especially myself,
for all actions and all inactions throughout my entire life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I forgive myself completely for having created stories of suffering.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If I seem to boast more than is becoming,
my excuse is that I brag
for humanity rather than for myself.
- Henry David Thoreau

I do not take a single newspaper, nor read one a month,
and I feel myself infinitely the happier for it.
- Thomas Jefferson

I forgive everyone - especially myself.
I forgive for my own sake,
that I may transmute my resentments into Unconditional Love.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I am at Peace with myself,
my family, my community, and the world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today, I will be gentle with myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Because I loved myself, I was loved.
- Erica Jong

Where there is unconditional love,
there is no room for unhappiness.
Whenever I look in the mirror today,
I will say to myself: "That Is The Face Of God."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The burden of the self is lightened when I laugh at myself.
- Rabindranath Tagore

I have three precious things which I hold fast and prize.
The first is gentleness;
the second is frugality;
the third is humility, which keeps me from putting myself before others.
Be gentle and you can be bold;
be frugal and you can be generous;
avoid putting yourself before others
and you can become a leader among men.
- Lao Tzu

I gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience
in which I must stop and look fear in the face.
I say to myself, I've lived through this
and can take the next thing that comes along.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Whenever I look at a human face today,
I will say to myself: "That Is The Face Of God."
Whenever I look in the mirror today,
I will say to myself: "That Is The Face Of God."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I am determined to be cheerful and happy
in whatever situation I may find myself.
For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness
is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.
- Martha Washington

I forgive everyone for every "wrong"
that I believe they have ever inflicted upon me.
I forgive them for my own sake,
that I may release the venom -
the anger and resentment within myself -
and regain my joy and serenity.
I have compassion for everyone who has ever
been a player upon the stage of my life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In all circumstances I acknowledge this,
IN ALL THINGS AND ALL WAYS, I HAVE CHOICE.
My choice resides in my perspective.
While I certainly do not control climate and markets
and roadways and others, I do control myself
and my response to all those circumstances. I do indeed.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I unconditionally forgive everyone for all hurt
that I have ever experienced in the presence of their actions.
I unconditionally forgive myself for everything that I have ever done,
said, or thought that has caused me harm or suffering.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I rest in the light of forgiveness.
I forgive myself and others for that
which is done (and better left undone)
and also that which is not done (and better if done).
I give myself permission to enjoy this moment without guilt.
I freely release all uncertainty, regret, and fear.
- Mary Anne Radmacher


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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