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Let these funny Conclusion Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
A discussion of philosophy is like a cat chasing its tail -
it may be an amusing diversion but
it has no chance for a satisfying conclusion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I think and think for months and years.
Ninety-nine times, the conclusion is false.
The hundredth time I am right.
- Albert Einstein
When I examine myself and my methods of thought,
I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy
has meant more to me than
any talent for absorbing positive knowledge.
- Albert Einstein
People do not like to think.
If one thinks, one must reach conclusions.
Conclusions are not always pleasant.
- Helen Keller
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I am turned into a sort of machine for observing facts
and grinding out conclusions.
- Charles Darwin
Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
The Lord prefers common-looking people.
That is why he makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
- Mark Twain
We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek
I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket
Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
- Anonymous
Might I perhaps win my wings?
I've been waiting for over 200 years now, sir,
and people ARE beginning to talk.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)
Be smarter than other people, just don't tell them so.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
"But I don't want to go among mad people," said Alice.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here."
- Lewis Carroll
People who are wrapped up in themselves make small packages.
- Benjamin Franklin
An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it.
- Don Marquis
Oh, you weak, beautiful people
who give up with such grace.
What you need is someone to take hold of you -
gently, with love, and hand your life back to you.
- Tennessee Williams
Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin
There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi
People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov
He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha
Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money
they don't have for something they don't need.
- Will Rogers
I only wish that ordinary people
had an unlimited capacity for doing harm;
then they might have an unlimited power for doing good.
- Socrates
Join the army. Visit strange and exotic places.
Meet fascinating people. And kill them.
- Anonymous
Common looking people are the best in the world:
that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
The most important service rendered
by the press and the magazines
is that of educating people
to approach printed matter with distrust.
- Samuel Butler
People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw
I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
- Charles M. Schulz
The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain
Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield
Unless they share our opinions,
we seldom find people sensible.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein
All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain
Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
Most of what we call management consists of
making it difficult for people to get their work done.
- Peter F. Drucker
Religion is regarded by the common people as true,
by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
History is the version of past events
that people have decided to agree upon.
- Napoleon Bonaparte
I was wise enough to never grow up
while fooling most people into believing I had.
- Margaret Mead
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright
A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Gods always behave like the people who make them.
- Zora Neale Hurston
Interesting.
You Earth people glorify organized violence for 40 centuries,
but you imprison those who employ it privately.
- the character Spock in the television series Star Trek
Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers
Thinking is what most people resort to after all else fails.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Most people's historical perspective
begins with the day of their birth.
- Rush Limbaugh
Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
In religion and politics, people's belief's and convictions
are in almost every case gotten at second hand,
and without examination
- Mark Twain
To go against the dominant thinking of your friends,
of most of the people you see every day,
is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White
People say conversation is a lost art;
how often I have wished it were.
- Edward R. Murrow
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie
There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie
Do something wonderful, people may imitate it.
- Albert Schweitzer
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.