Facebook share Tweet This Email this
Let these funny Commissioner Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell [attributed]
(Commissioner, US Patent Office, in 1899)
I can resist everything except temptation.
- Oscar Wilde
When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
Tip the world over on its side and
everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?
In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
- Woody Allen
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything
save our modes of thinking
and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.
- Albert Einstein
People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
- Woody Allen
Attitude is everything.
- Charles Swindoll
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
- Phyllis Diller
I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.
- Anonymous
I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
The more he became truly wise,
the more he distrusted everything he knew.
- Voltaire
The simple life is everything Vogue isn't.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Everything is a miracle,
not just the beautiful and lovely things.
- Anonymous
There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein
When I see Spirit in everything, Peace is at hand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love.
The real miracle is the love that inspires them.
In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
- A Course in Miracles
I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe
Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.
- Lao Tzu
Everything has beauty,
but not everyone sees it.
- Confucius
Everything we believe is a matter of evolution and history.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl
Everything that irritates us about others
can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
- Carl Jung
Infinite striving to be the best is man's duty;
it is its own reward.
Everything else is in God's hands.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
There is nothing more depressing,
than having everything,
and still feeling sad.
- Janet Jackson
Better learn balance. Balance is key.
Balance good, karate good. Everything good.
Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid
For everything I observe or experience,
I create a story - not sometimes, but always.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving -
I have gratitude for EVERYTHING
that has ever occurred to bring me to this moment.
I give thanks for the joys and the sufferings,
the moments of peace and the flashes of anger,
the compassion and the indifference,
the roar of my courage and the cold sweat of my fear.
I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Everything we say, do, think, and feel
is a product of our personal history
and the collective history of humankind.
Our name for these histories is "prejudice."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Imagination decides everything.
- Blaise Pascal
Our opportunity is to Soar our Spirit.
To see Light and Joy in everything.
To spread our wings and fly boldly.
To give thanks for rainbows and butterflies -
our symbols of renewal and rebirth.
To offer daily Thanksgiving - for ourselves, our family,
our friends, our community, for the whole world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is easy enough to be pleasant
When life flows by like a song,
But the man worth while is the one who will smile
When everything goes dead wrong.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
I Am One With Spirit and All Creation -
I give thanks for the unity of all creation
and for everything that has brought me to this moment.
I release my entire being to the gentle nurture of Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Presence requires an internal alertness
to the all and everything surrounding us.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Feeling overwhelmed by apparent demands on our time
is like going to a restaurant,
ordering everything on the menu,
and complaining about indigestion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Maybe I could have loved you better.
Maybe you should have loved me more.
Maybe our hearts were just next in line.
Maybe everything breaks sometime.
- Jewel
Everything you say and do,
is a reflection of the inner you.
- Anonymous
Christmas waves a magic wand over this world,
and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.
- Norman Vincent Peale
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
So divinely is the world organized that every one of us,
in our place and time, is in balance with everything else.
- Adam Acone
In three words, I can sum up everything
I've learned about life - it goes on.
- Robert Frost
Everything I need will be manifested.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Positive thinking will let you do everything
better than negative thinking will.
- Zig Ziglar
Everything that we see is a shadow
cast by that which we do not see.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
I am only one, but still I am one.
I cannot do everything, but still I can do something;
And because I cannot do everything
I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.
- Helen Keller
Not everything that casts a long shadow is to be feared.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Tradition is like a second-hand store.
It is best to sort carefully
between the treasures and the trash.
See everything with new eyes.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When all you know is bombs,
everything looks like a target.
Give peace and diplomacy a chance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Inside most people there's a feeling of being separate,
separated from everything ... And they're not.
They're part of absolutely everyone, and everything.
- the movie Powder
Everything is okay in the end.
If it's not okay, then it's not the end.
- Anonymous
Everything in Nature contains all the powers of Nature.
Everything is made of one hidden stuff.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I always like to know everything about my new friends,
and nothing about my old ones.
- Oscar Wilde
All things appear and disappear
because of the concurrence of causes and conditions.
Nothing ever exists entirely alone;
everything is in relation to everything else.
- The Buddha
Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.
- Lewis Carroll
As long as a man stands in his own way,
everything seems to be in his way.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once.
- Albert Einstein
SPIRIT is the name we give to
the entirety of everything we can perceive
plus the entirety of everything
that is beyond our perception.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Everything has rhythm. everything dances.
- Maya Angelou
Sometimes, if you stand on the bottom rail of a bridge
and lean over to watch the river slipping slowly away beneath you,
you will suddenly know everything there is to be known.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
You can't be everything to everyone.
- Bill Cosby
There is time for everything when Spirit is my guide.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit.
Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever,
even if your whole world seems upset.
- Saint Francis de Sales
Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact.
Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.
- Marcus Aurelius
A true friend sees the good in everything,
and brings out the best in the worst of things.
- Sasha Azevedo
Thank you for visiting: Funny Commissioner Quotes - Funny Quotes about Commissioner.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.