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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Coach Quotes
Funny Quotes about Coach

Let these funny Coach Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A coach is someone who can give correction
without causing resentment.
- John Wooden

Self-respect is often mistaken for arrogance
when in reality it is the opposite.
When we can recognize all our good qualities
as well as or faults with neutrality,
we can start to appreciate ourselves
as we would a dear friend
and experience the comfortable inner glow of respect.
To embrace the journey towards our full potential
we need to become our own loving teacher and coach.
Spurring ourselves on to become better human beings,
we develop true regard for ourselves,
and our life will become sacred.
- Osho

Most people think that anger is an instinctive response,
and that some people were just born with the temperament
to get angrier faster than others.
That statement is only half right.
Anger is an instinctive response.
We respond to an affront with anger essentially instantaneously -
much too quickly for conscious thought to be called upon.
But the instinct of the anger response
can be trained through conscious repetition,
visualization, and coaching.
Visualization is seeing the event
we desire to master in our mind's eye.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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During his training, a baseball player strives
to make each swing better than the last.
The repetition of a faulty swing would be worse than useless.
It would ingrain bad habits.
The same is true of emotional responses.
If we allow ourselves to continue to have the same angry responses,
we just entrench our anger habit.
But if we strive - through consciousness, visualization, and coaching -
to moderate our anger response,
over time, we can train ourselves to respond
to events as we choose - without anger.
You can't magically be free from anger tomorrow,
but you can put yourself on your own training program
that will reduce the frequency and intensity
of your anger response day by day, year by year.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde


 

Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon

The Lord prefers common-looking people.
That is why he makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr

When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket

Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde

The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
- Mark Twain

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain

In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
- Charles M. Schulz

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

Do something wonderful, people may imitate it.
- Albert Schweitzer

If you're going to tell people the truth,
be funny or they'll kill you.
- Billy Wilder

People say conversation is a lost art;
how often I have wished it were.
- Edward R. Murrow

To go against the dominant thinking of your friends,
of most of the people you see every day,
is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White

Might I perhaps win my wings?
I've been waiting for over 200 years now, sir,
and people ARE beginning to talk.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

Most of what we call management consists of
making it difficult for people to get their work done.
- Peter F. Drucker

He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha

Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield

History is the version of past events
that people have decided to agree upon.
- Napoleon Bonaparte

Most people's historical perspective
begins with the day of their birth.
- Rush Limbaugh

The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain

Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher

I was wise enough to never grow up
while fooling most people into believing I had.
- Margaret Mead

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

In religion and politics, people's belief's and convictions
are in almost every case gotten at second hand,
and without examination
- Mark Twain

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein

When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie

The whole problem with the world is that
fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves,
but wiser people so full of doubts.
- Bertrand Russell

A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw

Thinking is what most people resort to after all else fails.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Common looking people are the best in the world:
that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi

Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous

Oh, you weak, beautiful people
who give up with such grace.
What you need is someone to take hold of you -
gently, with love, and hand your life back to you.
- Tennessee Williams

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain

There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie

People who are wrapped up in themselves make small packages.
- Benjamin Franklin

You can safely assume that you've
created God in your own image
when it turns out that God hates
all the same people you do.
- Anne Lamott

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin

People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright

Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung

People who want to share their religious views with you
almost never want you to share yours with them.
- Dave Barry

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money
they don't have for something they don't need.
- Will Rogers

Unless they share our opinions,
we seldom find people sensible.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Interesting.
You Earth people glorify organized violence for 40 centuries,
but you imprison those who employ it privately.
- the character Spock in the television series Star Trek

Be smarter than other people, just don't tell them so.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

The most important service rendered
by the press and the magazines
is that of educating people
to approach printed matter with distrust.
- Samuel Butler

The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett

Gods always behave like the people who make them.
- Zora Neale Hurston

Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people
by the people for the people.
- Oscar Wilde


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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