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Funny Clocks Quotes
Funny Quotes about Clocks

Let these funny Clocks Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Clocks slay time...
time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels;
only when the clock stops does time come to life.
- William Faulkner

Our strategy is one of preventing war by making it
self-evident to our enemies that they're going to get
their clocks cleaned if they start one.
- John W. Vessey, Jr.

I think that in the future, clocks won't say three o'clock anymore.
They'll just get right to the point and rename three o'clock 'Pepsi.'
- Doug Coupland

Calendars and clocks exist to measure time,
but that signifies little because we all know that
an hour can seem as eternity or pass in a flash,
according to how we spend it.
- Michael Ende


 

O, for an engine, to keep back all clocks,
or make the sun forget his motion!
- Ben Jonson

At least the Pilgrim Fathers used to shoot Indians:
the Pilgrim Children merely punch time clocks.
- e. e. cummings

Our brains are seventy-year clocks.
The Angel of Life winds them up once for all,
then closes the case, and gives the key into the hand
of the Angel of the Resurrection.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes


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Having designed and built several clocks during my
career it suddenly occurred to me that when you look
at the face of a clock both hands have the same center.
- Kit Williams

Clocks will go as they are set, but man,
irregular man, is never constant, never certain.
- Thomas Otway

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes,
but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.
- Garry Shandling

Praying is important when you wake up
at two o'clock in the morning
feeling sick from eating something dumb the day before.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

If we were meant to be happy,
why did God create war, hunger, and the 11 o'clock news?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning
and watches the Discovery Channel.
I don't know why there's this big rush to do this.
- Jeff Foxworthy

When you think you're out of time,
smile, and turn back the clock.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Think what a better world it would be if we all,
the whole world, had cookies and milk about three o'clock
every afternoon and then lay down on our blankets for a nap.
- Barbara Jordan

I must govern the clock, not be governed by it.
- Golda Meir

The clock talked loud.
I threw it away, it scared me what it talked.
- Tillie Olsen

Work is a necessity for man.
Man invented the alarm clock.
- Pablo Picasso

I've got all the money I'll ever need,
if I die by four o'clock.
- Henny Youngman

In Switzerland they had brotherly love,
five hundred years of democracy and peace,
and what did they produce? The cuckoo clock!
- Graham Greene

I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock.
If I'm late start without me.
- Tallulah Bankhead

I wanted to play the part that Mary Kay played,
the lawyer who wanted to have baby and felt her clock ticking,
because it was something I could relate to.
- JoBeth Williams

Making a book is a craft, like making a clock;
it needs more than native wit to be an author.
- Jean de la Bruyere

A minister has to be able to read a clock.
At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast
and get the peas out of the freezer.
- Garrison Keillor

I'll just tell you the way it is.
You ask me what time it is and I'm gonna tell you how to build a clock.
- Dick Dale

They took away time, and they gave us the clock.
- Abdullah Ibrahim

Rushing the ball is all about ball control.
If you run the ball, you control the clock.
If you control the clock, you usually control the game.
- Tiki Barber

I have a master plan as an artist.
I've always said I'm not going to be punching nobody's clock.
I will work as an artist to survive in this world.
- Erykah Badu

I literally have meetings at eight o'clock in the morning,
and I finish at nine o'clock at night.
It sounds pathetic, but I don't even have time to go shopping.
- Stella McCartney

And at five o'clock in the morning we left to drive to Old Tucson,
and I sat with my mouth open in the van.
I was stunned by the beauty of that country.
- Erika Slezak

I know I can get to the stage where I'm drinking a lot.
I tend to be rotten and groggy all day and hanging
out for the next drink and five o'clock,
ping!
I have to just stop.
- Trisha Goddard

Trying to determine what is going on in the world by
reading newspapers is like trying to tell the time
by watching the second hand of a clock.
- Ben Hecht

The clock never stops, never stops, never waits.
We're growing old.
It's getting late.
- Ben Folds

Quiet minds cannot be perplexed or frightened but go
on in fortune or misfortune at their own private pace,
like a clock during a thunderstorm.
- Robert Louis Stevenson

I like to say I'm more conservative than Goldwater.
He just wanted to turn the clock back to when there was no income tax.
- Pete Seeger

I wrote about people who liked fake fireplaces in their parlor,
who thought a brass horse with a clock embedded in its flank was wonderful.
- Betty Smith

When I'm trying to go to sleep and there are little noises,
like a clock ticking or a fan squeaking,
it drives me completely insane.
- James Lafferty

In baseball, you can't kill the clock.
You've got to give the other man his chance.
That's why this is the greatest game.
- Earl Weaver

I think a lot of the problem is that at 8 o'clock there's nothing on for kids.
- Melissa Joan Hart

The soldiers' last meal is generally served out about
five o'clock in the afternoon,
sometimes earlier; and a stretch of fourteen hours
intervenes between then and breakfast.
- Patrick MacGill

We do not believe voters gave President Bush a mandate
to turn back the clock decades on so many of our legal protections.
- Ralph Neas

But usually I'll wake up and start writing about nine o'clock.
I'll probably write for about three hours,
and I'll do that over the next month and a half.
- Stanley Tucci

The formation of glass from the melting is like starting a clock.
It resets the time for us to determine billions of years later.
- Robert Duncan

Any film I see at two o'clock in afternoon with my
mother seems to cast a strange spell that means we both come out sobbing.
- Jane Birkin

If you run the ball, you control the clock.
If you control the clock, you usually control the game.
- Tiki Barber

When I was a junior, boys were allowed to come visit me at the house.
We could sit on the porch until about 8 o'clock at night;
that's when it started getting dark.
That was it.
- Daisy Fuentes

Switzerland is a small, steep country,
much more up and down than sideways,
and is all stuck over with large brown hotels built
on the cuckoo clock style of architecture.
- Ernest Hemingway

A person who has not done one half his day's work by ten o clock,
runs a chance of leaving the other half undone.
- Emily Bronte

I'd never choose to turn the clock back.
- Geri Halliwell

I'm a 7 o'clock act.
My people want to go to a show, a dinner and then go home and go to bed.
- Louie Anderson

My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out
that Big Ben was a clock.
- Rodney Dangerfield

I want to turn the clock back to when people lived
in small villages and took care of each other.
- Pete Seeger

In the morning on Sunday, a drum is sounded at about 8 o'clock.
- William Brewster

You've got to clock the hours and pay your dues.
Then eventually, people will come to you.
You have to be patient and appreciative.
- Elisabeth Rohm

Even though it was six o'clock, there was no sense of approaching dawn.
- Mary Higgins Clark

And let a scholar all earth's volumes carry,
he will be but a walking dictionary:
a mere articulate clock.
- George Chapman

There's no sense talking about priorities.
Priorities reveal themselves.
We're all transparent against the face of the clock.
- Eric Zorn

In a real dark night of the soul, it is always three o'clock in the morning,
day after day.
- F. Scott Fitzgerald

It is the eve of St.
George's Day.
Do you not know that tonight, when the clock strikes midnight,
all the evil things in the world will have full sway?
- Bram Stoker

Yes, there's such a thing as luck in trial law but
it only comes at 3 o'clock in the morning.
You'll still find me in the library looking for luck
at 3 o'clock in the morning.
- Louis Nizer

The game isn't over till the clock says zero.
- Paul Pierce

The world changed from having the determinism of a
clock to having the contingency of a pinball machine.
- Heinz R. Pagels

The mind of man is like a clock that is always running down,
and requires to be constantly wound up.
- William Hazlitt

You were up at 5 o'clock in the morning,
and then you'd ride in a caravan, because we didn't
have big movie trucks or trailers that is the hardware of a movie camp.
- Marguerite Moreau

The hours of folly are measured by the clock;
but of wisdom,
no clock can measure.
- William Blake

No clock is more regular than the belly.
- Francois Rabelais

The hands of every clock are shears,
trimming us away scrap by scrap,
and every time piece with a digital readout blinks us towards implosion.
- Dean Koontz

No, when I worked as an accountant I was falling asleep waiting for 5 o'clock.
- Heston Blumenthal

Since both its national products, snow and chocolate,
melt, the cuckoo clock was invented solely in order
to give tourists something solid to remember it by.
- Alan Coren

The death clock is ticking slowly in our breast,
and each drop of blood measures its time,
and our life is a lingering fever.
- Georg Buchner

We cannot turn the clock back nor can we undo the harm caused,
but we have the power to determine the future and to
ensure that what happened never happens again.
- Paul Kagame


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