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Let these funny Climber Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be
clearer in his absence,
as the mountain to the climber
is clearer from the plain.
- Khalil Gibran
Everybody is a genius.
But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree,
it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
- Albert Einstein
There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie
To climb steep hills requires a slow pace at first.
- William Shakespeare
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If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up.
Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
- Michael Jordan
Life is not about how fast you run
or how high you climb
but how well you bounce.
- Vivian Komori
Keep close to Nature's heart...
and break clear away, once in awhile,
and climb a mountain or spend a week in the woods.
Wash your spirit clean.
- John Muir
After climbing a great hill,
one only finds that there are many more hills to climb.
- Nelson Mandela
We climb the steps to nowhere - always.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Climb the mountains and get their good tidings.
- John Muir
It's wonderful to climb the liquid mountains of the sky.
Behind me and before me is God, and I have no fears.
- Helen Keller
In my case, Pilgrim's Progress consisted
in my having to climb down a thousand ladders
until I could reach out my hand
to the little clod of earth that I am.
- Carl Jung
There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill
However carefully we plan our future,
we are always climbing the steps to nowhere.
While it is important to our happiness
that we have an intent for our lives,
it is equally crucial to accept in advance
that we truly have no idea how our lives will turn out -
and that is good.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The will to believe chases out the rational mind,
whenever and wherever the two come into conflict.
- Philip K. Dick
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
The rite of the rings appeals yet appalls:
a cutting, a joining, a losing, a gaining.
One becomes half, as two become one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Having two bathrooms ruined the capacity to co-operate.
- Margaret Mead
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein
Praying is important when you wake up
at two o'clock in the morning
feeling sick from eating something dumb the day before.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
- Abraham Lincoln
I truly believe that happiness is possible...
even when you're thirty-three
and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein
There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi
My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years
to have breakfast together,
but it was so disagreeable we had to stop.
- Winston Churchill
When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy
Every tomorrow has two handles.
We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety
or the handle of faith.
- Henry Ward Beecher
There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein
There are only two or three human stories,
and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely
as if they had never happened before.
- Willa Cather
Understanding is a two-way street.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated;
you can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.
- David Lloyd George
Prejudice is a two-edged sword.
Like the steel sort of sword, it's very sharp, very useful,
and very dangerous if not properly mastered.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Sadness is but a wall between two gardens.
- Khalil Gibran
Winners must have two things:
definite goals and a burning desire to achieve them.
- Anonymous
The two powers which in my opinion constitute a wise man
are those of bearing and forbearing.
- Epictetus
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I ...
I took the one less traveled by,
and that has made all the difference.
- Robert Frost
I had three chairs in my house;
one for solitude, two for friendship, three for society.
- Henry David Thoreau
As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands.
One for helping yourself, the other for helping others.
- Audrey Hepburn
The career of a sage is of two kinds:
He is either honored by all in the world,
Like a flower waving its head,
Or else he disappears into the silent forest.
- Lao Tzu
When I am getting ready to reason with a man,
I spend one-third of my time thinking about myself
and what I am going to say
and two-thirds about him and what he is going to say.
- Abraham Lincoln
A Great Relationship is the Dance of Two Great Lives.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A wise man hears one word and understands two.
- Yiddish Proverb
The Two Great Lessons of Life: Choose Love & Trust God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
This communicating of a man's self to his friend
works two contrary effects;
for it redoubleth joys, and cutteth griefs in half.
- Francis Bacon
Friendship is a strong and habitual inclination in two persons
to promote the good and happiness of one another.
- Eustace Budgell
We have two ears and one mouth so that
we can listen twice as much as we speak.
- Epictetus
Friendship is not possible between two women
one of whom is very well dressed.
- Laurie Colwin
There are two lasting bequests we can give our children
One is roots, the other is wings.
- Hodding Carter
There are two kinds of failures:
those who thought and never did,
and those who did and never thought.
- Laurence J. Peter
You can make more friends in two months
by becoming interested in other people
than you can in two years by trying
to get other people interested in you.
- Dale Carnegie
People generally complain about only two things:
when they have less than yesterday,
and when they have less than their neighbor.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.
- old proverb often attributed to David Lloyd George
Friendship is one mind in two bodies.
- Mencius
All philosophy lies in two words,
sustain and abstain.
- Epictetus
There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth;
not going all the way, and not starting.
- The Buddha
The meeting of two personalities is
like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
- Carl Jung
Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.
- Aristotle
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.