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Let these funny Christians Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians.
Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder.
- Pope John Paul I
The Christian missionary may preach the gospel
to the poor naked heathen,
but the spiritual heathen who populate Europe
have as yet heard nothing of Christianity.
- Carl Jung
Do not let Sunday be taken from you.
If your soul has no Sunday, it becomes an orphan.
- Albert Schweitzer
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If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
- Mother Teresa
Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor
If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain
Lord, grant that I might not so much
seek to be loved as to love.
- St. Francis of Assisi
Comfort and prosperity have never enriched
the world as much as adversity has.
- Billy Graham
For those of true faith, death is not a time to mourn,
but a time to celebrate returning to the Creator.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
This too, shall pass.
- Bible
A new command I give you: Love one another.
As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
- Jesus of Nazareth (John 13:34)
In boundless love as a Christian and as a man
I read through the passage which tells us
how the Lord at last rose in His might
and seized the scourge to drive out of the Temple
the brood of vipers and of adders.
- Adolf Hitler
I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted,
every hill and mountain shall be made low,
the rough places will be made straight
and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed
and all flesh shall see it together.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Our Lord has written the promise of the resurrection,
not in books alone, but in every leaf in spring-time.
- Martin Luther
If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need
but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?
- 1 John 3:17
Christmas waves a magic wand over this world,
and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.
- Norman Vincent Peale
Sunday clears away the rust of the whole week.
- Joseph Addison
Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.
- Mother Teresa
Humility is not thinking less of yourself,
it's thinking of yourself less.
- Rick Warren (author of The Purpose Driven(R) Life)
For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.
- Proverbs 23:7
The great gift of Easter is hope -
Christian hope which makes us have that confidence in God,
in his ultimate triumph, and in his goodness and love,
which nothing can shake.
- Basil C. Hume
The most telling act of true Faith
is celebrating the death of a loved one
with the certain knowledge that
they are now in a better place.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love one another.
- Jesus of Nazareth
To be a Christian without prayer
is no more possible than to be alive without breathing.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
To everything there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die.
- Ecclesiastes 3:1
No man ever prayed heartily without learning something.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
We are all pencils in the hand of God.
- Mother Teresa
Forgive Your Brother from Your Heart.
- Matthew 18:21-22
Let us touch the dying, the poor,
the lonely and the unwanted
according to the graces we have received
and let us not be ashamed
or slow to do the humble work.
- Mother Teresa
A new friend is like new wine;
when it has aged you will drink it with pleasure.
- Ecclesiastes 9:10
As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
- The Bible
If you believe in forever,
then life is just a one night stand.
- The Righteous Brothers
Compassion and generosity must be the heart of any true religion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We must be ready to learn from one another,
not claiming that we alone possess all truth
and that somehow we have a corner on God.
- Archbishop Desmond Tutu
Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
- St Francis of Assisi
Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
- St. Francis of Assisi
It is my desire, in the office of a Christian minister,
to do nothing which I cannot do with my whole heart.
Having said this, I have said all.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
You have heard that it was said,
"Love your neighbor and hate your enemy."
But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
- Matthew 5:43-44
The miracle is not that we do this work,
but that we are happy to do it.
- Mother Teresa
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
- St. Francis of Assisi
Christian voters should start looking
at global warming and extreme poverty
as religious issues that speak to the culture of life.
- Al Franken
When all is said and done,
the one sole condition that makes
spiritual happiness and preserves it
is the absence of doubt.
- Mark Twain
"Just living is not enough," said the butterfly,
"one must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower."
- Hans Christian Andersen
The will of God will never take you
to where the grace of God will not protect you.
- Anonymous
When you read God's Word, you must
constantly be saying to yourself,
"It is talking to me, and about me."
- Soren Kierkegaard
As you sow, so shall you reap.
- Galatians 6:7
We must not reduce the bosom of the universal church
to a nest protecting our mediocrity.
- Pope Francis
Moreover if your brother shall trespass against you,
go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.
- Matthew 18:15
One who has any faith in God
should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words.
- St. Francis of Assisi
A man's pride shall bring him low,
but honor shall uphold the humble in spirit.
- Proverbs 29:23
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle.
I just wish he didn't trust me so much.
- Mother Teresa
I do not pray for success,
I ask for faithfulness.
- Mother Teresa
Preserve me, O God: for in thee do I put my trust.
- Psalm 16:1
Bold Light of Spirit:
Out of the darkness and into the light,
Open our eyes and behold such a sight.
Brilliance of day takes the place of the night,
Boldness and courage are swords of His Might.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Above all the grace and the gifts
that Christ gives to his beloved
is that of overcoming self.
- St. Francis of Assisi
God sometimes does try to the uttermost
those whom he wishes to bless.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer;
my God, my strength, in whom I will trust.
- Psalm 18:2
In the beginning was the Word.
- John 1:1
Love your enemies, bless them that curse you,
do good to them that hate you, and pray for them
which despitefully use you and persecute you.
- Matthew 5:44
Death is nothing else but going home to God,
the bond of love will be unbroken for all eternity.
- Mother Teresa
The smallest seed of faith is better than
the largest fruit of happiness.
- Henry David Thoreau
Christmas ... is not a date. It is a state of mind.
- Mary Ellen Chase
There is nothing that wastes the body like worry,
and one who has any faith in God
should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Words which do not give the
light of Christ increase the darkness.
- Mother Teresa
Now abide faith, hope, love, these three;
but the greatest of these is love.
- Corinthians 13:13
Each one of them is Jesus in disguise.
- Mother Teresa
Not paying a just wage, not giving work,
only because one is looking at the bottom line,
at the budget of the company, seeking only profit -
that is against God.
- Pope Francis
Day by day we should weigh what we have
granted to the spirit of the world
against what we have denied to the spirit of Jesus,
in thought and especially in deed.
- Albert Schweitzer
I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God,
visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children
to the third and fourth generations.
- Exodus 20:5
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.