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Funny Chivalry Quotes
Funny Quotes about Chivalry

Let these funny Chivalry Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

The motto of chivalry is also the motto of wisdom;
to serve all,
but love only one.
- Honore de Balzac

In our fathers' time nothing was read but books of feigned chivalry,
wherein a man by reading should be led to none other end,
but only to manslaughter and bawdry.
- Roger Ascham

But the age of chivalry is gone.
That of sophisters, economists, and calculators has succeeded;
and the glory of Europe is extinguished forever.
- Edmund Burke

The age of chivalry has gone; the age of humanity has come.
- Charles Sumner


 

The institution of chivalry forms one of the most remarkable
features in the history of the Middle Ages.
- Horatio Alger

The sword was a very elegant weapon in the days of the samurai.
You had honor and chivalry much like the knights,
and yet it was a gruesome and horrific weapon.
- Dustin Diamond

Justice is better than chivalry if we cannot have both.
- Alice Stone Blackwell


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Some say that the age of chivalry is past,
that the spirit of romance is dead.
The age of chivalry is never past, so long as there
is a wrong left unredressed on earth.
- Charles Kingsley

There is another side to chivalry.
If it dispenses leniency, it may with equal justification invoke control.
- Freda Adler

Cervantes smiled Spain's chivalry away;
A single laugh demolished the right arm Of his country.
- George Byron

I heard that chivalry was dead, but I think it's just got a bad flue.
- Meg Ryan

The word Chivalry is derived from the French cheval,
a horse.
- Thomas Bulfinch

The age of chivalry is past.
Bores have succeeded to dragons.
- Charles Dickens

The old interests of aristocracy - the romance of action,
the exalted passions of chivalry and war -
faded into the background,
and their place was taken by the refined and intimate
pursuits of peace and civilization.
- Lytton Strachey

Thus the castle of each feudal chieftain became a school of chivalry,
into which any noble youth, whose parents were from
poverty unable to educate him to the art of war,
was readily received.
- Horatio Alger

The Southern whites are in many respects a great people.
Looked at from a certain point of view,
they are picturesque.
If one will put oneself in a romantic frame of mind,
one can admire their notions of chivalry and bravery and justice.
- James Weldon Johnson

You cannot have a proud and chivalrous spirit if your
conduct is mean and paltry;
for whatever a man's actions are,
such must be his spirit.
- Demosthenes

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain

However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill

Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb
cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.
- Dave Barry

I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender,
but you don't have a top for it.
- Jerry Seinfeld

When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)

There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
- Bill Cosby

There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as
you're insightful about it.
- Dennis Miller

New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you
hear but forgetting where you heard it.
- Laurence J. Peter

Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
- Tom Lehrer

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

Always remember the three magic words: You're right dear.
- Anonymous

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous

Of all the things that could frighten you,
you worry about my driving?
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

Smoking kills.
If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
- Brooke Shields

The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler

When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

You have to learn to push the guilt
under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- the Woody Allen movie Match Point

Never have more children than you have car windows.
- Erma Bombeck

Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2

My uncle Sammy was an angry man.
He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?
- Margaret Smith

People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well,
no, I was an accountant.
- Ellen DeGeneres

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)

I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup

We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect.
- Alanis Morissette

Do not let a flattering woman coax and wheedle you and deceive you;
she is after your barn.
- Hesiod

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.
- Joe E. Lewis

There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly!
- the movie Shrek (2001)

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)

Any girl can be glamorous.
All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.
- Hedy Lamarr

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch
too many of them together.
- Josh Billings

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck

Be careful about reading health books.
You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain

Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you,
unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.
- the movie Shrek 2


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