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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Childhood Quotes
Funny Quotes about Childhood

Let these funny Childhood Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is utterly false and cruelly arbitrary
to put all the play and learning into childhood,
all the work into middle age,
and all the regrets into old age.
- Margaret Mead

Personally, I have fond memories of playing
on slippery rocks on the banks of a rushing river
as a child and hitchhiking in college.
To those who say, "But times are different now,"
I reply that statistically life is much safer now
than in the 1950s, with regard to both crime and accidents.
What has changed is our attitudes.
In those years, a broken leg from falling off a swing
or the back of a tractor was just part of childhood -
an excuse for gathering autographs.
Today that broken leg would be a source
of outrage and probably lawsuits.
I long for a simpler time when life was taken less seriously.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, - I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! - and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
- Elizabeth Barrett Browning


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Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)

Anyone who isn't confused,
really doesn't understand the situation.
- Edward R. Murrow

To say "too busy" is merely
to say "confused priorities."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
- Phyllis Diller

You are only young once,
but you can stay immature indefinitely.
- Anonymous

Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson

To achieve success, stay relaxed - not stressed.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people stay for awhile,
and move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to a new understanding,
leave footprints on our hearts,
and we are never, ever the same.
- Flavia Weedn

You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you.
You have to go to them sometimes.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

I was thinking that I might fly today.
Just to disprove all the things you say...
please be careful with me, I'm sensitive,
and I'd like to stay that way.
- Jewel

If there ever comes a day when we can't be together,
keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

The very nature of the world is constant change.
You set a goal and create a plan to achieve it;
then the assumptions on which you
based your plan change - they always do.
The challenge is to retain your goals
while adapting your tactics.
Relax and stay flexible in order to reach
your goals and maintain your happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To keep your thinking young, stay curious.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Stay committed to your decisions,
but stay flexible in your approach.
- Tony Robbins

It's not that I'm so smart,
it's just that I stay with problems longer.
- Albert Einstein

Stay in the moment and all gifts are added
as you breathe and take inspired action.
- Joe Vitale

Love wasn't put in your heart to stay.
Love isn't love until you give it away.
- Michael W. Smith

Stay Alert, and doors will open.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Study nature, love nature,
stay close to nature. It will never fail you.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Stay at the center
and let all things take their course.
- Lao Tzu

I would rather try to persuade a man to go along,
because once I have persuaded him, he will stick.
If I scare him, he will stay just as long
as he is scared, and then he is gone.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I have never found a companion that was
so companionable as solitude.
We are for the most part more lonely
when we go abroad among men
than when we stay in our chambers.
A man thinking or working is always alone,
let him be where he will.
- Henry David Thoreau

This life is what you make it.
Not matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes,
it's a universal truth.
But the good part is,
you get to decide how you're going to mess it up.
Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway.
But just remember, some come, some go.
The ones that stay with you through everything -
they're your true best friends.
Don't let go of them.
Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world.
- Marilyn Monroe

The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)

We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

Never call an accountant a credit to his profession;
a good accountant is a debit to his profession.
- Charles Lyell

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
- Edgar Bergen

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly!
- the movie Shrek (2001)

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston Churchill

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde

The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau

You never can tell with bees.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln

I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel

I always pass on good advice.
It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde

Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
- H. L. Mencken

Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius

Never trust spiritual leader who doesn't dance.
- Miyagi: character in the movie The Next Karate Kid

Until you've lost your reputation,
you never realize what a burden it was.
- Margaret Mitchell

Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Never try to teach a pig to sing.
It wastes your time, and it annoys the pig.
- Mark Twain

Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller

One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln

Never put off till tomorrow
what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain

My father always told me that
all businessmen were sons of bitches,
but I never believed it till now.
- John F. Kennedy

I never accepted the idea
that I had to be guided by
some pattern or blueprint.
- Little Richard

Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard

I was wise enough to never grow up
while fooling most people into believing I had.
- Margaret Mead

The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.
- Oscar Wilde

People who want to share their religious views with you
almost never want you to share yours with them.
- Dave Barry

One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller

Eating words has never given me indigestion.
- Winston Churchill

TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.
- Anonymous

Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde

I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson

You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A person who never made a mistake
never tried anything new.
- Albert Einstein


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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