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Let these funny Chief Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
All things share the same breath -
the beast, the tree, the man...
the air shares its spirit with all the life it supports.
- Chief Seattle (attributed)
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
- Groucho Marx
Law of Contrariness:
Our chief want in life is somebody
who shall make us do what we can.
Having found them, we shall then hate them for it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I long to accomplish a great and noble task,
but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks
as if they were great and noble.
- Helen Keller
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The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.
- Alfred Adler
Concern for man and his fate must always form
the chief interest of all technical endeavors.
Never forget this in the midst of your diagrams and equations.
- Albert Einstein
We act as though comfort and luxury
were the chief requirements of life,
when all that we need to make us really happy
is something to be enthusiastic about.
- Charles Kingsley
I think "Hail to the Chief" has a nice ring to it.
- John F. Kennedy
Be the chief but never the lord.
- Lao Tzu
Profit is a by-product of work;
happiness is its chief product.
- Henry Ford
The heart is the chief feature of a functioning mind.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
A chief event of life is the day in which
we have encountered a mind that startled us.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Our chief want is someone who will inspire us
to be what we know we could be.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
There is no death, only a change of worlds.
- Chief Seattle
Man does not weave this web of life.
He is merely a strand of it.
Whatever he does to the web,
he does to himself.
- Chief Seattle (attributed)
Humankind has not woven the web of life.
We are but one thread within it.
Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves.
All things are bound together.
All things connect.
- Chief Seattle
Feel Unity with Spirit and All Creation
All things share the same breath the
beast, the tree, the man... the air
shares its spirit with all the life it supports.
- Chief Seattle [actually written by screenwriter Ted Perry in 1972]
The truth of things is the chief nutriment
of superior intellects.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Truth is always in harmony with herself,
and is not concerned chiefly to reveal the justice
that may consist with wrong-doing.
- Henry David Thoreau
Eagles come in all shapes and sizes,
but you will recognize them chiefly by their attitudes.
- E. F. Schumacher
Not life, but good life,
is to be chiefly valued.
- Socrates
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.
- Will Rogers
Truth is a tendency.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband
a month before she marries him
and what she thinks of him a year afterward,
and you will have the truth about him.
- H. L. Mencken
Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The rarest quality in an epitaph is truth.
- Henry David Thoreau
If you're going to tell people the truth,
be funny or they'll kill you.
- Billy Wilder
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
- Mark Twain
Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll
Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.
- Mel Brooks
All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill
My way of joking is telling the truth;
that is the funniest joke in the world.
- George Bernard Shaw
The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.
- Oscar Wilde
The lawyer's truth is not Truth,
but consistency or a consistent expediency.
- Henry David Thoreau
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin
If you are out to describe the truth,
leave elegance to the tailor.
- Albert Einstein
Tell the truth, or someone will tell it for you.
- Stephanie Klein
Truth is stranger than fiction,
but that is because Fiction is obliged
to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.
- Mark Twain
The words of truth are always paradoxical.
- Lao Tzu
Use the power of your word
in the direction of truth and love.
- don Miguel Ruiz
The truth. It is a beautiful and terrible thing,
and should be treated with caution.
- J. K. Rowling
The water in a vessel is sparkling;
the water in the sea is dark.
The small truth has words which are clear;
the great truth has great silence.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde
Soon we'll be out amid the cold world's strife.
Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life.
But as we go our sordid sep'rate ways,
We shall ne'er forget thee, thou golden college days.
Hearts full of youth,
Hearts full of truth,
Six parts gin to one part vermouth.
- Tom Lehrer - song: Bright College Days,
album: An Evening Wasted With Tom Lehrer
When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.
- George Bernard Shaw
Our actions are constrained by fear of reprisal,
but our dreams reveal our true character.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Every mind must make its choice
between truth and repose.
It cannot have both.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Having a personal opinion is great.
Believing that one's personal opinion is absolute truth
leads to most of the world's troubles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart,
and you shall see that in truth
you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
- Khalil Gibran
I am sorry to think that you do not get a man's
most effective criticism until you provoke him.
Severe truth is expressed with some bitterness.
- Henry David Thoreau
We take refuge in pride,
because we are afraid to tell the truth to ourselves.
- Kakuzo Okakura
The goal of education is the advancement of knowledge
and the dissemination of truth.
- John F. Kennedy
Truth is absolute, but only to one person.
My truth is absolute to me, and your truth is absolute to you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Intense feeling too often obscures the truth.
- Harry S. Truman
We are not afraid to follow truth
wherever it may lead,
nor to tolerate any error
so long as reason is left free to combat it.
- Thomas Jefferson
A man must be both stupid and uncharitable
who believes there is no virtue or truth but on his own side.
- Joseph Addison
It's essential to tell the truth at all times.
This will reduce life's pain.
Lying distorts reality.
All forms of distorted thinking must be corrected.
- John Bradshaw
He who knows nothing is closer to the truth
than he whose mind is filled with falsehoods and errors.
- Thomas Jefferson
All perception of truth
is the detection of an analogy;
we reason from our hands to our head.
- Henry David Thoreau
Truth has no special time of its own.
Its hour is now - always.
- Albert Schweitzer
Three things cannot be long hidden:
the sun, the moon, and the truth.
- The Buddha
We must be ready to learn from one another,
not claiming that we alone possess all truth
and that somehow we have a corner on God.
- Archbishop Desmond Tutu
I believe in the fundamental truth
of all great religions of the world.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The false can never grow into truth by growing in power.
- Rabindranath Tagore
The truth of the matter is that
you always know the right thing to do.
The hard part is doing it.
- Norman Schwarzkoff
Whoever undertakes to set himself up
as a judge of Truth and Knowledge
is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.
- Albert Einstein
A day spent without the sight or sound of beauty,
the contemplation of mystery,
or the search of truth or perfection
is a poverty-stricken day; and a succession
of such days is fatal to human life.
- Lewis Mumford
This is my wish for you:
Comfort on difficult days,
Smiles when sadness intrudes,
Rainbows to follow the clouds,
Laughter to kiss your lips,
Sunsets to warm your heart,
Hugs when spirits sag,
Beauty for your eyes to see,
Friendships to brighten your being,
Faith so that you can believe,
Confidence for when you doubt,
Courage to know yourself,
Patience to accept the truth,
Love to complete your life.
- Anonymous
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.