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Funny Cheese Quotes
Funny Quotes about Cheese

Let these funny Cheese Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down
rat holes with baited breath.
- W. C. Fields

The early bird gets the worm,
but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- Anonymous

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr


 

I am so clever that sometimes I don't
understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde

Too clever is dumb.
- Ogden Nash

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer


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A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel

"Rabbit's clever," said Pooh thoughtfully.
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit's clever."
"And he has Brain."
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit has Brain."
There was a long silence.
"I suppose," said Pooh, "that that's why he never understands anything."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

He who knows others is clever;
He who knows himself has discernment.
- Lao Tzu

You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers.
You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions.
- Naguib Mahfouz

Whatever your work and whatever its worth,
No matter how strong or clever,
Some one will sneer if you pause to hear,
And scoff at your best endeavor.
For the target art has a broad expanse,
And wherever you chance to hit it,
Though close be your aim to the bull's-eye fame,
There are those who will never admit it.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

If you have an important point to make,
don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver.
Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again.
Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
- Winston Churchill

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard

Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung

I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor

Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead

The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson

The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter

One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde

Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau

Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln

The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln

Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus

I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill


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