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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Cheaper Quotes
Funny Quotes about Cheaper

Let these funny Cheaper Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon

My theory has always been, that if we are to dream,
the flatteries of hope are as cheap, and pleasanter,
than the gloom of despair.
- Thomas Jefferson

That man is rich whose pleasures are the cheapest.
- Henry David Thoreau

Fear is the cheapest room in the house.
I would like to see you living
In better conditions.
- Hafiz


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Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin


 

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung

One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein

The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung

Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde

Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh

I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard

We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill

I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot

A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson

Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)

I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin

If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln

A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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