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Let these funny Central Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Misery nourishes your ego -
that's why you see so many miserable people in the world.
The basic, central point is the ego.
- Osho
The most central ingredient in the recipe
for living Simply An Inspired Life
is to Make Joyful CHOICES.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
I don't think of all the misery
but of the beauty that still remains.
- Anne Frank
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If misery loves company, misery has company enough.
- Henry David Thoreau
I simply can't build my hopes on a foundation
of confusion, misery and death...
I think... peace and tranquillity will return again.
- Anne Frank
Choose your life's mate carefully.
From this one decision will come
90 percent of all your happiness or misery.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
If the misery of the poor be caused
not by the laws of nature,
but by our institutions,
great is our sin.
- Charles Darwin
We cause ourselves untold misery whenever we believe
others to be imperfect and try to change them.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The greater part of our happiness or misery
depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.
- Martha Washington
When will our consciences grow so tender
that we will act to prevent human misery rather than avenge it?
- Eleanor Roosevelt
The second office in the government is honorable and easy;
the first is but a splendid misery.
- Thomas Jefferson
Whosoever is spared personal pain
must feel himself called
to help in diminishing the pain of others.
We must all carry our share of
the misery which lies upon the world.
- Albert Schweitzer
Our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions
and not on our circumstances.
- Martha Washington
Friends love misery, in fact.
Sometimes, especially if we are too lucky
or too successful or too pretty,
our misery is the only thing that endears us to our friends.
- Erica Jong
Socialism is a philosophy of failure,
the creed of ignorance,
and the gospel of envy,
its inherent virtue is
the equal sharing of misery.
- Winston Churchill
In spite of everything, I still believe
that people are really good at heart.
I simply can't build up my hopes on a foundation
consisting of confusion, misery and death.
- Anne Frank
I have always held firmly to the thought
that each one of us can do a little
to bring some portion of misery to an end.
- Albert Schweitzer
I am determined to be cheerful and happy
in whatever situation I may find myself.
For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness
is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.
- Martha Washington
Ecstasy is our very nature;
not to be ecstatic is simply unnecessary.
To be ecstatic is natural, spontaneous.
It needs no effort to be ecstatic,
it needs great effort to be miserable.
That's why you look to tired,
because misery is really hard work;
to maintain it is really difficult,
because you are doing something against nature.
- Osho
Happiness lies in accepting everyone
in our lives EXACTLY as they are.
We cause ourselves untold misery whenever
we believe others to be imperfect and try to change them.
This is the number one rule for a happy relationship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If we fail to plan, we merely bob helplessly -
like a cork on the sea of life.
If we resist whatever life delivers to us,
we create untold misery for ourselves.
If we act with vision and commitment,
and then accept whatever Spirit provides,
we live a life of purpose and joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil
to one who is striking at the root,
and it may be that he who bestows the largest amount
of time and money on the needy
is doing the most by his mode of life
to produce that misery
which he strives in vain to relieve.
- Henry David Thoreau
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain
Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon
Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde
If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein
Life is a succession of lessons
which must be lived to be understood.
- Helen Keller
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster
I never accepted the idea
that I had to be guided by
some pattern or blueprint.
- Little Richard
You can observe a lot by just watching.
- Yogi Berra
She generally gave herself very good advice,
(though she very seldom followed it).
- Lewis Carroll
A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong
Anyone who isn't confused,
really doesn't understand the situation.
- Edward R. Murrow
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...
It's about learning to Dance in the Rain.
- Vivian Greene
Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin
It takes a big cat to be number 2.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is hard enough to remember my opinions,
without also remembering my reasons for them!
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
Life is a reflection of intent.
Love reflects love.
Hate reflects hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
The book of life is filled with incoherent riddles.
Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.