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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Center Quotes
Funny Quotes about Center

Let these funny Center Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Our honorable and worthy ancestors knew that the world was flat,
motionless, and the center of the universe.
They knew the human body could not withstand
the forces of traveling faster than 19 mph.
They knew that the way to salvation was
exorcising witches and slaying non-believers.
They knew that it was a mortal sin to marry
someone of a different skin color.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black

At the center of your being you have the answer;
you know who you are and you know what you want.
- Lao Tzu

Stay at the center
and let all things take their course.
- Lao Tzu


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At the center of non-violence stands the principle of love.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The whole world is a cyclone.
But once you have found the center, the cyclone disappears.
This nothingness is the ultimate peak of consciousness.
- Osho

I despise people who go to the gutter
on either the right or the left
and hurl rocks at those in the center.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower


 

Simply see that you are at the center of the universe,
and accept all things and beings
as parts of your infinite body.
When you perceive that an act done to another
is done to yourself,
you have understood the great truth.
- Lao Tzu

Beyond mind, there is an awareness that is intrinsic,
that is not given to you by the outside, and is not an idea -
and there is no experiment up to now
that has found any center in the brain
which corresponds to awareness.
The whole work of meditation is
to make you aware of all that is "mind"
and disidentify yourself from it.
That very separation is the
greatest revolution that can happen to man.
Now you can do and act on only that
which makes you more joyous, fulfills you,
gives you contentment, makes your life a work of art, a beauty.
But this is possible only if the master in you is awake.
- Osho

I am a self-centered spoiled-rotten brat,
Thank you for nurturing me.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; ...
Forgive them anyway.
- Kent Keith
(often attributed to Mother Teresa, who kept a copy
on the wall of her orphanage)

No one can find inner peace except by working,
not in a self-centered way, but for the whole human family.
- Peace Pilgrim

When you become centered, suddenly there is great freedom
because you know you are not the mind and you are not the body.
- Osho

A mind at peace, a mind centered
and not focused on harming others,
is stronger than any physical force in the universe.
- Wayne Dyer

Walking is Zen, sitting is Zen.
Then what will be the quality?
Watchfully alert, joyously unmotivated,
centered, loving, flowing, one walks.
And the walking is sauntering.
Loving, alert, watchful, one sits, unmotivated -
not sitting for anything in particular,
just enjoying how beautiful
just sitting doing nothing is,
how relaxing, how restful.
- Osho

"Mother Teresa Prayer"
People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
... Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you
of selfish, ulterior motives;
... Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some
false friends and some true enemies;
... Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
... Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
... Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
... Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
... Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
... Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.
We can do no great things - only small things with great love.
- although commonly attributed to Mother Teresa,
who kept a copy of this prayer on
the wall of her Calcutta orphanage,
this prayer was actually written by Kent Keith.

I'm awash in self-contempt!
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
- W. C. Fields

No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is our choices ... that show what we truly are,
far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling (Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets)

I do not need anyone's permission to be my true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

He who joyfully marches in rank and file
has already earned my contempt.
He has been given a large brain by mistake,
since for him the spinal cord would suffice.
- Albert Einstein

You do not need anyone's permission to be your true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Simply do your best, and you will avoid
self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
- don Miguel Ruiz

I was wise enough to never grow up
while fooling most people into believing I had.
- Margaret Mead

This is your day to Laugh at Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Forgiveness is an act of self-love and respect.
- don Miguel Ruiz

I have spent many years of my life in opposition,
and I rather like the role.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Always be a first-rate version of yourself,
instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
- Judy Garland

I sail the seas of life as the MASTER of my ship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill

Stand Tall, Stand Proud.
Know that you are unique and magnificent.
You do not need the approval of others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What lies behind us and what lies before us
are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A lot of presidential memoirs, they say, are dull and self-serving.
I hope mine is interesting and self-serving.
- William J. Clinton

Listen to the compass of your heart.
All you need lies within you.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Nobody can bring you peace but yourself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin

Happiness blooms
in the presence of self-respect
and the absence of ego.
Love yourself.
Love everyone around you.
Love everyone in the whole world.
Know that your own life is of infinite importance,
as is every other life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Self confident independent thinker -
sounds like the makings of a hero.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No amount of self-improvement can make up
for a lack of self-acceptance.
- Anonymous

Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln

Weariness comes, on some days, from lack of service to self.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

This above all, to thine own self be true.
- William Shakespeare

It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.
- Edmund Hillary

Happiness blooms
in the presence of self-respect,
and the absence of ego.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When one has nothing to lose, one becomes courageous.
We are timid only when
there is something we can still cling to.
- Carlos Castaneda

You have to leave the city of your comfort
and go into the wilderness of your intuition.
What you'll discover will be wonderful.
What you'll discover is yourself.
- Alan Alda

If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Everyone thinks of changing the world,
but no one thinks of changing himself.
- Leo Tolstoy

Your greatest gift to your family and friends is yourself -
your relaxed, happy, and fully-present self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To travel is to take a journey into yourself.
- Danny Kaye

Grin your smile; giggle your laugh; unfurl your joy;
dash the last trace of your self-consciousness;
and cavort your most uninhibited play.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

May your life always be Counterpoint to the Clamor of the World.
May you delight in Dancing Lightly With Life.
May you soar on eagle wings, high above the madness of the world.
May you always sing Melody in the Symphony of Your Life.
May you taste, smell, and touch your dreams of a beautiful tomorrow.
May your sun always shine, and your sky be forever blue.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To have a friendship with God,
all I really have to do is have
a friendship with my Self.
- Neale Donald Walsch

People can be more forgiving than you can imagine.
But you have to forgive yourself.
Let go of what's bitter and move on.
- Bill Cosby

Real excellence and humility are
not incompatible one with the other,
on the contrary they are twin sisters.
- Jean Baptiste Lacordaire

We disrespect ourselves and our free-will
whenever we say that we NEED to do something.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself,
than be crowded on a velvet cushion.
- Henry David Thoreau

You get what you settle for.
- the character Louise in the movie Thelma and Louise

The greatest hazard of all, losing one's self,
can occur very quietly in the world, as if it were nothing at all.
- Soren Kierkegaard

That you may retain your self-respect, it is better
to displease the people by doing what you know is right,
than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong.
- William J. H. Boetcker

Small people never learn to be indifferent;
they either envy or pity.
- Anonymous

Self-respect is not a function of size, age, or wealth.
Breathe deep, sing loud and sweet,
"I am me, I am unique, I am magnificent."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The way to develop self-confidence
is to do the thing you fear
and get a record of successful experiences behind you.
- William Jennings Bryan

Be that self which one truly is.
- Soren Kierkegaard

A man who doesn't trust himself
can never really trust anyone else.
- Cardinal De Retz

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
- Mark Twain

Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once.
- William Shakespeare

Don't look for approval from anyone other than yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

With realization of one's own potential and
self-confidence in one's ability,
one can build a better world.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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