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Funny Catastrophes Quotes
Funny Quotes about Catastrophes

Let these funny Catastrophes Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

War is a series of catastrophes which result in victory.
- Albert Pike

AIDS occupies such a large part in our awareness because
of what it has been taken to represent.
It seems the very model of all the catastrophes privileged
populations feel await them.
- Susan Sontag

It's not catastrophes, murders, deaths,
diseases, that age and kill us; it's the way people look and laugh,
and run up the steps of omnibuses.
- Virginia Woolf

One of the privileges of the great is to witness catastrophes from a terrace.
- Jean Giraudoux


 

Science fiction writers foresee the inevitable,
and although problems and catastrophes may be inevitable,
solutions are not.
- Isaac Asimov

Plant diseases, drought, desolation,
despair were recurrent catastrophes during the ages -
and the ancient remedies: supplications to supernatural spirits or gods.
- Norman Borlaug

Great breakthroughs are always followed by great catastrophes.
- Rosalia de Castro


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The military has been tremendously important in the
past during catastrophes and in protecting the population.
But it shouldn't become an auxiliary police force.
- Otto Schily

Have you noticed that life, with murders and catastrophes
and fabulous inheritances,
happens almost exclusively in newspapers?
- Jean Anouilh

The recent past always presents itself as if destroyed by catastrophes.
- Theodor Adorno

The happiness of most people is not ruined by great
catastrophes or fatal errors,
but by the repetition of slowly destructive little things.
- Ernest Dimnet

War is a series of catastrophes that results in a victory.
- Georges Clemenceau

Human beings will line up for miles to buy a bucket of catastrophes,
but don't try selling sunshine and light -
you'll go broke.
- Chuck Jones

Shakespeare very rarely makes the least attempt to
surprise by his catastrophes.
They are felt to be inevitable, though the precise
way in which they will be brought about is not,
of course, foreseen.
- Andrew Coyle Bradley

Sometimes you're not even sure which of your stories were failures.
There are things I've written that I thought were complete
catastrophes when I finished with them that have gone
on to generate some of my most positive feedback.
- Len Wein

Catastrophes are often stimulated by the failure to
feel the emergence of a domain,
and so what cannot be felt in the imagination is experienced
as embodied sensation in the catastrophe.
- William Irwin Thompson

The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything
save our modes of thinking
and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.
- Albert Einstein

Human history becomes more and more a race between
education and catastrophe.
- H. G. Wells

Feeling good about government is like looking on the
bright side of any catastrophe.
When you quit looking on the bright side,
the catastrophe is still there.
- P. J. O'Rourke

History is a race between education and catastrophe.
- H. G. Wells

Life improves slowly and goes wrong fast,
and only catastrophe is clearly visible.
- Edward Teller

We see an extensive program of dismantling state institutions...
These are ingredients for catastrophe.
- Iyad Allawi

The German Emperor is ageing me; he is like a battleship
with steam up and screws going,
but with no rudder, and he will run into something
some day and cause a catastrophe.
- Edward Grey

If some great catastrophe is not announced every morning,
we feel a certain void.
Nothing in the paper today, we sigh.
- Lord Acton

When a man meets catastrophe on the road,
he looks in his purse, but a woman looks in her mirror.
- Margaret Turnbull

The world has closed its eyes to the humanitarian catastrophe in Azerbaijan,
where every seventh citizen is a refugee.
- Leonid Kuchma

A hundred times have I thought New York is a catastrophe and 50 times:
It is a beautiful catastrophe.
- Le Corbusier

No connection between Iraq and the 9/11 catastrophe.
- Richard Ben-Veniste

Success is not built on success.
It's built on failure.
It's built on frustration.
Sometimes its built on catastrophe.
- Sumner Redstone

The sense of national catastrophe is inevitably heightened in a television age,
when the whole country participates in it.
- R. W. Apple, Jr.

The economy in Ireland has been rampaging ahead for the last 15 years.
Barring an international, political or natural catastrophe,
things can only get better for the Irish.
- Eddie Murphy

Perhaps catastrophe is the natural human environment,
and even though we spend a good deal of energy trying to get away from it,
we are programmed for survival amid catastrophe.
- Germaine Greer

History: the category of human phenomena which tends to catastrophe.
- Jules Romains

Rulers do not reduce taxes to be kind.
Expediency and greed create high taxation,
and normally it takes an impending catastrophe to bring it down.
- Charles Adams

This was truly guerilla filmmaking.
We shot out in the middle of nowhere in a place called Delta Flats,
where basically every day was some new minor catastrophe.
- Jeri Ryan

The notion that one will not survive a particular catastrophe is,
in general terms, a comfort since it is equivalent
to abolishing the catastrophe.
- Iris Murdoch

The term clinical depression finds its way into too
many conversations these days.
One has a sense that a catastrophe has occurred in the psychic landscape.
- Leonard Cohen

We have been terrorised by what happened in America
and we express our condolences to the American people
who suffered from this unexpected catastrophe and a new world war.
- Muammar al-Gaddafi

Anything in history or nature that can be described
as changing steadily can be seen as heading toward catastrophe.
- Susan Sontag

One approaches the journey's end.
But the end is a goal, not a catastrophe.
- George Sand

It's sort of well-known that anytime any catastrophe
happens anywhere in the world,
they can count on the United States for help.
- Morgan Freeman

Congress should be forward thinking in the policies we set,
instead of waiting until catastrophe looms.
- Bill Frist

As a result of the historic catastrophe in which Titus
of Rome destroyed Jerusalem and Israel was exiled from its land,
I was born in one of the cities of the Exile.
- Shmuel Y. Agnon

If left unchecked, global change will create violent conflict,
torrential storms, shrinking coastlines,
and irreversible catastrophe.
- Valerie Jarrett

I was a catastrophe at Science and Games,
but the good thing about Quaker schools is that they
encourage you in those subjects for which you show an aptitude.
- Richard Rodney Bennett

In the Atlantean period there were many energies being
used and information and knowledge being used which were,
for particular reasons of safety, withdrawn,
shall we say, to prevent complete catastrophe,
to prevent total destruction of your planet.
- David Icke

Well, our concern has to do with the period prior to 9/11,
up to and including the catastrophe that occurred.
And thank goodness, we're not obliged to make assessments
of what's going on now and deal with these current events.
- Richard Ben-Veniste

The concern around probable questions,
which in a sense have been hidden, will grow around
the world and the matter is critical,
the reason we are doing all this is so we can respond
correctly to what is reported to be a major catastrophe
on the African continent.
- Thabo Mbeki

I would be very happy to see 3.5 billion humans wiped
out from the face of the earth within the next 150
or 200 years and I am quite prepared to go myself with this majority...
let us all look forward to the day when the catastrophe strikes us down!
- John Aspinall

Obama sounded like Al Gore on global warming.
The more the case for man-made warming falls apart,
the more hysterical Gore gets about an imminent catastrophe.
The more public support his stimulus bill loses,
the more Obama embraces fear-mongering.
- Fred Barnes

I saw clearly how those who saved the state so heroically
and courageously in the War of Independence would be
capable of bringing a catastrophe upon it if they are
given the chance in normal times.
- Moshe Sharett

That was for instance the case in Mocambique a couple of years ago,
during the flooding catastrophe.
Instead of co-ordinating assistance properly,
to much time and resources was spent on fighting about
the same helicopters and local guides.
- Anna Lindh

All sensible Army people turned gas warfare down as
being utterly insane since,
in view of your superiority in the air,
it would not be long before it would bring the most
terrible catastrophe upon German cities,
which were completely unprotected.
- Albert Speer

We don't want to go back to the same policies and the
same practices that drove our economy into a ditch,
that punished the middle class, and that led us to this catastrophe.
We have to keep moving forward.
- David Axelrod

As a rule, anyone who can tell a good story can write one,
so there really need be no mistake about his qualification;
such a man will be careful not to be wearisome,
and to keep his point, or his catastrophe,
well in hand.
- James Payn

So that the record of history is absolutely crystal clear.
That there is no alternative way, so far discovered,
of improving the lot of the ordinary people that can
hold a candle to the productive activities that are
unleashed by a free enterprise system.
- Milton Friedman

That's kind of the weird thing that M. Night Shyamalan
has sort of unleashed upon the world is this need for
every movie to have these ridiculous endings.
- Alex Winter

Any time the Western way of war can be unleashed on
an enemy stupid enough to enter its arena,
victory is assured.
- Victor Davis Hanson

Almost all people have this potential for evil,
which would be unleashed only under certain dangerous social circumstances.
- Iris Chang

People must not think that all bad in man which is unleashed,
the moment you impose censorship disappears from man.
- Milos Forman

The atom was unleashed in 1946, right when all this stuff was occurring.
And the bomb's incredible release of energy and light
may have signalled somebody in a dimension which is
sharing space with us very closely.
- Dwight Schultz

I think unleashing 3,000 smart bombs against the city
of Baghdad in the first several days of the war...
to me, if those were unleashed against the San Francisco Bay Area,
I would call that an act of extreme terrorism.
- Pete Stark

Our decade of change has unleashed the ingenuity,
creativity, and character of the most extraordinary people in the world -
the people of this state,
who come from every corner of the globe.
- George E. Pataki

Australia integrated the - brought on the ships and
unleashed in the society the dogs of sectarianism,
which had existed in other places - in Glasgow,
in Liverpool and of course in Ireland,
north and south.
- Thomas Keneally

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

History will have to record that the greatest tragedy
of this period of social transition
was not the strident clamor of the bad people,
but the appalling silence of the good people.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Anthropology demands the open-mindedness
with which one must look and listen,
record in astonishment
and wonder that which one would not have been able to guess.
- Margaret Mead

Never mind what others do;
do better than yourself,
beat your own record from day to day,
and you are a success.
- William J. H. Boetcker

I believe that anyone can conquer fear
by doing the things he fears to do,
provided he keeps doing them until he gets
a record of successful experience behind him.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Art is the desire of a man to express himself,
to record the reactions of his personality to the world he lives in.
- Amy Lowell

Sometimes before we make a record I go back and listen to a few.
It's equally humbling and uplifting.
- Michael Stipe


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