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Funny Carrying Quotes
Funny Quotes about Carrying

Let these funny Carrying Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Trust your own inner guidance.
Have faith that your steps are
carrying you toward your dreams.
Keep your eyes on the heavens
and believe that your feet will carry you well.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is no person in this room whose basic rights
are not involved in any successful defiance
to the carrying out of court orders.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

You are a little soul carrying around a corpse.
- Epictetus

To believe in a just law of cause and effect,
carrying with it a punishment or a reward,
is to believe in righteousness.
- Ernest Holmes


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Liar is a strong word, but we are all liars.
Not in the sense of intentionally speaking untruths,
but in the sense of carrying so much historical
and emotional baggage that none of us is believable.
To lie means to speak an untruth,
and virtually everything that comes out of our mouth
is an untruth - an opinion, an assumption,
a point-of-view based on our past.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Let today be a day to trust your own inner guidance,
a day to have faith that your steps are carrying you
in the direction you desire,
a day to keep your eyes on the heavens
and believe that your feet will carry you well.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I feel the same way about solitude as some people
feel about the blessing of the church.
It's the light of grace for me.
I never close my door behind me without the awareness
that I am carrying out an act of mercy toward myself.
- Peter Hoeg


 

Life is like a roller coaster - scream Whee... on the way down,
and let the momentum carry you back up the next hill.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If we were to do the Second Coming of Christ
in color for a full hour,
there would be a considerable number of stations
which would decline to carry it on the grounds
that a Western or a quiz show would be more profitable.
- Edward R. Murrow

Clouds come floating into my life,
no longer to carry rain or usher storm,
but to add color to my sunset sky.
- Rabindranath Tagore

I soothe my conscience now with the thought that
it is better for hard words to be on paper
than that Mummy should carry them in her heart.
- Anne Frank

The man who promises everything, is sure to fulfill nothing,
and everyone who promises too much is in danger of
using evil means in order to carry out his promises,
and is already on the road to perdition.
- Carl Jung

If we are to teach real peace in this world,
and if we are to carry on a real war against war,
we shall have to begin with the children.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Freedom makes a huge requirement of every human being.
With freedom comes responsibility.
For the person who is unwilling to grow up,
the person who does not want to carry is own weight,
this is a frightening prospect.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

I must uphold my ideals,
for perhaps the time will come
when I shall be able to carry them out.
- Anne Frank

No man will ever carry out of the Presidency
the reputation which carried him into it.
- Thomas Jefferson

Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.
- West African proverb famously quoted by Theodore Roosevelt

Maturity is the ability to do a job
whether or not you are supervised,
to carry money without spending it,
and to bear an injustice without wanting to get even.
- Ann Landers

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful,
we must carry it with us or we find it not.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

All major religious traditions
carry basically the same message,
that is love, compassion and forgiveness.
The important thing is they should
be part of our daily lives.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

To carry each other is not a burden at all
but a kind of privilege.
- Bono

Today, I Allow Spirit To Carry All My Burdens.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Whosoever is spared personal pain
must feel himself called
to help in diminishing the pain of others.
We must all carry our share of
the misery which lies upon the world.
- Albert Schweitzer

Ritual is the way you carry the presence of the sacred.
Ritual is the spark that must not go out.
- Christina Baldwin

The grass is not always greener
on the other side of the fence.
Fences have nothing to do with it.
The grass is greenest where it is watered.
When crossing over fences, carry water with you
and tend the grass wherever you may be.
- Anonymous

It's really a wonder that I haven't dropped all my ideals,
because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out.
Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything
I still believe that people are really good at heart.
- Anne Frank

Whenever you choose to carry resentment and hatred,
you are shouldering an immense burden that damages
your happiness, and often your health.
Does it matter that your resentment and hatred are "justified?"
Only you suffer - not the person you resent.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.
- Theodore Roosevelt

No written law has ever been more binding
than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.
- Carrie Chapman Catt

There is no point at which you can say,
"Well, I'm successful now.
I might as well take a nap."
- Carrie Fisher

The bluebird carries the sky on his back.
- Henry David Thoreau

A man's interest in a single bluebird
is worth more than a complete but dry list
of the fauna and flora of a town.
- Henry David Thoreau

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein

The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus

Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill

A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln

Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung

The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.