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Funny Career Quotes
Funny Quotes about Career

Let these funny Career Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.
- Cathy Guisewite

You should not confuse your career with your life.
- Dave Barry

The career of a sage is of two kinds:
He is either honored by all in the world,
Like a flower waving its head,
Or else he disappears into the silent forest.
- Lao Tzu

Many important things shouldn't be done half-way.
Think of getting married, having children,
starting a business, changing your career.
There are times to gather your courage
and make the leap, the whole leap.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

The secret to a joyful life is Simplicity -
saying NO to the latest this and the most glamorous that -
saying NO to chasing an overly-demanding career -
saying NO to the stressful demands upon your time and energy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I wasn't very good about juggling family and my career.
I was interested in who was coming to the children's birthday party,
what my son was writing.
I was thinking about Legos.
- Jill Clayburgh

Clearly, society has a tremendous stake in insisting
on a woman's natural fitness for the career of mother:
the alternatives are all too expensive.
- Ann Oakley


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Nobody ever asks a father how he manages to combine marriage and a career.
- Sam Ewing

Both my mother and father were very supportive of any
career move any of us wanted to make.
- James Gandolfini

If the career you have chosen has some unexpected inconvenience,
console yourself by reflecting that no career is without them.
- Jane Fonda

If you don't enjoy your career,
today is the day to begin a long-term plan
for creating a career that interests and excites you.
And, in the short term, even if you hate your job,
look for small joys at work each day,
perhaps in your interactions with customers and co-workers.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Everything that is worthwhile in life is scary.
Choosing a school, choosing a career,
getting married, having kids -
all those things are scary.
If it is not fearful, it is not worthwhile.
- Paul Tornier

Take motherhood: nobody ever thought of putting it
on a moral pedestal until some brash feminists pointed out,
about a century ago, that the pay is lousy and the
career ladder nonexistent.
- Barbara Ehrenreich

I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career.
I've lost almost 300 games.
26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed.
I've failed over and over and over again in my life.
And that is why I succeed.
- Michael Jordan

You will die but the carbon will not;
its career does not end with you.
It will return to the soil, and there a plant may take it up again in time,
sending it once more on a cycle of plant and animal life.
- Jacob Bronowski

I plan on staying at Alabama for the rest of my career.
I guarantee that I'll be here for you through it all,
regardless of what happens.
- Bear Bryant

I'd started working when I was 21 and had been very
determined about my career,
very focused, even as a little kid, so it was something
I had been working at for a long time.
- Josh Schwartz

I learned from Mr. Wrigley, early in my career, that
loyalty wins and it creates friendships.
I saw it work for him in his business.
- Ernie Banks

I haven't achieved as much as I should have done in my career.
- Jamie Redknapp

I had already done Rainbow in Curved Air and had a big record on CBS.
I was launched to have a long career and then I just
dropped out and went to India.
- Terry Riley

Being on stage is the best part of my career.
I just say whatever comes into my head.
It's the only time I feel grown-up and in control of things.
- Loretta Lynn

My acting career began at age three and my parents got me into it.
I was in a McDonald's commercial.
- Corey Feldman

I have a very busy life, and not many people who have
a career and four kids go out a lot to the movies.
- Meryl Streep

It destroys the soul to hear that you're all hype,
that you have no talent, and that your whole career has been contrived.
- Freddie Mercury

I have so much satisfaction in my life.
I have a beautiful wife and the great stimulation of an interesting career.
I'm the most happy fellow that I know.
- Brendan Fraser

I feel very blessed we can still have a career making music.
- Mike McCready

Don't ever let economic alone determine your career
or how you spend the majority of your time.
- Denis Waitley

I think American Idol is a great career launcher.
A blessing for all of us.
- LaToya London

It never hurt Lenny Bruce's career to get arrested for swearing.
It did back in the time, but he broke those doors down
by doing the stuff that he believed in.
- Joe Rogan

While I'm trying to be different, I'm trying to be
very conservative at this point in my career.
- Christy Romano

The writing career is not a romantic one.
The writer's life may be colorful, but his work itself is rather drab.
- Mary Roberts Rinehart

My career at Warner Brothers consisted of one musical short subject.
I was running around in a bear skin.
Very chic.
- Ethel Merman

I wasn't a businesswoman, so I didn't know how to build a career.
- Sally Kellerman

I went to the London Academy Of Music and Dramatic
Art and returned to New York where I started my career.
- David Naughton

A career is wonderful, but you can't curl up with it on a cold night.
- Marilyn Monroe

Our ultimate goal is to stay in business.
We are not here with a specific plan.
That's kind of how our entire career has evolved.
We will figure things out as we go along.
- Mary-Kate Olsen

I hope to continue building my acting career and work
more on projects that fulfill my artistic thirst.
- Karolina Kurkova

This is the kind of work I've aspired to my whole career.
- Treat Williams

Superstar was made so early in my career I had nothing to do with it at all.
The first time I saw it was the opening screening.
- Andrew Lloyd Webber

It was not really a career choice that I had to make.
It was something I knew right from the beginning.
I had to be an actress...
period.
- Christine Lahti

They see a work ethic in both of us.
But, they also see that my husband is more in control of his future,
and I am more reliant on other sources for my career.
- Jami Gertz

The high point of my entire junior high school career
was going backstage to meet George Harrison.
I was simply awestruck.
- Lorna Luft

It's hard to know really how it's going to happen,
but the career ebbs and flows and now there's a nicer
feeling of interest than there has been at other times.
- Gretchen Mol

I don't want to be an action star, an action star's life is so short.
I want my life to get longer, I want my career to get longer.
- Jackie Chan

You've got to build a career and a practice.
- Robin Day

Sometimes you're in great demand.
Then suddenly your career hits the breaks.
- Gary Sinise

I hope to be around past the 90's.
I don't want to just be categorized as one of this era.
My goal is to have a career that stands.
- Mariah Carey

The great thing about arriving at this age is that
I don't even care about my career anymore.
- Ron Perlman

We need to be adopted by God through Jesus -
that was what happened to me,
and that's what changed my life so that now,
I can see that my career can be part of a calling.
- Cliff Richard

Creative people who have made their seemingly most
self-indulgent artistic whims into a career.
- Steve Purcell

I always feel like I want to do my career my own way.
I never follow anybody's path, what they've done.
- Famke Janssen

If they tell the police, the police will find out she was driving,
and her career will be put into hell.
- Nicholas Mosley

Nixon, who spent much of his career attacking the press
and saying he was a victim of the press,
was in fact created by the press, in this case the L.A.
Times.
- David Halberstam

I still say one of the greatest moments in my whole
NBA career was getting drafted.
- Kevin Johnson

I want to know what it's like to play in a Super Bowl and win one.
My career will be great without it.
But, personally, selfishly, I want to know what it feels like.
- Dan Marino

Yes, winning the gold medal was undoubtedly the biggest day of my career -
mostly because I won the way I had prepared to run it.
It was a totally satisfying experience.
- Frank Shorter

I've been very blessed in my personal life and in my
career and I have never been ungrateful for what I have.
- Mandy Patinkin

I'm going to college.
I don't care if it ruins my career.
I'd rather be smart than a movie star.
- Natalie Portman

The combination of pictures and words together can be really effective,
and I began to realise in my career that unless I wrote my own words,
then my message was diluted.
- Galen Rowell

Now I'm a painter.
That was another opportunity I was able to pursue,
I've been painting all my life, now it's become a second
career because of my success in the movies.
- Tony Curtis

When I started in films, it never really occurred to
me that I could make a career out of acting.
- Sam Neill

In a way, my past gives me a little credibility.
Not that anybody cares what I did nineteen years ago,
but I did have a career, and a legitimate one,
before I met my husband.
- Pia Zadora

I very much enjoyed my career in science.
I didn't leave science because I was disillusioned,
but felt I'd done my bit for it after about twenty-five years.
- John Polkinghorne

I had a lot of anger inside me and that came out at
times that were not particularly advantageous to me career-wise.
- Mickey Rourke

I was feeling real good and real manly.
Until a real cowboy walked by and told me I had my hat on backwards.
So much for my career as a cowboy.
- Michael Biehn

The band projects just took natural priority.
I didn't really have a solo career, just wanted to
share the music in another way and to learn more about writing,
recording, etcetera.
- Ken Hensley

There's never been any game plan or thread through my career.
It's just happened that I've ricocheted from one interesting character to another.
- Derek Jacobi

I've cheated myself: there are other things I could
have done to fill out the bouquet of my career.
- Robert Urich

I did get to work with Anthony Hopkins on 'The Human Stain.'
If I ever manage to accomplish a quarter of what he's achieved,
I'll have had one hell of a career.
- Lindsay Lohan

Fortunately for me I was able to do well here,
and it really did great things for my career and now
hopefully I can go out there and continue to do what I did.
- Latrell Sprewell

I had a great first year and Mr. MacDonald was my biggest supporter.
He gave me the encouragement I needed that first year
to get my career started on a positive note.
- Jim Evans


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.