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Funny Called Quotes
Funny Quotes about Called

Let these funny Called Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

The God of Children and Fools:
There once was a man way up high,
who sat on his chair in the sky.
he called down to fool us,
and said he would rule us,
until we woke up bye and bye.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Everyone believes that their beliefs are the right ones -
that is why they are called beliefs.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

To a philosopher all news,
as it is called, is gossip,
and they who edit and read it
are old women over their tea.
- Henry David Thoreau

What is called genius is the
abundance of life and health.
- Henry David Thoreau

When we lose one we love,
our bitterest tears are called forth
by the memory of hours when we loved not enough.
- Maurice Maeterlinck


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It's called a pen.
It's like a printer, hooked straight to my brain.
- Dale Dauten

Whosoever is spared personal pain
must feel himself called
to help in diminishing the pain of others.
We must all carry our share of
the misery which lies upon the world.
- Albert Schweitzer

I've been called many names like perfectionist,
difficult and obsessive.
I think it takes obsession, takes searching for the
details for any artist to be good.
- Barbra Streisand

Gold medals aren't really made of gold.
They're made of sweat, determination,
and a hard-to-find alloy called guts.
- Dan Gable

Most of the luxuries, and many of the so-called comforts of life
are not only not indispensable,
but positive hindrances to the elevation of mankind.
- Henry David Thoreau

It seems a long time since the morning mail could be called correspondence.
- Jacques Barzun

I claim that human mind or human society
is not divided into watertight compartments
called social, political and religious.
All act and react upon one another.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Perhaps in time the so-called Dark Ages will be thought of as including our own.
- Georg C. Lichtenberg

My son is now an 'entrepreneur.' That's what you're
called when you don't have a job.
- Ted Turner

Maybe there is no actual place called hell.
Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents
breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
- Jim Carrey

No one is to be called an enemy,
all are your benefactors, and no one does you harm.
You have no enemy except yourselves.
- St. Francis of Assisi

When the body of the people is possessed of the supreme power,
it is called a democracy.
- Charles de Secondat

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions,
including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.
- Doug Larson

The most called-upon prerequisite of a friend is an accessible ear.
- Maya Angelou

I have called this principle,
by which each slight variation, if useful, is preserved,
by the term of Natural Selection.
- Charles Darwin

Some people care too much. I think it's called love.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

If people destroy something replaceable made by mankind,
they are called vandals; if they destroy something
irreplaceable made by God,
they are called developers.
- Joseph Wood Krutch

It was the nation and the race dwelling all round the globe
that had the lion's heart.
I had the luck to be called upon to give the roar.
- Winston Churchill

Yesterday is history,
tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift.
That is why it is called Present.
- Anonymous

When I took office, only high energy physicists
had ever heard of what is called the Worldwide Web...
Now even my cat has its own page.
- William J. Clinton

If we knew what it was we were doing,
it would not be called research, would it?
- Albert Einstein

An idea that is not dangerous is
unworthy of being called an idea at all.
- Oscar Wilde

That great dust-heap called 'history'.
- Augustine Birrell

So long as we have enough people in this country willing
to fight for their rights,
we'll be called a democracy.
- Roger Nash Baldwin

We are called to be architects of the future, not its victims.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

We have to stop and be humble enough to understand
that there is something called mystery.
- Paulo Coelho

I can do no other than be reverent
before everything that is called life.
I can do no other than to have compassion
for all that is called life.
That is the beginning and the foundation of all ethics.
- Albert Schweitzer

The moment you have in your heart this extraordinary
thing called love and feel the depth,
the delight, the ecstasy of it, you will discover that
for you the world is transformed.
- Jiddu Krishnamurti

My mother always called me an ugly weed,
so I never was aware of anything until I was older.
Plain girls should have someone telling them they are beautiful.
Sometimes this works miracles.
- Hedy Lamarr

A wise one said, "We are most like God when we forgive."
It is easy for us to blame, but hard for us to forgive.
Yet that is what we are called upon to do -
to forgive everyone for everything.
And the reward?
In this life, the reward for forgiveness
is your own happiness.
Unconditional universal forgiveness is
the key to your own happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Just one quality of the Buddha has to be remembered.
He consists only of one quality: witnessing.
This small word witnessing contains the whole of spirituality.
Witness that you are not the body.
Witness that you are not the mind.
Witness that you are only a witness.
As the witnessing deepens,
you start becoming drunk with the divine.
That is what is called ecstasy.
- Osho

Where am I? Who am I? How did I come to be here?
What is this thing called the world?
How did I come into the world?
Why was I not consulted?
And If I am compelled to take part in it,
Where is the director? I want to see him.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Most people think that anger is an instinctive response,
and that some people were just born with the temperament
to get angrier faster than others.
That statement is only half right.
Anger is an instinctive response.
We respond to an affront with anger essentially instantaneously -
much too quickly for conscious thought to be called upon.
But the instinct of the anger response
can be trained through conscious repetition,
visualization, and coaching.
Visualization is seeing the event
we desire to master in our mind's eye.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's
a support group for that.
It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.
- Drew Carey

I was born in a little place called Inverness,
MS.
- Little Milton

The CIA's research program is described in a book called
The Search for the Manchurian Candidate.
- Ken Follett

I knew Anais Nin, who called me after I had been away for a few years.
She was seeking help because at that time no one would
give her a decent review.
She was made fun of.
- Marguerite Young

This is funny because I just had a job over the summer for VH1,
a project I did called Strange Frequency where I got
to play a Goth rock band singer.
- Charisma Carpenter

It started off at a club called Disobey,
around the corner from where I live.
- Richard D. James

I suppose I was a little bit of what would be called today a nerd.
I didn't have girlfriends, and really I wasn't a very social boy.
- Charles Kuralt

Fascism should more appropriately be called Corporatism
because it is a merger of state and corporate power.
- Benito Mussolini

People of Wealth and the so called upper class suffer the most from boredom.
- George Sanders

It is hard to say why politicians are called servants,
unless it is because a good one is hard to find.
- Gerald F. Lieberman

Man has no Body distinct from his Soul;
for that called Body is a portion of Soul discerned by the five Senses,
the chief inlets of Soul in this age.
- William Blake

We experience moments absolutely free from worry.
These brief respites are called panic.
- Cullen Hightower

I enter the world called real as one enters a mist.
- Julien Green

Juggling is sometimes called the art of controlling patterns,
controlling patterns in time and space.
- Ronald Graham

Tom Byron is my friend.
JJ Michaels is my friend.
I haven't heard from him.
I don't know what he believes.
A couple of other have called but I haven't called them back.
- Marc Wallice

The so-called Beat Generation was a whole bunch of people,
of all different nationalities, who came to the conclusion that society sucked.
- John Clellon Holmes

One of the fellows called me 'Cyclone' but finally
shortened it to 'Cy' and its been that ever since.
- Cy Young

Nobody from my label called any of their labels to get this done.
Most of it happened very naturally.
Mary and I have been friends for a long time.
Then Jay-Z offered.
- Angie Martinez

When I was 5, my mother threw a party,
and a friend and I wrote and performed a play called The Dutch Doll.
- Mira Sorvino

Before the group left, Gary asked for my phone number,
and the next day he called to ask me to dinner that night.
I had no idea he was married, but I found out that night.
- Donna Rice

The Bishop and Knight, in contradistinction to the Queen and Rook,
are called Minor Pieces.
- Howard Staunton

My first Western was called The Magnificent Seven.
- Eli Wallach

Actually I ran away from school when I was 13.
No one could find me, and the police were called.
I was just hiding in a little thicket of grass at my school,
and went to sleep.
- Zhang Ziyi

Most of our so-called reasoning consists in finding
arguments for going on believing as we already do.
- James Robinson

Lately I did a film called All I Want for Christmas
and it was well received.
This gave me a new point of view and a new respect
for my work as an actress.
- Sarah Polley

I am an old sinner; and if God had designed mercy for me,
he would have called me home to himself before now.
- David Brainerd

Mistakes are painful when they happen,
but years later a collection of mistakes is what is called experience.
- Denis Waitley

When we're unemployed, we're called lazy;
when the whites are unemployed it's called a depression.
- Jesse Jackson

A cold atheistical materialism is the tendency of the
so-called material philosophy of the present day.
- Adam Sedgwick

I'd forgotten I'd done the anime called Spirited Away,
the English version of a Japanese film.
- David Ogden Stiers

I'd grab the camera and tell people what to do,
and when I was 14, someone told me that it was called directing.
- Guillermo del Toro


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.