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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Called Quotes
Funny Quotes about Called

Let these funny Called Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

The God of Children and Fools:
There once was a man way up high,
who sat on his chair in the sky.
he called down to fool us,
and said he would rule us,
until we woke up bye and bye.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Everyone believes that their beliefs are the right ones -
that is why they are called beliefs.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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What is called genius is the
abundance of life and health.
- Henry David Thoreau

When we lose one we love,
our bitterest tears are called forth
by the memory of hours when we loved not enough.
- Maurice Maeterlinck

To a philosopher all news,
as it is called, is gossip,
and they who edit and read it
are old women over their tea.
- Henry David Thoreau


 

Most of the luxuries, and many of the so-called comforts of life
are not only not indispensable,
but positive hindrances to the elevation of mankind.
- Henry David Thoreau

We have to stop and be humble enough to understand
that there is something called mystery.
- Paulo Coelho

We are called to be architects of the future, not its victims.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

Yesterday is history,
tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift.
That is why it is called Present.
- Anonymous

I have called this principle,
by which each slight variation, if useful, is preserved,
by the term of Natural Selection.
- Charles Darwin

When I took office, only high energy physicists
had ever heard of what is called the Worldwide Web...
Now even my cat has its own page.
- William J. Clinton

Some people care too much. I think it's called love.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

An idea that is not dangerous is
unworthy of being called an idea at all.
- Oscar Wilde

It was the nation and the race dwelling all round the globe
that had the lion's heart.
I had the luck to be called upon to give the roar.
- Winston Churchill

No one is to be called an enemy,
all are your benefactors, and no one does you harm.
You have no enemy except yourselves.
- St. Francis of Assisi

The most called-upon prerequisite of a friend is an accessible ear.
- Maya Angelou

I claim that human mind or human society
is not divided into watertight compartments
called social, political and religious.
All act and react upon one another.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

If we knew what it was we were doing,
it would not be called research, would it?
- Albert Einstein

Whosoever is spared personal pain
must feel himself called
to help in diminishing the pain of others.
We must all carry our share of
the misery which lies upon the world.
- Albert Schweitzer

A wise one said, "We are most like God when we forgive."
It is easy for us to blame, but hard for us to forgive.
Yet that is what we are called upon to do -
to forgive everyone for everything.
And the reward?
In this life, the reward for forgiveness
is your own happiness.
Unconditional universal forgiveness is
the key to your own happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Just one quality of the Buddha has to be remembered.
He consists only of one quality: witnessing.
This small word witnessing contains the whole of spirituality.
Witness that you are not the body.
Witness that you are not the mind.
Witness that you are only a witness.
As the witnessing deepens,
you start becoming drunk with the divine.
That is what is called ecstasy.
- Osho

Most people think that anger is an instinctive response,
and that some people were just born with the temperament
to get angrier faster than others.
That statement is only half right.
Anger is an instinctive response.
We respond to an affront with anger essentially instantaneously -
much too quickly for conscious thought to be called upon.
But the instinct of the anger response
can be trained through conscious repetition,
visualization, and coaching.
Visualization is seeing the event
we desire to master in our mind's eye.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Where am I? Who am I? How did I come to be here?
What is this thing called the world?
How did I come into the world?
Why was I not consulted?
And If I am compelled to take part in it,
Where is the director? I want to see him.
- Soren Kierkegaard

I can do no other than be reverent
before everything that is called life.
I can do no other than to have compassion
for all that is called life.
That is the beginning and the foundation of all ethics.
- Albert Schweitzer

Never call an accountant a credit to his profession;
a good accountant is a debit to his profession.
- Charles Lyell

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
- W. C. Fields

How many legs does a dog have
if you call the tail a leg? Four.
Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
- Abraham Lincoln

Most of what we call management consists of
making it difficult for people to get their work done.
- Peter F. Drucker

When I want to be bold about my movement ...
I for sure do not call it exercise!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- George Carlin

You may call God love, you may call God goodness.
But the best name for God is compassion.
- Meister Eckhart

It is the friends you can call up at 4 A.M. that matter.
- Marlene Dietrich

Until you make the unconscious conscious,
it will direct your life and you will call it fate.
- Carl Jung

What's in a name? That which we call a rose
by any other name would smell as sweet
- William Shakespeare

The way to happiness is what I call Zero-Based Gratitude.
Each day be happy and grateful for what you have,
independent of yesterday and of other people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The cost of a thing is the amount
of what I will call life
which is required to be exchanged for it,
immediately or in the long run.
- Henry David Thoreau

My bold life awaits me. I answer the call.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I can see, and that is why I can be happy,
in what you call the dark, but which to me is golden.
I can see a God-made world, not a manmade world.
- Helen Keller

What we call human nature in actuality is human habit.
- Jewel

I am the call.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When we find someone whose weirdness
is compatible with ours,
we join up with them and fall into
mutually satisfying weirdness -
and call it love - true love.
- Robert Fulghum.

Best friends are the ones who can be the farthest away
but there the fastest when you call.
- Anonymous

Lord, grant comfort, joy and health
to those I call friend,
to those I call enemy,
and to those I have cursed by my indifference.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I accept everything that ever has been,
with no regrets, no resentments, and no call for vengeance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you call a tail a leg, how many legs has a dog?
Five? No, calling a tail a leg don't make it a leg.
- Abraham Lincoln

Thank you for joining me on this journey we call Life,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

They don't call them DEADlines for nothing - keep breathing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Call a plant beautiful, and it becomes a flower.
Call it ugly, and it becomes a weed.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Sense the life force -
what the Chinese call "Qi" -
radiating powerfully.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you do something once,
people will call it an accident.
If you do it twice, t
hey call it a coincidence.
But do it a third time, and
you've just proven a natural law.
- Grace Hopper

The beginning of wisdom is to
call things by their right names.
- Chinese proverb

What we call the beginning is often the end.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
The end is where we start from.
- T. S. Eliot

From far beyond this life,
I hear the call.
From place beyond all place,
I feel the call.
From time before all time,
I know the call.
From one before all ones,
I am the call.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Even the rich are hungry for love,
for being cared for, for being wanted,
for having someone to call their own.
- Mother Teresa

The power of the Wizard lives within me.
I call upon its magic at will - transforming Fear into Love.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A free America... means just this:
individual freedom for all, rich or poor,
or else this system of government we call democracy
is only an expedient to enslave man
to the machine and make him like it.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

God is the great mysterious motivator of what we call nature,
and it has often been said by philosophers,
that nature is the will of God.
And I prefer to say that nature
is the only body of God that we shall ever see.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Fix reason firmly in her seat,
and call to her tribunal every fact, every opinion.
Question with boldness even the existence of a God;
because, if there be one,
he must more approve of the homage of reason,
than that of blindfolded fear.
- Thomas Jefferson

I believe in God, but not as one thing,
not as an old man in the sky.
I believe that what people call God
is something in all of us.
I believe that what Jesus and Mohammed and Buddha
and all the rest said was right.
It's just that the translations have gone wrong.
- John Lennon

If you tried to give rock and roll another name,
you might call it "Chuck Berry."
- John Lennon

The architect must be a prophet...
a prophet in the true sense of the term...
if he can't see at least ten years ahead don't call him an architect.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

I like to talk about a thing I call a "practiced pause."
Just a few moments of pausing allows me
to consider a circumstance and take stock
of what the best direction might be.
Reactions tend to rise from habit and unconsidered action.
A Response is considered and thoughtful.
My actions are my own and I am, singularly,
responsible for what I see, say, feel and exert.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

A newborn does not have worry, or stress, or anger,
because they have not yet learned those things.
Consider what life would be like if you could
forget all the past resentments and perceived offenses
that color your thinking and your emotions.
Buddhists call that state "beginner mind" -
an opening to experience life
without the jaundiced filter of past disappointments.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Through Qigong, one learns to quiet the mind
and allow communion with the One.
We call the One "Tao," but you may be more comfortable
with a term like "Holy Spirit," or "God,"
as long as you don't start visualizing
an old man on a throne floating in the sky.
The One is everything, and everything is the One.
Each of us is the One, and the One is inside each of us.
Just remember that it's an infinity thing -
the tiniest bit of infinity is still infinite.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life repeats itself mindlessly -
unless you become mindful, it will go on repeating like a wheel.
That's why Buddhists call it the wheel of life and death,
the wheel of time.
It moves like a wheel: birth is followed by death,
death is followed by birth;
love is followed by hate, hate is followed by love;
success is followed by failure,
failure is followed by success. Just see!
If you can watch just for a few days,
you will see a pattern emerging, a wheel pattern.
One day, a fine morning, you are feeling so good and so happy,
and another day you are so dull,
so dead that you start thinking of committing suicide.
And just the other day you were so full of life,
so blissful that you were feeling thankful to God,
that you were in a mood of deep gratefulness,
and today there is great complaint
and you don't see the point why one should go on living...
And it goes on and on, but you don't see the pattern.
Once you see the pattern, you can get out of it.
- Osho

The greatest battle of all is simply... Life.
This is no child's game. This is the big one -
the Super Bowl - the Game of all games.
The rules of Life are unwritten and unknown.
Perhaps, one could say that there are no rules.
The Judge has ultimate power.
She can call the game at any time - for any reason.
The penalties in the Game are completely arbitrary -
in both timing and severity.
Penalty for what, we ask?
The Judge is silent.
How can I win the Game?
"You can never win," comes the answer,
"So just take pleasure in playing the Game."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If being an egomaniac means I believe
in what I do and in my art or my music,
then in that respect you can call me that.
I believe in what I do, and I'll say it.
- John Lennon

One of the greatest titles we can have is "old friend."
We never appreciate how important old friends are until we are older.
The problem is we need to start our old friendships when we are young.
We then have to nurture and grow those friendships over our middle age
when a busy life and changing geographies
can cause us to neglect those friends.
Today is the day to invest in those people
we hope will call us "old friend" in the years to come.
- Grant Fairley


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.