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Let these funny Brutal Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
True courage is not the brutal force of vulgar heroes,
but the firm resolve of virtue and reason.
- Alfred North Whitehead
I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can,
only as one who has seen its brutality, its futility, its stupidity.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I would heartily welcome the union of East and West
provided it is not based on brute force.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)
God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill
We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar
A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter
Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius
An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein
If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau
Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln
Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead
Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill
The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.