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Let these funny Britain Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
If the United States of America or Britain is having elections,
they don't ask for observers from Africa or from Asia.
But when we have elections, they want observers.
- Nelson Mandela
The assertion that "all men are created equal"
was of no practical use in effecting our separation from Great Britain
and it was placed in the Declaration not for that, but for future use.
- Abraham Lincoln
I always seem to get inspiration and renewed vitality
by contact with this great novel land of yours
which sticks up out of the Atlantic.
- Winston Churchill
To be one, to be united is a great thing.
But to respect the right to be different is maybe even greater.
- Bono
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If anyone is crazy enough to want to kill
a president of the United States, he can do it.
All he must be prepared to do is give his life for the president's.
- John F. Kennedy
We must make it clear that a platform
of "I hate gay men and women'
is not a way to become president of the United States.
- Jimmy Carter
I am mortified to be told that, in the United States of America,
the sale of a book can become a subject of inquiry,
and of criminal inquiry too.
- Thomas Jefferson
India is a geographical term.
It is no more a united nation than the Equator.
- Winston Churchill
Only the united beat of sex and heart together can create ecstasy.
- Anais Nin
The United States has to move very fast to even stand still.
- John F. Kennedy
For me, one of the greatest things about living in the United States
is that we have a national holiday - Thanksgiving Day -
dedicated to honoring gratitude.
Having gratitude is one of the keys to a happy life.
Let every day be a day of profound thanksgiving.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes
can be settled by using force,
then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization
and our best hope of establishing a world order.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
The United States strongly seeks a lasting agreement
for the discontinuance of nuclear weapons tests.
We believe that this would be an important step toward reduction
of international tensions and would open the way
to further agreement on substantial measures of disarmament.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious
as to have friends at a distance;
they make the latitudes and the longitudes.
- Henry David Thoreau
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2
Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden
As for doing good; that is one of the professions which is full.
Moreover I have tried it fairly and, strange as it may seem,
am satisfied that it does not agree with my constitution.
- Henry David Thoreau
If you would convince others,
seem open to conviction yourself.
- Lord Chesterfield
Nothing I say can explain to you Divine Love
Yet all of creation cannot seem to stop talking about it.
- Rumi
Whatever you do may seem insignificant to you,
but it is most important that you do it.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I find that the harder I work,
the more luck I seem to have.
- Thomas Jefferson
People seem not to see that
their opinion of the world
is also a confession of character.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If I seem to boast more than is becoming,
my excuse is that I brag
for humanity rather than for myself.
- Henry David Thoreau
Things are seldom what they seem.
- William S. Gilbert (Gilbert and Sullivan: HMS Pinafore)
Be as you wish to seem.
- Socrates
People do not seem to realize that
their opinion of the world
is also a confession of character.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
We are strange beings, we seem
to go free, but we go in chains -
chains of training, custom, convention,
association, environment -
in a word, Circumstance -
and against these bonds
the strongest of us struggle in vain.
- Mark Twain
People that seem so glorious are all show;
underneath they are like everyone else.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
You are braver than you believe,
stronger than you seem,
and smarter than you think.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Ordinary people seem not to realize
that those who really apply themselves
in the right way to philosophy
are directly and of their own accord
preparing themselves for dying and death.
- Socrates
Men kick friendship around like a football,
but it doesn't seem to crack.
Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.
- Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Too many people are thinking of security
instead of opportunity.
They seem more afraid of life than death.
- James F. Bymes
Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does.
Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.
- James A. Baldwin
What you seem to be, be really.
- Benjamin Franklin
Don't fall for looks, they can deceive.
Don't fall for wealth, in the end it fades away.
Find someone who makes you smile
because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.
- Anonymous
I am an optimist.
It does not seem too much use being anything else.
- Winston Churchill
It's really a wonder that I haven't dropped all my ideals,
because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out.
Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything
I still believe that people are really good at heart.
- Anne Frank
If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together...
there is something you must always remember.
You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem,
and smarter than you think.
But the most important thing is, even if we're apart...
I'll always be with you.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
In all things and in all ways,
choice impacts virtually every element of our life.
It bears repeating that even those things
which seem out of reach of our choice
are governed by how we choose to perceive them.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Living the Unconcerned Life is living
a life without anxiety or worry -
especially in those situations where anxiety and worry
would seem to be expected and "natural."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When I despair, I remember that all through history
the way of truth and love has always won.
There have been tyrants and murderers and
for a time they seem invincible,
but in the end, they always fall ... think of it, always.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
Always forgive your enemies -
nothing annoys them so much.
- Oscar Wilde
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
Nothing is more cheerful than talking
about our friends' shortcomings.
- Mason Cooley
There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- the Woody Allen movie Anything Else
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?
In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
- Woody Allen
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin
Gossip is the art of saying nothing
in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid.
- Walter Winchell
Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
I didn't make it all the way through third grade for nothing.
- the movie The Rescuers Down Under
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
- Helen Keller
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
- Albert Schweitzer
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau
Manners require time, and nothing is more vulgar than haste.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot
There's nothing you can know that isn't known.
- John Lennon
The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson
The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Nothing in life is to be feared.
It is only to be understood.
- Marie Curie
Today is probably a good day for something;
but it's a better day for doing nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Nothing is as good for the soul as a marshmallow roast.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The Christian missionary may preach the gospel
to the poor naked heathen,
but the spiritual heathen who populate Europe
have as yet heard nothing of Christianity.
- Carl Jung
A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic.
- George Bernard Shaw
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.