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Let these funny Brain Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
He who joyfully marches in rank and file
has already earned my contempt.
He has been given a large brain by mistake,
since for him the spinal cord would suffice.
- Albert Einstein
I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I
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"Rabbit's clever," said Pooh thoughtfully.
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit's clever."
"And he has Brain."
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit has Brain."
There was a long silence.
"I suppose," said Pooh, "that that's why he never understands anything."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Our brain is the factory of the emotions
- don Miguel Ruiz
Any man who reads too much
and uses his own brain too little
falls into lazy habits of thinking.
- Albert Einstein
Toleration is the greatest gift of the mind;
it requires the same effort of the brain
that it takes to balance oneself on a bicycle.
- Helen Keller
Non-violence, which is the quality of the heart,
cannot come by an appeal to the brain.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Reading, after a certain age,
diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits.
Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little
falls into lazy habits of thinking.
- Albert Einstein
There is no need for temples,
no need for complicated philosophies.
My brain and my heart are my temples;
my philosophy is kindness.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
This is my simple religion.
There is no need for temples;
no need for complicated philosophy.
Our own brain, our own heart is our temple;
the philosophy is kindness.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
A great architect is not made by way of a brain
nearly so much as he is made by way
of a cultivated, enriched heart.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Beyond mind, there is an awareness that is intrinsic,
that is not given to you by the outside, and is not an idea -
and there is no experiment up to now
that has found any center in the brain
which corresponds to awareness.
The whole work of meditation is
to make you aware of all that is "mind"
and disidentify yourself from it.
That very separation is the
greatest revolution that can happen to man.
Now you can do and act on only that
which makes you more joyous, fulfills you,
gives you contentment, makes your life a work of art, a beauty.
But this is possible only if the master in you is awake.
- Osho
Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous
Love thy neighbor -
and if he happens to be tall,
debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
- Mae West
Love looks through a telescope;
envy, through a microscope.
- Josh Billings
Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous
A woman in love can't be reasonable -
or she probably wouldn't be in love.
- Mae West
Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
Love is a grave mental disease.
- Plato
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West
My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner
Love is loving what your lover loves.
- Anonymous
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
Love is metaphysical gravity.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine
I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton
The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill
True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal
One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston
True love is a process of co-creation
in which neither feels ownership or superiority.
Jealousy is a highly destructive force
for love and relationships.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.
- Erich Segal
We are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past,
but by the love we're not extending in the present.
- Marianne Williamson
Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates
Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West
To the people who love you,
you are beautiful already.
This is not because they're
blind to your shortcomings
but because they so clearly see your soul.
- Victoria Moran
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash
Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If love is the answer,
could you please rephrase the question.
- Lily Tomlin
I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein
He who marries for love without money
has good nights and sorry days.
- Anonymous
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,
but with somebody else.
- Mae West
Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom.
- Rabindranath Tagore
A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson
Lord, grant that I might not so much
seek to be loved as to love.
- St. Francis of Assisi
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
Beauty is an outward gift,
which is seldom despised,
except by those to whom it has been refused.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
This is my ultimate fantasy:
watching QVC with a credit card
while making love and eating at the same time.
- Yasmine Bleeth
Beauty without grace is the hook without the bait.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
- Anonymous
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.