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Let these funny Boast Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
If I seem to boast more than is becoming,
my excuse is that I brag
for humanity rather than for myself.
- Henry David Thoreau
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
It is not proud. It does not dishonor others,
It is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,
It keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
- Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV)
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious
as to have friends at a distance;
they make the latitudes and the longitudes.
- Henry David Thoreau
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Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2
I always seem to get inspiration and renewed vitality
by contact with this great novel land of yours
which sticks up out of the Atlantic.
- Winston Churchill
Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden
As for doing good; that is one of the professions which is full.
Moreover I have tried it fairly and, strange as it may seem,
am satisfied that it does not agree with my constitution.
- Henry David Thoreau
If you would convince others,
seem open to conviction yourself.
- Lord Chesterfield
People seem not to see that
their opinion of the world
is also a confession of character.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Whatever you do may seem insignificant to you,
but it is most important that you do it.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Ordinary people seem not to realize
that those who really apply themselves
in the right way to philosophy
are directly and of their own accord
preparing themselves for dying and death.
- Socrates
People that seem so glorious are all show;
underneath they are like everyone else.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does.
Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.
- James A. Baldwin
Nothing I say can explain to you Divine Love
Yet all of creation cannot seem to stop talking about it.
- Rumi
Be as you wish to seem.
- Socrates
What you seem to be, be really.
- Benjamin Franklin
People do not seem to realize that
their opinion of the world
is also a confession of character.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I am an optimist.
It does not seem too much use being anything else.
- Winston Churchill
Too many people are thinking of security
instead of opportunity.
They seem more afraid of life than death.
- James F. Bymes
We are strange beings, we seem
to go free, but we go in chains -
chains of training, custom, convention,
association, environment -
in a word, Circumstance -
and against these bonds
the strongest of us struggle in vain.
- Mark Twain
Men kick friendship around like a football,
but it doesn't seem to crack.
Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.
- Anne Morrow Lindbergh
You are braver than you believe,
stronger than you seem,
and smarter than you think.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Things are seldom what they seem.
- William S. Gilbert (Gilbert and Sullivan: HMS Pinafore)
I find that the harder I work,
the more luck I seem to have.
- Thomas Jefferson
Don't fall for looks, they can deceive.
Don't fall for wealth, in the end it fades away.
Find someone who makes you smile
because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.
- Anonymous
Living the Unconcerned Life is living
a life without anxiety or worry -
especially in those situations where anxiety and worry
would seem to be expected and "natural."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's really a wonder that I haven't dropped all my ideals,
because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out.
Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything
I still believe that people are really good at heart.
- Anne Frank
In all things and in all ways,
choice impacts virtually every element of our life.
It bears repeating that even those things
which seem out of reach of our choice
are governed by how we choose to perceive them.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
When I despair, I remember that all through history
the way of truth and love has always won.
There have been tyrants and murderers and
for a time they seem invincible,
but in the end, they always fall ... think of it, always.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together...
there is something you must always remember.
You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem,
and smarter than you think.
But the most important thing is, even if we're apart...
I'll always be with you.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner
Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)
I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald
I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears,
for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
- Albert Einstein
The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken
Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln
Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little
The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin
I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain
It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell
Random chance seems to have operated in our favor ...
there was no deity involved.
- Spock character in the Star Trek television series
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
- Mark Twain
Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Experience keeps a dear school,
but fools will learn in no other.
- Benjamin Franklin
No problem is so formidable that
you can't walk away from it.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
The way to silence religious disputes is to take no notice of them.
- Thomas Jefferson
I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
You have no values. With you its all nihilism,
cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith
He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.