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Let these funny Bitter Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
People can be more forgiving than you can imagine.
But you have to forgive yourself.
Let go of what's bitter and move on.
- Bill Cosby
Experience life in all possible ways -
good-bad, bitter-sweet, dark-light, summer-winter.
Experience all the dualities.
Don't be afraid of experience,
because the more experience you have,
the more mature you become.
- Osho
I must dedicate my life to teaching my people,
for only education would make their lot less bitter,
their latent power more strong.
- Jimmy Yen
I am neither bitter nor cynical but I do wish
there was less immaturity in political thinking.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
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Your pain is the breaking of the shell
that encloses your understanding.
Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the
physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink
his remedy in silence and tranquility.
- Khalil Gibran
Let the word go forth from this time and place,
to friend and foe alike,
that the torch has been passed
to a new generation of Americans -
born in this century, tempered by war,
disciplined by a hard and bitter peace.
- John F. Kennedy
We have always found the Irish a bit odd.
They refuse to be English.
- Winston Churchill
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- George Carlin
Most truths are so naked
that people feel sorry for them
and cover them up,
at least a little bit.
- Edward R. Murrow
I am merely a bit player in your stories,
as you are merely a bit player in mine.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To leave the world a bit better ...
to know that one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
You are important. You are the star -
the only star - of your own life show.
Everyone else is a bit player in the great drama of your life.
Be of service to humanity, but never be anyone's doormat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today's acorns grow into the oak trees of thirty years hence.
But what acorns are we sowing today?
Imagine what an acorn-sized bit of prejudice or hatred would grow into.
Imagine what an acorn-sized bit of pollution can become.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store.
What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.
- Dr. Seuss
If a friend of mine gave a feast, and did not invite me to it,
I should not mind a bit.
but if a friend of mine had a sorrow
and refused to allow me to share it,
I should feel it most bitterly.
If he shut the doors of the house of mourning against me,
I would move back again and again and beg to be admitted
so that I might share in what I was entitled to share.
If he thought me unworthy, unfit to weep with him,
I should feel it as the most poignant humiliation.
- Oscar Wilde
Through Qigong, one learns to quiet the mind
and allow communion with the One.
We call the One "Tao," but you may be more comfortable
with a term like "Holy Spirit," or "God,"
as long as you don't start visualizing
an old man on a throne floating in the sky.
The One is everything, and everything is the One.
Each of us is the One, and the One is inside each of us.
Just remember that it's an infinity thing -
the tiniest bit of infinity is still infinite.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When we lose one we love,
our bitterest tears are called forth
by the memory of hours when we loved not enough.
- Maurice Maeterlinck
An injured friend is the bitterest of foes.
- Thomas Jefferson
Never cease loving a person, and never give up hope for him,
for even the prodigal son who had fallen most low,
could still be saved; the bitterest enemy
and also he who was your friend could again be your friend;
love that has grown cold can kindle
- Soren Kierkegaard
I am sorry to think that you do not get a man's
most effective criticism until you provoke him.
Severe truth is expressed with some bitterness.
- Henry David Thoreau
I wrap the potential for bitterness,
resentment, martyrdom in the blanket of forgiveness
and just set it down.
Then it just melts in the warmth. And goes away.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
It is hardly possible to build anything,
if frustration, bitterness and a mood of helplessness prevail.
- Lech Walesa
Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Forgiveness is not a one time thing.
Forgiveness must be practiced again and again in different ways
because we may find many dimensions to the wrongs we have suffered.
Bitterness and resentment are like weeds that can continue to pop up
until we have plucked out the last plant by its roots
and extinguished the last seed.
We must carefully tend the garden of our mind and soul,
lest we be overrun by the weeds of bitterness and regret.
- Carly Foster
I am the owner of my choices.
I am the source for the perspectives I choose to hold...
regardless of how aware I am of why or how I come to possess
that particular perspective.
It takes courage to look into the mirror of our souls, absent excuses.
I will look into that mirror little bits at a time.
SEE and ACT. SEE what I can bear to see and ACT upon what I am able.
This is the heart of a gentle invitation to personal responsibility.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain
"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
The wine of youth does not always
clear with advancing years;
sometimes it grows turbid.
- Carl Jung
Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone
I love not to mix with it.
- Thomas Jefferson
A ship in harbor is safe -
but that is not what ships are for.
- John A. Shedd
Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde
We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright
Though I am a servant, I am not your servant.
- Ursula K. Le Guin
Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot
I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.