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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Bits Quotes
Funny Quotes about Bits

Let these funny Bits Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I am the owner of my choices.
I am the source for the perspectives I choose to hold...
regardless of how aware I am of why or how I come to possess
that particular perspective.
It takes courage to look into the mirror of our souls, absent excuses.
I will look into that mirror little bits at a time.
SEE and ACT. SEE what I can bear to see and ACT upon what I am able.
This is the heart of a gentle invitation to personal responsibility.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

We have always found the Irish a bit odd.
They refuse to be English.
- Winston Churchill

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- George Carlin

Most truths are so naked
that people feel sorry for them
and cover them up,
at least a little bit.
- Edward R. Murrow


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I am merely a bit player in your stories,
as you are merely a bit player in mine.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To leave the world a bit better ...
to know that one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Today's acorns grow into the oak trees of thirty years hence.
But what acorns are we sowing today?
Imagine what an acorn-sized bit of prejudice or hatred would grow into.
Imagine what an acorn-sized bit of pollution can become.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

You are important. You are the star -
the only star - of your own life show.
Everyone else is a bit player in the great drama of your life.
Be of service to humanity, but never be anyone's doormat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store.
What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.
- Dr. Seuss

If a friend of mine gave a feast, and did not invite me to it,
I should not mind a bit.
but if a friend of mine had a sorrow
and refused to allow me to share it,
I should feel it most bitterly.
If he shut the doors of the house of mourning against me,
I would move back again and again and beg to be admitted
so that I might share in what I was entitled to share.
If he thought me unworthy, unfit to weep with him,
I should feel it as the most poignant humiliation.
- Oscar Wilde

Through Qigong, one learns to quiet the mind
and allow communion with the One.
We call the One "Tao," but you may be more comfortable
with a term like "Holy Spirit," or "God,"
as long as you don't start visualizing
an old man on a throne floating in the sky.
The One is everything, and everything is the One.
Each of us is the One, and the One is inside each of us.
Just remember that it's an infinity thing -
the tiniest bit of infinity is still infinite.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson

People can be more forgiving than you can imagine.
But you have to forgive yourself.
Let go of what's bitter and move on.
- Bill Cosby

I am neither bitter nor cynical but I do wish
there was less immaturity in political thinking.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

I must dedicate my life to teaching my people,
for only education would make their lot less bitter,
their latent power more strong.
- Jimmy Yen

Experience life in all possible ways -
good-bad, bitter-sweet, dark-light, summer-winter.
Experience all the dualities.
Don't be afraid of experience,
because the more experience you have,
the more mature you become.
- Osho

Your pain is the breaking of the shell
that encloses your understanding.
Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the
physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink
his remedy in silence and tranquility.
- Khalil Gibran

Let the word go forth from this time and place,
to friend and foe alike,
that the torch has been passed
to a new generation of Americans -
born in this century, tempered by war,
disciplined by a hard and bitter peace.
- John F. Kennedy

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain

When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland

I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket

Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
- Mark Twain

Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek

The Lord prefers common-looking people.
That is why he makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

Most people's historical perspective
begins with the day of their birth.
- Rush Limbaugh

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright

The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett

There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi

People who want to share their religious views with you
almost never want you to share yours with them.
- Dave Barry

Common looking people are the best in the world:
that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

You can safely assume that you've
created God in your own image
when it turns out that God hates
all the same people you do.
- Anne Lamott

The whole problem with the world is that
fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves,
but wiser people so full of doubts.
- Bertrand Russell

Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Interesting.
You Earth people glorify organized violence for 40 centuries,
but you imprison those who employ it privately.
- the character Spock in the television series Star Trek

People say conversation is a lost art;
how often I have wished it were.
- Edward R. Murrow

An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it.
- Don Marquis

I was wise enough to never grow up
while fooling most people into believing I had.
- Margaret Mead

People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

History is the version of past events
that people have decided to agree upon.
- Napoleon Bonaparte

The most important service rendered
by the press and the magazines
is that of educating people
to approach printed matter with distrust.
- Samuel Butler

Join the army. Visit strange and exotic places.
Meet fascinating people. And kill them.
- Anonymous

Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money
they don't have for something they don't need.
- Will Rogers

When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie

Always do the right thing.
It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
- Mark Twain

I only wish that ordinary people
had an unlimited capacity for doing harm;
then they might have an unlimited power for doing good.
- Socrates

Unless they share our opinions,
we seldom find people sensible.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

To go against the dominant thinking of your friends,
of most of the people you see every day,
is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain

In religion and politics, people's belief's and convictions
are in almost every case gotten at second hand,
and without examination
- Mark Twain

People living their lives for you on TV;
They say they're better than you, and you agree.
- Jewel

Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people
by the people for the people.
- Oscar Wilde

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein

Thinking is what most people resort to after all else fails.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Religion is regarded by the common people as true,
by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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