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Let these funny Betrays Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Intolerance betrays want of faith in one's cause.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Betrayal betrays the betrayer.
- Erica Jong
Those who have come here to hate should leave now;
for in their hate, they only betray themselves.
- Terry Goodkind
Mind what people do, not only what they say,
for deeds will betray a lie.
- Terry Goodkind
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Every man has his own courage,
and is betrayed because he seeks in himself
the courage of other persons.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Love comes to those who still hope
even though they've been disappointed,
to those who still believe
even though they've been betrayed,
to those who still love
even though they've been hurt before.
- Anonymous
Most of us believe that we have
been betrayed by someone outside of us -
in other words someone has done something to hurt us,
been dishonest or broken a promise made:
some trust in some concept was broken.
Indeed someone may have taken an action
that took only their needs into consideration,
they may have not followed through on a promise made,
and they may have not told you the truth.
But their actions have nothing to do with you
and have everything to do with them.
That's why no one can do anything TO you.
They can take actions that involve you that you may not like -
according to your point of view.
But you are not a victim, no way, no how.
- Sheri Rosenthal
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I
The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot
Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh
The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson
A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau
It appears to be a law that you cannot have
a deep sympathy with both man and nature.
- Henry David Thoreau
Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken
Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead
Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter
If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.