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Funny Benefits Quotes
Funny Quotes about Benefits

Let these funny Benefits Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I have found that among its other benefits,
giving liberates the soul of the giver.
- Maya Angelou

If you're totally illiterate and living on one dollar a day,
the benefits of globalization never come to you.
- Jimmy Carter

The sage does not hoard.
The more he helps others, the more he benefits himself,
Having bestowed all he has on others, he has yet more;
having given all he has to others, he is richer still.
- Lao Tzu

One cannot have wisdom without perspective,
but once gaining perspective, one attains wisdom.
Wisdom is the ability to view every situation
as each person who is in any way affected
by that situation might view it.
Wisdom benefits from having a knowledge of history,
and therefore a historical perspective,
as well from as having the perspective of imagination -
the realm of the what-might-be
inhabited by futurists and science-fiction writers.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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The brightest stars are those who
shine for the benefit of others.
- Anonymous

The desire of gold is not for gold.
It is for the means of freedom and benefit.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

For every benefit you receive a tax is levied.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


 

The River of Life flows without emotion.
The River surges. The River quiets.
The River overflows its banks. The River dries to a trickle.
The River swirls and storms. The River becomes calm.
The River runs clear. The River runs dark with silt.
The River is indifferent to what benefit
or what harm is caused by its water.
The River is the River, and that is all there is to it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The darkest night is often the bridge to the brightest tomorrow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

True Love burns the brightest,
But the brightest flames leave the deepest scars.
- Anonymous

I find hope in the darkest of days,
and focus in the brightest.
I do not judge the universe.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Know that the darkest night is often
the bridge to the brightest tomorrow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When It's Darkest, Men See the Stars.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is darkest just before the dawn.
- Proverb

Even from the darkest night songs of beauty can be born.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The ending of a job or a relationship
may appear as the darkest night,
but it is merely the Winter season -
the time of renewal and rebirth
that precedes the new planting -
the beginning of the next great cycle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Women want mediocre men,
and men are working to be as mediocre as possible.
- Margaret Mead

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner

Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste
the sky as well as the earth.
- Henry David Thoreau

Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.
- George Washington

If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus

Force always attracts men of low morality.
- Albert Einstein

I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I

Men have become the tools of their tools.
- Henry David Thoreau

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau

She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac.
Doctors think she may be faking.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
- Marilyn Monroe

I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard

In every society some men are born to rule,
and some to advise.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

My plan was to kiss her with every lip on my face.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek

It has always been a mystery to me
how men can feel themselves honored
by the humiliation of their fellow beings.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions.
- Leonardo da Vinci

It is an interesting question how far men
would retain their relative rank
if they were divested of their clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau

Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power.
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely
only after they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban

The means by which we live have outdistanced
the ends for which we live.
Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power.
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

While civilization has been improving our houses,
it has not equally improved
the men who are to inhabit them.
It has created palaces, but it was
not so easy to create noblemen and kings.
- Henry David Thoreau

Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller

The only thing necessary for evil to triumph
is for enough good men to do nothing.
- Edmund Burke

Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln

It is not work that kills men; it is worry.
Worry is rust upon the blade.
- Henry Ward Beecher

The revelation of thought takes men
out of servitude into freedom.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Who never walks save where he sees
men's tracks, makes no discoveries.
- J. G. Holland

The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
- Henry David Thoreau

Every kind of peaceful cooperation among men
is primarily based on mutual trust
and only secondarily on institutions
such as courts of justice and police.
- Albert Einstein

It takes time to persuade men to do even
what is for their own good.
- Thomas Jefferson

A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully
as when they do it from religious conviction.
- Blaise Pascal

We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl

One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men.
No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.
- Elbert Hubbard

My heart bleeds at the death of every one of our gallant men.
- Robert E. Lee

The problems of the world cannot possibly
be solved by skeptics or cynics
whose horizons are limited by the obvious realities.
We need men who can dream of things that never were.
- John F. Kennedy

I look only to the good qualities of men.
Not being faultless myself,
I won't presume to probe into the faults of others.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Men in general judge more from
appearances than from reality. All
men have eyes, but few have
the gift of penetration.
- Niccolo Machiavelli

We will not be driven by fear into an age of unreason
if we dig deep in our history and remember
that we are not descended from fearful men,
not from men who feared to write, to speak,
to associate and to defend causes
which were for the moment unpopular.
- Edward R. Murrow

If we take the generally accepted definition of bravery
as a quality which knows no fear, I have never seen a brave man.
All men are frightened. The more intelligent they are,
the more they are frightened.
- George S. Patton

Real friendships among men are so rare
that when they occur they are famous.
- Clarence Day

We believe that if men have the talent
to invent new machines that put men out of work,
they have the talent to put those men back to work.
- John F. Kennedy

The politician in my country seeks votes,
affection and respect, in that order.
With few notable exceptions,
they are simply men who want to be loved.
- Edward R. Murrow

The majority of men meet with failure
because of their lack of persistence
in creating new plans to take
the place of those which fail.
- Napoleon Hill

The highest proof of the spirit is love.
Love is the eternal thing which men can already
on earth possess as it really is.
- Albert Schweitzer

Nothing astonishes men so much as common sense and plain dealing.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died.
Rather we should thank God that such men lived.
- George S. Patton

How could man rejoice in victory
and delight in the slaughter of men?
- Lao Tzu

Men occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of them pick themselves up
and hurry off as if nothing had happened.
- Winston Churchill


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.