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Let these funny Beneficent Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
I cannot persuade myself that a
beneficent and omnipotent God
would have designedly created parasitic wasps
with the express intention of their feeding
within the living bodies of caterpillars.
- Charles Darwin
We return thanks to our mother,
the earth, which sustains us.
We return thanks to the rivers and streams
which supply us with water.
We return thanks to all herbs, which furnish medicines
for the cure of our diseases.
We return thanks to the corn, and to her sisters,
the beans and squashes, which give us life.
We return thanks to the bushes and trees,
which provide us with fruit.
We return thanks to the wind,
which, moving the air, has banished diseases.
We return thanks to the moon and the stars,
which have given us their light when the sun was gone.
We return thanks to our grandfather He-no,
that he has protected his grandchildren from witches and reptiles,
and has given us his rain.
We return thanks to the sun,
that he has looked upon the earth with a beneficent eye.
Lastly, we return thanks to the Great Spirit,
in whom is embodied all goodness,
and who directs all things for the good of his children.
- Iroquois traditional
Discourage litigation.
Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can.
As a peacemaker the lawyer has
superior opportunity of being a good man.
There will still be business enough.
- Abraham Lincoln
It takes time to persuade men to do even
what is for their own good.
- Thomas Jefferson
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I would rather try to persuade a man to go along,
because once I have persuaded him, he will stick.
If I scare him, he will stay just as long
as he is scared, and then he is gone.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Our ordinary mind always tries to persuade us
that we are nothing but acorns
and that our greatest happiness will be
to become bigger, fatter, shinier acorns;
but that is of interest only to pigs.
Our faith gives us knowledge of something better:
that we can become oak trees.
- E. F. Schumacher
Don't give up. There are too many nay-sayers out there
who will try to discourage you.
Don't listen to them.
The only one who can make you give up is yourself.
- Sidney Sheldon
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
Every spirit makes its house,
and we can give a shrewd guess
from the house to the inhabitant.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.
- Oscar Wilde
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- Anonymous
Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius
Oh, you weak, beautiful people
who give up with such grace.
What you need is someone to take hold of you -
gently, with love, and hand your life back to you.
- Tennessee Williams
Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Give me the luxuries of life
and I will willingly do without the necessities.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
He who can take advice is sometimes superior
to him who can give it.
- Erica Jong
You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is more agreeable to have the power to give than to receive.
- Winston Churchill
If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields
All gods are homemade, and it is we who pull their strings,
and so, give them the power to pull ours.
- Aldous Huxley
Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One can not reflect in streaming water.
Only those who know internal peace can give it to others.
- Lao Tzu
Give thanks for the rain in your life
which waters the flowers of your soul.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
She drove me to drink.
That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
- the movie Never Give a Sucker an Even Break
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde
It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations...
The quotations, when engraved upon the memory, give you good thoughts.
They also make you anxious to read the authors and look for more.
- Winston Churchill
Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation.
- Dale Carnegie
I give thanks for both my bloom and my thorns.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln
Give me your tired, your poor,
your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.
- written on the Statue of Liberty in New York harbor
You have to accept whatever comes
and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage
and with the best that you have to give.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.
- John D. Rockefeller
I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving -
I have gratitude for EVERYTHING
that has ever occurred to bring me to this moment.
I give thanks for the joys and the sufferings,
the moments of peace and the flashes of anger,
the compassion and the indifference,
the roar of my courage and the cold sweat of my fear.
I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To give up yourself without regret is the greatest charity.
- Bodhidharma
A new command I give you: Love one another.
As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
- Jesus of Nazareth (John 13:34)
Our opportunity is to Soar our Spirit.
To see Light and Joy in everything.
To spread our wings and fly boldly.
To give thanks for rainbows and butterflies -
our symbols of renewal and rebirth.
To offer daily Thanksgiving - for ourselves, our family,
our friends, our community, for the whole world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is neither wealth nor splendor;
but tranquility and occupation which give you happiness.
- Thomas Jefferson
I won't give up 'til goats sing and walruses fly.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Give a boy address and accomplishments
and you give him the mastery
of palaces and fortunes where he goes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If self-validation were our
most significant societal measure -
we would give trophies to ourselves.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
If you have zest and enthusiasm
you attract zest and enthusiasm.
Life does give back in kind.
- Norman Vincent Peale
Give somebody a gold star - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We all have our thorns. We, and Life, have our moments.
Life occurs before our morning coffee.
Life occurs in our bathrobe with our hair uncombed.
Bless and give thanks for All of Life - the bloom and the thorns.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up.
Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
- Michael Jordan
I Am One With Spirit and All Creation -
I give thanks for the unity of all creation
and for everything that has brought me to this moment.
I release my entire being to the gentle nurture of Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Don't give energy to perceived dislikes.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Never say goodbye when you still want to try,
never give up when you still feel you can't take it.
Never say you don't love the person anymore
when you can't let go.
- Anonymous
Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh, for the touch of a hand
and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love cures people - both the ones who give it
and the ones who receive it.
- Karl A. Menninger
We make a living by what we get.
We make a life by what we give.
- Winston Churchill
Violent means will give violent freedom.
That would be a menace to the world and to India herself.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
They who can give up essential liberty
to obtain a little temporary safety
deserve neither liberty nor safety.
- Benjamin Franklin
SPIRIT is the name we give to
the entirety of everything we can perceive
plus the entirety of everything
that is beyond our perception.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.
- Henry David Thoreau
You need to make a commitment,
and once you make it,
then life will give you some answers.
- Les Brown
The best way to keep your friends
is not to give them away.
- Wilson Mizner
He who can give thanks for little
will always find he has enough.
- Anonymous
The highest education is that which
does not merely give us information
but makes our life in harmony with all existence.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Luck marches with those who give their very best.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Our world is magnificent - all of it.
Rejoice and give thanks.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Books are the greatest gift one person can give another.
- Bono
Rather than worrying about the continuous stream of potential threats,
let us give thanks for our blessing of living in the eye-of-the-storm -
our protected refuge from the terrors
of fearsome dangers just outside our lives.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Quotations help us remember the simple yet profound truths
that give life perspective and meaning.
- Criswell Freeman
I try to give to the poor people for love
what the rich could get for money.
No, I wouldn't touch a leper for a thousand pounds;
yet I willingly cure him for the love of God.
- Mother Teresa
If there is anything that a man can do well,
I say let him do it. Give him a chance.
- Abraham Lincoln
If you would take, you must first give,
this is the beginning of intelligence.
- Lao Tzu
During life, none of us is 100% open to Spirit -
we have too much ego to do that.
Only at death do we give up our ego and completely open to Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.