Facebook share Tweet This Email this
Let these funny Believers Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
True believers just don't see things the way they are,
because if they did, they wouldn't be true believers anymore.
- Philip Caputo
Our honorable and worthy ancestors knew that the world was flat,
motionless, and the center of the universe.
They knew the human body could not withstand
the forces of traveling faster than 19 mph.
They knew that the way to salvation was
exorcising witches and slaying non-believers.
They knew that it was a mortal sin to marry
someone of a different skin color.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The believer's ray of light is the cynic's sunburn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I am a great believer in luck
and I find that the harder
I work the more I have of it.
- Thomas Jefferson
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
The self-assured believer is a greater sinner
in the eyes of God than the troubled disbeliever
- Soren Kierkegaard
I am a firm believer in the people.
If given the truth, they can be depended upon
to meet any national crisis.
The great point is to bring them the real facts.
- Abraham Lincoln
It's hard to believe, hard to be a believer,
when you see the way the things are in the world.
But I am a believer!
- Bono
I come from Ireland and I've seen the damage of religious warfare.
I am a believer. I don't wear the badge on the outside
but it is on the inside.
- Bono
We have only this moment,
sparkling like a star in our hand -
and melting like a snowflake.
- Marie B. Ray
Flowers... are a proud assertion that a ray of beauty
out-values all the utilities of the world.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
We are cups, constantly and quietly being filled.
The trick is, knowing how to tip ourselves over
and let the beautiful stuff out.
- Ray Bradbury
You have to know how to accept rejection, and reject acceptance.
- Ray Bradbury
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll
The attempt to combine wisdom and power
has only rarely been successful and then only for a short while.
- Albert Einstein
I always pass on good advice.
It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
Politics is almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous.
In war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times.
- Winston Churchill
The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin
Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller
Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain
Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie
Boys will be boys. And even that wouldn't matter
if only we could prevent girls from being girls.
- Anne Frank
There is no such thing as public opinion.
There is only published opinion.
- Winston Churchill
Nothing in life is to be feared.
It is only to be understood.
- Marie Curie
A doctor can bury his mistakes
but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
I believe totally in a Capitalist System,
I only wish that someone would try it.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Things may come to those who wait,
but only the things left by those who hustle.
- Abraham Lincoln
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin
The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb
The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
- Albert Einstein
The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill
Money is better than poverty,
if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen
Advertisements contain the only truths
to be relied on in a newspaper.
- Thomas Jefferson
I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely
only after they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban
If you want total security, go to prison.
There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on.
The only thing lacking... is freedom.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
You are only young once,
but you can stay immature indefinitely.
- Anonymous
Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham
I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel
Magic is natural to Wizards,
and only a little harder for the rest of us.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I only wish that ordinary people
had an unlimited capacity for doing harm;
then they might have an unlimited power for doing good.
- Socrates
Only dead fish swim with the stream.
- Anonymous
It is only the poor who pay cash,
and that not from virtue,
but because they are refused credit.
- Anatole France
Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein
Life is an adventure.
I can only wonder what treasure
awaits at the top of the path.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein
Friendship is born at that moment
when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis
Miracles are the natural way of the Universe -
our only job is to move our doubting minds aside
and let the miracles flow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Move out of your comfort zone. You can only
grow if you are willing to feel awkward and
uncomfortable when you try something new.
- Brian Tracy
Hate is never conquered by hate,
Hate is only conquered by love.
- The Buddha
Darkness cannot drive out darkness;
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate;
only love can do that.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
People only see what they are prepared to see.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If the only prayer you said in your whole life was,
Thank you, that would suffice.
- Meister Eckhart
Majority rule only works if you're also
considering individual rights,
because you can't have five wolves and one sheep
voting on what to have for dinner.
- Larry Flynt
You're only here for a short visit.
Don't hurry. Don't worry.
And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.
- Walter Hagen
There are no facts, only interpretations.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Thank you for visiting: Funny Believers Quotes - Funny Quotes about Believers.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.