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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Behavior Quotes
Funny Quotes about Behavior

Let these funny Behavior Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

It is an open question whether any behavior
based on fear of eternal punishment
can be regarded as ethical
or should be regarded as merely cowardly.
- Margaret Mead

Guilt is about actions or behavior;
while shame is about the self.
- "Dr. Sanity"

Campaign behavior for wives:
Always be on time.
Do as little talking as humanly possible.
Lean back in the parade car
so everybody can see the president.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Life cannot be lived fully or joyfully if
our thoughts are focused on regretting the past,
preoccupied with anticipating the future,
or lost in the mind-fog of unconscious habitual behavior.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

What is the appropriate behavior for a man or a woman
in the midst of this world,
where each person is clinging to his piece of debris?
What's the proper salutation between people
as they pass each other in this flood?
- The Buddha

If you have an emotional reaction in the presence of someone,
your heart is telling you that you have
not resolved your issues with them.
In other words, you have not truly forgiven that person.
All of this begs the question, how do we forgive?
First, cease lying to yourself and stop telling yourself stories
about why you behave the way you do.
Stop blaming your behavior on other people
and take responsibility for your emotional reactions.
If you could forgive all the people in your life
who have hurt or wounded you
it would be possible to be in control of your behavior
instead of being in reaction to other people all of the time.
Imagine living life without experiencing
a constant emotional roller-coaster of pain, anger, and jealousy!
That would be bliss!
- Sheri Rosenthal

Life change comes about in two complementary ways -
the "aha" moment, which occurs in a flash of insight;
and the conscious redesigning of habitual behaviors,
which is a lifelong project.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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Consider being more acceptive of your partner's behaviors.
It is unlikely that they are intentionally aggravating you.
Almost always, they are just doing what they think they should do.
Try setting aside your own rules for how they should behave,
and adopt a live-and-let-live attitude.
Your relationship will become stronger and happier if you do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our humanity rests upon a series of learned behaviors,
woven together into patterns that are infinitely fragile
and never directly inherited.
- Margaret Mead

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous

Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde

Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Happiness is a figment of the imagination.
Imagine happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Anyone who isn't confused,
really doesn't understand the situation.
- Edward R. Murrow

Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller

The life of inner peace,
being harmonious and without stress,
is the easiest type of existence.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)

Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If life is a bowl of cherries, then what am I doing in the pits?
- Erma Bombeck

It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda

We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

Any idiot can face a crisis.
It's the day-to-day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov

When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie

Bringing a childlike wonder
and a beginner's mind to life
maximizes both success and joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous

The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill

Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau

I never accepted the idea
that I had to be guided by
some pattern or blueprint.
- Little Richard

It is hard enough to remember my opinions,
without also remembering my reasons for them!
- Friedrich Nietzsche

In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin

Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde

I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Persevere. Plan. Strategize. Focus. Breathe. Write.
Let go: relax. Forgive. All this failing: take a nap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.