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Let these funny Beg Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Only strength can cooperate. Weakness can only beg.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
If a friend of mine gave a feast, and did not invite me to it,
I should not mind a bit.
but if a friend of mine had a sorrow
and refused to allow me to share it,
I should feel it most bitterly.
If he shut the doors of the house of mourning against me,
I would move back again and again and beg to be admitted
so that I might share in what I was entitled to share.
If he thought me unworthy, unfit to weep with him,
I should feel it as the most poignant humiliation.
- Oscar Wilde
If you have an emotional reaction in the presence of someone,
your heart is telling you that you have
not resolved your issues with them.
In other words, you have not truly forgiven that person.
All of this begs the question, how do we forgive?
First, cease lying to yourself and stop telling yourself stories
about why you behave the way you do.
Stop blaming your behavior on other people
and take responsibility for your emotional reactions.
If you could forgive all the people in your life
who have hurt or wounded you
it would be possible to be in control of your behavior
instead of being in reaction to other people all of the time.
Imagine living life without experiencing
a constant emotional roller-coaster of pain, anger, and jealousy!
That would be bliss!
- Sheri Rosenthal
Most people are more skilled at begging God than at thanking God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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In many ways, it is easier to be a good giver than a good receiver.
The giver chooses the gift and the timing.
More important, societal and religious traditions
tend to elevate the status of giver and lower the status of receiver.
When the Bible (Acts 20:32-35) speaks of it being
more blessed to give than to receive,
I believe that a better translation might be
"take" rather than "receive," as the context
of that passage is "coveting."
Certainly there is nothing blessed about coveting,
stealing, begging, or demanding,
however the skill of graciously receiving a freely offered gift
is another matter entirely.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket
The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
- Mark Twain
Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous
Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
The Lord prefers common-looking people.
That is why he makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek
Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon
"But I don't want to go among mad people," said Alice.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here."
- Lewis Carroll
Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous
Thinking is what most people resort to after all else fails.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Join the army. Visit strange and exotic places.
Meet fascinating people. And kill them.
- Anonymous
Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung
I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
- Charles M. Schulz
The whole problem with the world is that
fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves,
but wiser people so full of doubts.
- Bertrand Russell
A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Common looking people are the best in the world:
that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
In religion and politics, people's belief's and convictions
are in almost every case gotten at second hand,
and without examination
- Mark Twain
There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi
The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett
Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie
Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein
Unless they share our opinions,
we seldom find people sensible.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
History is the version of past events
that people have decided to agree upon.
- Napoleon Bonaparte
To go against the dominant thinking of your friends,
of most of the people you see every day,
is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White
People living their lives for you on TV;
They say they're better than you, and you agree.
- Jewel
Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
- Anonymous
Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers
Gods always behave like the people who make them.
- Zora Neale Hurston
He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha
Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people
by the people for the people.
- Oscar Wilde
Be smarter than other people, just don't tell them so.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
If you're going to tell people the truth,
be funny or they'll kill you.
- Billy Wilder
Might I perhaps win my wings?
I've been waiting for over 200 years now, sir,
and people ARE beginning to talk.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)
I only wish that ordinary people
had an unlimited capacity for doing harm;
then they might have an unlimited power for doing good.
- Socrates
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin
Most of what we call management consists of
making it difficult for people to get their work done.
- Peter F. Drucker
Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money
they don't have for something they don't need.
- Will Rogers
An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it.
- Don Marquis
Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield
People who are wrapped up in themselves make small packages.
- Benjamin Franklin
I was wise enough to never grow up
while fooling most people into believing I had.
- Margaret Mead
People who want to share their religious views with you
almost never want you to share yours with them.
- Dave Barry
The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
Religion is regarded by the common people as true,
by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
Always do the right thing.
It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
- Mark Twain
Do something wonderful, people may imitate it.
- Albert Schweitzer
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie
All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.