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Let these funny Barred Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
No one has been barred on account of his race
from fighting or dying for America,
there are no white or colored signs
on the foxholes or graveyards of battle.
- John F. Kennedy
It is always the simple that produces the marvelous.
- Amelia Barr
I was so jazzed about sobering up
and starting a new life;
I had to stop at a bar
to get a drink just to calm down.
- the television series Glee
An architect's most useful tools are
an eraser at the drafting board,
and a wrecking bar at the site.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
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We may have our private opinions
but why should they be a bar to the meeting of hearts?
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world
doesn't mean you are wiser
than when it reached only to the end of the bar.
- Edward R. Murrow
Not all Heroes wear capes.
- On an Apple Inc. "Genius Bar" T-shirt
The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip.
- Dave Barry
People who want to share their religious views with you
almost never want you to share yours with them.
- Dave Barry
No matter what happens, someone will find a way
to take it too seriously.
- Dave Barry
Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
- Dave Barry
A person who is nice to you,
but rude to the waiter,
is not a nice person.
- Dave Barry
Your friends love you anyway.
- Dave Barry
You should not confuse your career with your life.
- Dave Barry
When trouble arises and things look bad,
there is always one individual who perceives a solution
and is willing to take command.
Very often, that individual is crazy.
- Dave Barry
When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;
How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim Soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;
And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.
- William Butler Yeats
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
"Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
- Percy Bysshe Shelley
We are stripped bare by the curse of plenty.
- Winston Churchill
And on the pedestal these words appear:
`My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:
'Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!'
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
- Percy Bysshe Shelley
Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill
I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)
Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off
until the day after tomorrow what should
have been done the day before yesterday.
- Napoleon Hill
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
It is an open question whether any behavior
based on fear of eternal punishment
can be regarded as ethical
or should be regarded as merely cowardly.
- Margaret Mead
One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,
but with somebody else.
- Mae West
The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin
If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau
One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin
People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb
One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche
The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.
- Mel Brooks
Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous
The truth. It is a beautiful and terrible thing,
and should be treated with caution.
- J. K. Rowling
The Ought-To Need-To Tango:
I am racked with the guilt and the pain of I should,
and I ought, and I can't, but I must.
I can't rest; I can't sleep; I'm just not understood,
and I hate that the world is unjust.
I have work; I have woes; I have troubles for life;
but I don't have a ME that I trust.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is a great big canvas,
and you should throw all the paint you can on it.
- Danny Kaye
Everyone should carefully observe
which way his heart draws him,
and then choose that way with all his strength.
- Hasidic Proverb
You either do it completely and utterly,
or you should stop doing it.
- Bono (paraphrase)
The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy
is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet,
alone with the heavens, nature and God.
Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.
- Anne Frank
If a man is proud of his wealth,
he should not be praised until it is known how he employs it.
- Socrates
Old age has deformities enough of its own.
It should never add to them the deformity of vice.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Those who have come here to hate should leave now;
for in their hate, they only betray themselves.
- Terry Goodkind
I've learned that you should always
leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.
- Anonymous
If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple:
you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities
but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
- Quentin Crisp
Maybe I could have loved you better.
Maybe you should have loved me more.
Maybe our hearts were just next in line.
Maybe everything breaks sometime.
- Jewel
Man should forget his anger before he lies down to sleep.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
A friend should be a master at guessing and keeping still.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
The only way to store information is by agreement.
The belief system is like a Book of Law that rules our mind.
Our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive.
Humans punish themselves endlessly
for not being what they believe they should be.
We have the need to be accepted and to be loved by others,
but we cannot accept and love ourselves.
- don Miguel Ruiz
You should never be content with so little,
when you can reach out for something big.
- Charles L. Allen
(This quote is about making a big difference
in the world - not about greed)
It is one thing to say that something should be done,
but quite a different matter to do it.
- Aesop
Were it left to me to decide whether we should
have a government without newspapers,
or newspapers without a government,
I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter.
- Thomas Jefferson
The battle for the individual rights of women is one of long standing
and none of us should countenance anything which undermines it.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
There should be an honest attempt at the reconciliation
of differences before resorting to combat.
- Jimmy Carter
Books and friends should be few but good.
- Anonymous
Everyone should be respected as an individual,
but no one idolized.
- Albert Einstein
The value of a man should be seen in what he gives
and not in what he is able to receive.
- Albert Einstein
Faith keeps many doubts in her pay.
If I could not doubt, I should not believe.
- Henry David Thoreau
If there is one principle more deeply rooted
in the mind of every American,
it is that we should have nothing to do with conquest.
- Thomas Jefferson
Whatever your life's work is, do it well.
A man should do his job so well that the living,
the dead, and the unborn could do it no better.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Could we change our attitude,
we should not only see life differently,
but life itself would be different.
- Katherine Mansfield
Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is.
Treat a man as he can and should be,
and he will become as he can and should be.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.