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Let these funny Avarice Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
We are a puny and fickle folk.
Avarice, hesitation, and following are our diseases.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Ennui has made more gamblers than avarice,
more drunkards than thirst,
and perhaps as many suicides as despair.
- The Buddha
No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie 
The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation
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I do not want to foresee the future.
I am concerned with taking care of the present.
God has given me no control over the moment following.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The end of life is to be like God,
and the soul following God will be like Him.
- Socrates
Happiness isn't at the end of the rainbow.
Happiness is at the beginning of the rainbow.
Following the rainbow is happiness,
not getting to the end of it.
- Werner Erhard
From the way most people live,
one would never guess that humans are beings of free will.
Repetition can be a choice, but often it isn't.
The athlete or pianist who practices the same routine
day after day, year after year, has their eye on a goal.
The unending repetition is a conscious choice
in the pursuit of a life dream.
But what about the sameness of most lives?
Observe the morning commute, the after-work drink,
the Sunday football game or religious service -
how many of those people are consciously following their dream,
training their mind, body, and spirit through that daily repetition?
And how many are mindlessly slogging through each day
out of habit and boredom?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Balance activity with serenity,
wealth with simplicity,
persistence with innovation,
community with solitude,
familiarity with adventure,
constancy with change,
leading with following.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death
Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden
I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard
There is no such thing as public opinion.
There is only published opinion.
- Winston Churchill
You have no values. With you its all nihilism,
cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin
Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith
Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain
When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin
Experience keeps a dear school,
but fools will learn in no other.
- Benjamin Franklin
No problem is so formidable that
you can't walk away from it.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears,
for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
- Albert Einstein
Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln
It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell
There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
It has been my experience that folks who
have no vices, have very few virtues.
- Abraham Lincoln
The way to silence religious disputes is to take no notice of them.
- Thomas Jefferson
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice.
In practice there is.
- Yogi Berra
Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha
The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken
Random chance seems to have operated in our favor ...
there was no deity involved.
- Spock character in the Star Trek television series
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
- Mark Twain
Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain
Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance
and hypocritical humility.
I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
See no evil, Hear no evil, Speak no evil.
- Japanese pictorial maxim (the Three Wise Monkeys)
Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,
love leaves a memory no one can steal.
- From a headstone in Ireland
He who can no longer pause to wonder
and stand rapt in awe,
is as good as dead;
his eyes are closed.
- Albert Einstein
A good traveler has no fixed plans,
and is not intent on arriving.
- Lao Tzu
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.