Facebook share Tweet This Email this
Let these funny Avalanches Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
God has cared for these trees,
saved them from drought, disease, avalanches,
and a thousand tempests and floods.
But he cannot save them from fools.
- John Muir
I am prepared to meet my Maker.
Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal
of meeting me is another matter.
- Winston Churchill
You may call God love, you may call God goodness.
But the best name for God is compassion.
- Meister Eckhart
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is,
he's stuck with so many bad actors
who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories
Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh
We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
You can safely assume that you've
created God in your own image
when it turns out that God hates
all the same people you do.
- Anne Lamott
Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste
the sky as well as the earth.
- Henry David Thoreau
God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
- Voltaire
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
If it turns out that there IS a God,
I don't think that he's evil.
I think that the worst you can say about him
is that basically he's an underachiever.
- the movie Love and Death
God doesn't make junk.
- Anonymous
What does coffee and donuts have to do with God?
- the movie Simon Birch (1998)
If we were meant to be happy,
why did God create war, hunger, and the 11 o'clock news?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus
I tremble for my country when I reflect that God
is just; that his justice cannot sleep forever.
- Thomas Jefferson
God is at play,
I am his modeling clay.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We are all atheists about most of the gods
that societies have ever believed in.
Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins
God Loves an Open Mind, Clean Hands, and a Loving Heart.
So does Your Mother.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
Question with boldness even the existence of a God;
because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason,
than that of blind-folded fear.
- Thomas Jefferson
God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
God is a concept by which we measure our pain.
- John Lennon
I don't doubt God. I have firm faith absolutely in God.
It's religion I'm doubting.
- Bono
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Talent is God-given; be humble.
Fame is man-given; be thankful.
Conceit is self-given; be careful.
- John Wooden
God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
- Reinhold Niebuhr (Serenity Prayer)
From the solemn gloom of the temple
children run out to sit in the dust,
God watches them play and forgets the priest.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Mother is the name for God
in the lips and hearts of little children.
- William Makepeace Thackeray
The God of Children and Fools:
There once was a man way up high,
who sat on his chair in the sky.
he called down to fool us,
and said he would rule us,
until we woke up bye and bye.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To know God, watch a butterfly return to the same tree -
after a year and a thousand miles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I contend that we are both atheists.
I just believe in one fewer god than you do.
When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours.
- Stephen Roberts
When the vast cathedral of our being
becomes a sanctuary for all creation,
we become the face of God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I cannot persuade myself that a
beneficent and omnipotent God
would have designedly created parasitic wasps
with the express intention of their feeding
within the living bodies of caterpillars.
- Charles Darwin
Every child comes with the message
that God is not yet discouraged of man.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Stupidity is also a gift of God,
but one mustn't misuse it.
- Pope John Paul II
Infinite striving to be the best is man's duty;
it is its own reward.
Everything else is in God's hands.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
God has given you one face, and you make yourself another.
- William Shakespeare
There are people in the world so hungry,
that God cannot appear to them
except in the form of bread.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need
but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?
- 1 John 3:17
In great contests, each party claims to act
in accordance with the will of God.
Both may be, and one must be wrong.
- Abraham Lincoln
Because we believe that our ethnic group,
our society, our political party, our God,
is better than your God, we kill each other.
- Neale Donald Walsch
The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy
is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet,
alone with the heavens, nature and God.
Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.
- Anne Frank
Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh, for the touch of a hand
and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I have lost my seven best friends,
which is to say that God has had mercy on me
seven times without realizing it.
He lent a friendship, took it from me, and sent me another.
- Jean Cocteau
It takes a long while for a naturally trustful person
to reconcile himself to the idea that
after all God will not help him
- H. L. Mencken
Each one prays to God according to his own light.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Without music, life would be a mistake...
I would only believe in a God who knew how to dance.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Most people are more skilled at begging God than at thanking God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Before the throne of the Almighty,
man will be judged not by his acts but by his intentions.
For God alone reads our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Every creature is a word of God.
- Meister Eckhart
We see God face to face every hour,
and know the savor of Nature.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
There is One Infinite Mind,
which of necessity includes all that is,
whether it be the intelligence in man,
the life in the animal,
or the invisible Presence which is God.
- Ernest Holmes
Each one of us is an outlet to God
and an inlet to God.
- Ernest Holmes
Work Hard. Do your best. Keep your word.
Never get too big for your britches.
Trust in God. Have no fear;
and Never forget a friend.
- Harry S. Truman
God has entrusted me with myself.
- Epictetus
I do not believe in the God of theology
who rewards good and punishes evil.
- Albert Einstein
I'm not religious at all,
but I believe in God very strongly.
- Bono
Believe that none of the effort you put
into coming closer to God is ever wasted -
even if in the end you don't achieve
what you are striving for.
- Rebbe Nachman of Breslov
Today is my day to see in myself the face of god.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The cathedral of my God of no church
is the entirety of the universe.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The manifest universe is the body of God ...
all people are incarnations of the One Spirit.
- Ernest Holmes
It does me no injury for my neighbor to say
there are twenty gods or no God.
- Thomas Jefferson
If I am capable of grasping God objectively,
I do not believe, but precisely because
I cannot do this I must believe.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Morality is of the highest importance -
but for us, not for God.
- Albert Einstein
When you have shut your doors, and darkened your room,
remember, never to say that you are alone,
for you are not alone, but God is within,
and your genius is within.
- Epictetus
You don't choose your family.
They are God's gift to you, as you are to them.
- Desmond Tutu
God is a metaphor for that which transcends
all levels of intellectual thought.
It's as simple as that.
- Joseph Campbell
But for my faith in God, I should have been a raving maniac.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Thank you for visiting: Funny Avalanches Quotes - Funny Quotes about Avalanches.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.