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Funny Atheism Quotes
Funny Quotes about Atheism

Let these funny Atheism Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin

Atheism shows strength of mind, but only to a certain degree.
- Blaise Pascal

Atheism is the last word of theism.
- Heinrich Heine

There is no being eloquent for atheism.
In that exhausted receiver the mind cannot use its wings,
- the clearest proof that it is out of its element.
- Augustus Hare


 

Our program necessarily includes the propaganda of atheism.
- Vladimir Lenin

Selfishness is the only real atheism;
aspiration,
unselfishness, the only real religion.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

No philosophy, no religion, has ever brought so glad
a message to the world as this good news of Atheism.
- Annie Besant


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The more thoroughly I conduct scientific research,
the more I believe that science excludes atheism.
- Lord Kelvin

The very idea of carrying my memory into eternity devastated me,
and I took refuge in atheism.
- Taylor Caldwell

To be an atheist requires an indefinitely greater measure
of faith than to recieve all the great truths which atheism would deny.
- Joseph Addison

I have a great love and respect for religion,
great love and respect for atheism.
What I hate is agnosticism, people who do not choose.
- Orson Welles

My atheism, like that of Spinoza, is true piety towards
the universe and denies only gods fashioned by men in their own image,
to be servants of their human interests.
- George Santayana

Atheism is aristocratic; the idea of a great Being
that watches over oppressed innocence and punishes
triumphant crime is altogether popular.
- Maximilien Robespierre

It is not the Head but the Heart that is the Seat of Atheism.
- Mary Astell

Selfishness is the only real atheism;
unselfishness the only real religion.
- Israel Zangwill

Small amounts of philosophy lead to atheism,
but larger amounts bring us back to God.
- Francis Bacon

The devil divides the world between atheism and superstition.
- George Herbert

A little philosophy inclineth man's mind to atheism,
but depth in philosophy bringeth men's minds about to religion.
- Francis Bacon

If there is a God, atheism must seem to Him as less
of an insult than religion.
- Edmond de Goncourt

Unhappy, let alone angry, religious people provide
more persuasive arguments for atheism and secularism
than do all the arguments of atheists.
- Dennis Prager

We aim in the domain of politics at republicanism;
in the domain of economics at socialism;
in the domain of what is today called religion,
at atheism.
- August Bebel

If atheism is to be used to express the state of mind
in which God is identified with the unknowable,
and theology is pronounced to be a collection of meaningless
words about unintelligible chimeras,
then I have no doubt, and I think few people doubt.
- Leslie Stephen

But after he was pleased to reveal himself to me I did presently,
like Abraham, run to Hagar.
And after that he did let me see the atheism of my own heart,
for which I begged of the Lord that it might not remain in my heart.
- Anne Hutchinson

All theory of modernity in sociology suggests that
the more modernity there is,
the less religion.
In my theory we can realize that this is wrong:
atheism is only one belief system among many.
- Ulrich Beck

The only theism worthy of our respect believes in God
not because of the way the world is made but in spite of that.
The only theism that is no less profound than the Buddha's
atheism is that represented in the Bible by Job and Jeremiah.
- Walter Kaufmann

The major obstacle to a religious renewal is the intellectual classes,
who are highly influential and tend to view religion
as primitive superstition.
They believe that science has left atheism as the only
respectable intellectual stance.
- Robert Bork

Our honorable and worthy ancestors knew that the world was flat,
motionless, and the center of the universe.
They knew the human body could not withstand
the forces of traveling faster than 19 mph.
They knew that the way to salvation was
exorcising witches and slaying non-believers.
They knew that it was a mortal sin to marry
someone of a different skin color.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

"I" is a non-stop storyteller, spinning tales
of the past, the present and the future -
constantly editing, interpreting
and directing this inner movie.
- Josh Baran

The Tao of the sage is work without effort.
Practice non-action. Work without doing.
- Lao Tzu

My religion is based on truth and non-violence.
Truth is my God. Non-violence is the means of realizing Him.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Non-violence requires a double faith,
faith in God and also faith in man.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Non-violence is not a garment to be put on and off at will.
Its seat is in the heart,
and it must be an inseparable part of our being.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

A weak man is just by accident.
A strong but non-violent man is unjust by accident.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

When I find that I can't accept what is happening,
I turn my attention to accepting my non-acceptance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

This is God's world, not Satan's.
Christians are the lawful heirs, not non-Christians.
- Gary North

Non-violence and truth are inseparable and presuppose one another.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Non-violence means avoiding not only external physical violence
but also internal violence of spirit.
You not only refuse to shoot a man,
but you refuse to hate him.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Non-violence is the first article of my faith.
It is also the last article of my creed.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Health is the greatest possession.
Contentment is the greatest treasure.
Confidence is the greatest friend.
Non-being is the greatest joy.
- Lao Tzu

Non-violence is the article of faith.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Non-violence is the greatest force at the disposal of mankind.
It is mightier than the mightiest weapon of destruction
devised by the ingenuity of man.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

My desire is to be a forgiving, non-judgmental person.
- Janine Turner

Non-cooperation with evil is as much a duty as is cooperation with good.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

If co-operation is a duty, I hold that non-co-operation
also under certain conditions is equally a duty.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I have nothing new to teach the world.
Truth and Non-violence are as old as the hills.
All I have done is to try experiments
in both on as vast a scale as I could.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Anger is the enemy of non-violence
and pride is a monster that swallows it up.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The moment you start seeing life
as non-serious, a playfulness,
all the burden on your heart disappears.
All the fear of death, of life,
of love - everything disappears.
- Osho

Non-violence, which is the quality of the heart,
cannot come by an appeal to the brain.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The largest party in America, by the way,
is neither the Democrats nor the Republicans.
It's the party of non-voters.
- Robert Reich

Non-violence is a powerful and just weapon which cuts without wounding
and ennobles the man who wields it. It is a sword that heals.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The Tao abides in non-action,
Yet nothing is left undone.
- Lao Tzu

At the center of non-violence stands the principle of love.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Besides the noble art of getting things done,
there is the noble art of leaving things undone.
The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.
- Lin Yutang

Anger is something that each one of us has experienced -
some of us only occasionally, some almost daily.
Can we eliminate all anger? Probably not.
We will always have expectations,
and those expectations will often be unmet.
Disappointment is the principle cause of anger.
When we are disappointed, we look for someone to blame.
Declaring someone to be at fault is the nature of anger.
Anger is always directed at someone -
possibly toward God or the non-specific "they,"
but at some animate entity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Such lifestyle factors such as cigarette smoking,
excessive alcohol consumption, little physical activity
and low dietary calcium intake are risk factors for
osteoporosis as well as for many other non-communicable diseases.
- Gro Harlem Brundtland

My career seems to be a career of non-specific subjects
which are all over the place.
- Ridley Scott

There is no such thing as defeat in non-violence.
- Cesar Chavez

The intrusions of the white race and the non-
compliance with treaty obligations have been followed
by atrocities that could alone satisfy a savage and revengeful spirit.
- Nelson A. Miles

During the Second World War, evacuated to non-Jewish households,
I encountered Christianity at home and in school.
- Lionel Blue

The issues and challenges surrounding nuclear non-proliferation
are continuously evolving.
They've changed dramatically at several junctures in recent memory.
- Spencer Abraham

Rule A: Don't.
Rule A1: Rule A doesn't exist.
Rule A2: Do not discuss the existence or non-existence of Rules A,
A1 or A2.
- R. D. Laing

It is, therefore, a fact that anybody who wants to
realise Truth or who wants to be humane,
must follow non-violent ways of life,
otherwise he will not be able to reach the Truth.
- Morarji Desai

I thin many people's deviant behavior starts with dreams
because dreams are so non-linear...
as if there's an assumption that everything has to
be linear or has to be plotted.
- Robyn Hitchcock

Nothing requires a greater effort of thought than arguments
to justify the rule of non-thought.
- Milan Kundera

Non-democratic regimes always need to mobilize their
people against external enemies in order to maintain internal stability.
- Natan Sharansky

States can be deterred by the fear of retaliation;
non-state organisations cannot by deterred at all.
- John Bruton

I believe that this is a different war than America
has ever fought in the past.
It is a non-conventional war.
It means that you've got to use every tool you've got available to you.
- Hugh Shelton

We are here predominantly to support independent filmmakers and their needs.
We are also here to assist people actually in their production,
non-commercial people in their production.
- Ann Macbeth

I have not had any serious non-academic job.
- Amartya Sen

The reading or non-reading a book will never keep down a single petticoat.
- George Byron

Good taste is the first refuge of the non-creative.
It is the last-ditch stand of the artist.
- Marshall McLuhan


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