Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z

Funny Atheism Quotes
Funny Quotes about Atheism

Let these funny Atheism Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin

Our honorable and worthy ancestors knew that the world was flat,
motionless, and the center of the universe.
They knew the human body could not withstand
the forces of traveling faster than 19 mph.
They knew that the way to salvation was
exorcising witches and slaying non-believers.
They knew that it was a mortal sin to marry
someone of a different skin color.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

"I" is a non-stop storyteller, spinning tales
of the past, the present and the future -
constantly editing, interpreting
and directing this inner movie.
- Josh Baran

I have nothing new to teach the world.
Truth and Non-violence are as old as the hills.
All I have done is to try experiments
in both on as vast a scale as I could.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


If co-operation is a duty, I hold that non-co-operation
also under certain conditions is equally a duty.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Non-violence means avoiding not only external physical violence
but also internal violence of spirit.
You not only refuse to shoot a man,
but you refuse to hate him.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way:
on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn


 

Non-cooperation with evil is as much a duty as is cooperation with good.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Non-violence is a powerful and just weapon which cuts without wounding
and ennobles the man who wields it. It is a sword that heals.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Non-violence and truth are inseparable and presuppose one another.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The Tao of the sage is work without effort.
Practice non-action. Work without doing.
- Lao Tzu

Anger is the enemy of non-violence
and pride is a monster that swallows it up.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Non-violence is not a garment to be put on and off at will.
Its seat is in the heart,
and it must be an inseparable part of our being.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

At the center of non-violence stands the principle of love.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Non-violence requires a double faith,
faith in God and also faith in man.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Non-violence is the greatest force at the disposal of mankind.
It is mightier than the mightiest weapon of destruction
devised by the ingenuity of man.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Practice moment to moment non-judgemental awareness.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

Health is the greatest possession.
Contentment is the greatest treasure.
Confidence is the greatest friend.
Non-being is the greatest joy.
- Lao Tzu

The Tao abides in non-action,
Yet nothing is left undone.
- Lao Tzu

Besides the noble art of getting things done,
there is the noble art of leaving things undone.
The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.
- Lin Yutang

The moment you start seeing life
as non-serious, a playfulness,
all the burden on your heart disappears.
All the fear of death, of life,
of love - everything disappears.
- Osho

Non-violence is the first article of my faith.
It is also the last article of my creed.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

A weak man is just by accident.
A strong but non-violent man is unjust by accident.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

My religion is based on truth and non-violence.
Truth is my God. Non-violence is the means of realizing Him.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Non-violence is the article of faith.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

When I find that I can't accept what is happening,
I turn my attention to accepting my non-acceptance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Non-violence, which is the quality of the heart,
cannot come by an appeal to the brain.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Simply put, mindfulness is moment-to-moment non-judgmental awareness.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

Anger is something that each one of us has experienced -
some of us only occasionally, some almost daily.
Can we eliminate all anger? Probably not.
We will always have expectations,
and those expectations will often be unmet.
Disappointment is the principle cause of anger.
When we are disappointed, we look for someone to blame.
Declaring someone to be at fault is the nature of anger.
Anger is always directed at someone -
possibly toward God or the non-specific "they,"
but at some animate entity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

Nothing is more cheerful than talking
about our friends' shortcomings.
- Mason Cooley

I personally think we developed language
because of our deep need to complain.
- Lily Tomlin

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

It is our choices ... that show what we truly are,
far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling (Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets)

Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.
- Oscar Wilde

Unless they share our opinions,
we seldom find people sensible.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation

Our faith comes in moments; our vice is habitual.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.
- Marianne Williamson

We are always paid for our suspicion by finding what we suspect.
- Henry David Thoreau

We are a puny and fickle folk.
Avarice, hesitation, and following are our diseases.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

In all matters of opinion,
our adversaries are insane.
- Oscar Wilde

All our dreams can come true,
if we have the courage to pursue them.
- Walt Disney

The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything
save our modes of thinking
and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.
- Albert Einstein

Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power.
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Law of Contrariness:
Our chief want in life is somebody
who shall make us do what we can.
Having found them, we shall then hate them for it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin

Random chance seems to have operated in our favor ...
there was no deity involved.
- Spock character in the Star Trek television series

Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

God is a concept by which we measure our pain.
- John Lennon

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron

Confusion of goals and perfection of means seems,
in my opinion, to characterize our age.
- Albert Einstein

The means by which we live have outdistanced
the ends for which we live.
Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power.
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

While civilization has been improving our houses,
it has not equally improved
the men who are to inhabit them.
It has created palaces, but it was
not so easy to create noblemen and kings.
- Henry David Thoreau

Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives.
I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends
and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that.
That's what's insane about it.
- John Lennon

Our faith gives us knowledge of something better.
- E. F. Schumacher

Those who won our independence...
valued liberty as an end and as a means.
They believed liberty to be the secret of happiness
and courage to be the secret of liberty.
- Louis D. Brandeis

We cannot choose our external circumstances,
but we can always choose how to respond to them.
- Epictetus

Sometimes I wonder if we shall ever grow up
in our politics and say definite things which mean something,
or whether we shall always go on using generalities
to which everyone can subscribe, and which mean very little.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Soon we'll be out amid the cold world's strife.
Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life.
But as we go our sordid sep'rate ways,
We shall ne'er forget thee, thou golden college days.
Hearts full of youth,
Hearts full of truth,
Six parts gin to one part vermouth.
- Tom Lehrer - song: Bright College Days,
album: An Evening Wasted With Tom Lehrer

When the vast cathedral of our being
becomes a sanctuary for all creation,
we become the face of God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

"Hurry up" ranks right up there with "you need to"
as a destroyer of our humanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We have only this moment,
sparkling like a star in our hand -
and melting like a snowflake.
- Marie B. Ray

Our Joy comes from living our own lives simply -
never from demanding that others live simply -
or from ever making any demands whatsoever upon others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha

As we work to create light for others,
we naturally light our own way.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Miracles are the natural way of the Universe -
our only job is to move our doubting minds aside
and let the miracles flow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We all live with the objective of being happy;
our lives are all different and yet the same.
- Anne Frank


Thank you for visiting: Funny Atheism Quotes - Funny Quotes about Atheism.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.