Funny Assumption Quotes - Funny Quotes about Assumption

Funny Assumption Quotes
Funny Quotes about Assumption

Let these funny Assumption Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Often, we get stuck on a question
for which we can't find an acceptable answer.
That is a good time to consider asking a different question.
Every question is based on some assumptions -
usually invisible assumptions that we don't see, unless we go looking.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If we all worked on the assumption that what is accepted as true
were really true, there would be little hope of advance.
- Orville Wright

Personal importance, or taking things personally,
is the maximum expression of selfishness
because we make the assumption that everything is about me.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Liar is a strong word, but we are all liars.
Not in the sense of intentionally speaking untruths,
but in the sense of carrying so much historical
and emotional baggage that none of us is believable.
To lie means to speak an untruth,
and virtually everything that comes out of our mouth
is an untruth - an opinion, an assumption,
a point-of-view based on our past.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Assumptions are beliefs that don't know they are beliefs.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Scuttle the Assumptions, dash the Expectations,
and hoist the sails of CHOICE to harness the winds of JOY.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

At the Core of Our Suffering
are those Self-Imposed Limitations (Assumptions)
of which We are Completely Unaware.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The Principal Causes of Our Suffering are
Our Past, and Our Expectations and Assumptions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Identify your assumptions (what you believe).
Question how you feel when you hold those assumptions.
Visualize holding different assumptions.
Ask yourself how it feels to hold a different world-view.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The River of Life has no expectations
and makes no assumptions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The Four Agreements
1.Be impeccable with your word.
2.Don't take anything personally.
3.Don't make assumptions.
4.Always do your best.
- don Miguel Ruiz

The very nature of the world is constant change.
You set a goal and create a plan to achieve it;
then the assumptions on which you
based your plan change - they always do.
The challenge is to retain your goals
while adapting your tactics.
Relax and stay flexible in order to reach
your goals and maintain your happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I CHOOSE with Open Mind and Open Heart -
I renounce all assumptions and expectations,
and I declare that I will thoughtfully consider all possibilities.
I will CHOOSE with courage, awareness,
consciousness, and compassion toward all.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Overflowing Cup of Tea:
The Zen Master poured his visitor's teacup full, and then kept pouring.
The visitor watched until he could no longer restrain himself.
"It is overfull. No more will go in!"
"Like this cup," the Zen Master said,
"you are full of your own opinions and assumptions.
How can you learn truth until you first empty your cup?"
- Traditional Zen Koan

I CHOOSE with Thoughtful Consideration:
I renounce all assumptions and expectations,
and declare that I will thoughtfully consider
all possibilities and CHOOSE among them with consciousness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

"Beginner Mind" is a Zen Buddhist term
that describes moving past our assumptions
of the nature of our life,
and really SEEING our surroundings -
especially the people we interact with -
with new eyes.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

EVERYONE has the right to make an ass out of themselves.
- Harold and Maude (The movie )

You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton

New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter

You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors

I didn't make it all the way through third grade for nothing.
- the movie The Rescuers Down Under

Clear? Huh. Why a four-year-old child
could understand this report.
Run out and find me a four-year-old child,
I can't make head or tail of it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious
as to have friends at a distance;
they make the latitudes and the longitudes.
- Henry David Thoreau

The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.
- Elbert Hubbard

The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken

Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor

I don't know, I don't care,
and it doesn't make any difference!
- Albert Einstein

I love deadlines.
I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
- Douglas Adams

How many legs does a dog have
if you call the tail a leg? Four.
Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
- Abraham Lincoln

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

Law of Contrariness:
Our chief want in life is somebody
who shall make us do what we can.
Having found them, we shall then hate them for it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Creationists make it sound as though a "theory'
is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.
- Isaac Asimov

If Hitler invaded hell
I would make at least a favorable reference
to the devil in the House of Commons.
- Winston Churchill

Money won't make you happy...
but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
- Zig Ziglar

Human beings must have action;
and they will make it if they cannot find it.
- Albert Einstein

I always arrive late at the office,
but I make up for it by leaving early.
- Charles Lamb

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright

You have to be a bastard to make it, and that's a fact.
And the Beatles are the biggest bastards on earth.
- John Lennon

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter

People who are wrapped up in themselves make small packages.
- Benjamin Franklin

Lord, where we are wrong,
make us willing to change;
where we are right,
make us easy to live with.
- Peter Marshall

I make it a policy to try never to
make a complete idiot of myself twice in the same way.
After all, there's always all kinds of new ways
to make a complete idiot of myself.
Why repeat the old ones?
- Margot Dalton

You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love one another but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea
between the shores of your souls.
- Khalil Gibran

It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations...
The quotations, when engraved upon the memory, give you good thoughts.
They also make you anxious to read the authors and look for more.
- Winston Churchill

Curiosity takes courage.
The most important promises are the ones you make to yourself.
Pay Attention.
Appreciate. Listen. Imagine.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha

If you want to make peace with your enemy,
you have to work with your enemy.
Then he becomes your partner.
- Nelson Mandela

Pain is what the world inflicts upon us.
Suffering is our emotional reaction when we fail
to make the difficult conscious choice to choose Joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Begin to define for ourselves
what it is to make a healthy choice.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Make a conscious choice to live
a serene and stress-free life.
Stress is always waiting just outside your door
like a vicious wild-dog.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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Funny Quotes about Assumption