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Let these funny Artificial Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
In truth, politeness is artificial good humor,
it covers the natural want of it,
and ends by rendering habitual a substitute
nearly equivalent to the real virtue.
- Thomas Jefferson
Prayer does not use up artificial energy,
doesn't burn up any fossil fuel, doesn't pollute.
Neither does song, neither does love, neither does the dance.
- Margaret Mead
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.
- Mel Brooks
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If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
- Mark Twain
If you're going to tell people the truth,
be funny or they'll kill you.
- Billy Wilder
Truth is a tendency.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll
The rarest quality in an epitaph is truth.
- Henry David Thoreau
The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.
- Oscar Wilde
Truth is stranger than fiction,
but that is because Fiction is obliged
to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.
- Mark Twain
The lawyer's truth is not Truth,
but consistency or a consistent expediency.
- Henry David Thoreau
A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.
- Will Rogers
All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill
Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin
My way of joking is telling the truth;
that is the funniest joke in the world.
- George Bernard Shaw
If you are out to describe the truth,
leave elegance to the tailor.
- Albert Einstein
Tell the truth, or someone will tell it for you.
- Stephanie Klein
Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband
a month before she marries him
and what she thinks of him a year afterward,
and you will have the truth about him.
- H. L. Mencken
When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.
- George Bernard Shaw
Soon we'll be out amid the cold world's strife.
Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life.
But as we go our sordid sep'rate ways,
We shall ne'er forget thee, thou golden college days.
Hearts full of youth,
Hearts full of truth,
Six parts gin to one part vermouth.
- Tom Lehrer - song: Bright College Days,
album: An Evening Wasted With Tom Lehrer
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde
The water in a vessel is sparkling;
the water in the sea is dark.
The small truth has words which are clear;
the great truth has great silence.
- Rabindranath Tagore
The words of truth are always paradoxical.
- Lao Tzu
Use the power of your word
in the direction of truth and love.
- don Miguel Ruiz
The truth. It is a beautiful and terrible thing,
and should be treated with caution.
- J. K. Rowling
We take refuge in pride,
because we are afraid to tell the truth to ourselves.
- Kakuzo Okakura
A man must be both stupid and uncharitable
who believes there is no virtue or truth but on his own side.
- Joseph Addison
The goal of education is the advancement of knowledge
and the dissemination of truth.
- John F. Kennedy
Every mind must make its choice
between truth and repose.
It cannot have both.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I am sorry to think that you do not get a man's
most effective criticism until you provoke him.
Severe truth is expressed with some bitterness.
- Henry David Thoreau
Having a personal opinion is great.
Believing that one's personal opinion is absolute truth
leads to most of the world's troubles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Intense feeling too often obscures the truth.
- Harry S. Truman
We are not afraid to follow truth
wherever it may lead,
nor to tolerate any error
so long as reason is left free to combat it.
- Thomas Jefferson
Our actions are constrained by fear of reprisal,
but our dreams reveal our true character.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Truth is absolute, but only to one person.
My truth is absolute to me, and your truth is absolute to you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart,
and you shall see that in truth
you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
- Khalil Gibran
God, as Truth, has been for me a treasure beyond price.
May He be so to every one of us.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Ignorance is preferable to error,
and he is less remote from the truth who believes nothing
than he who believes what is wrong.
- Thomas Jefferson
Truth stands, even if there be no public support.
It is self-sustained.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Fear is not in the habit of speaking truth.
- Publius Cornelius Tacitus
I believe in the fundamental truth
of all great religions of the world.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Truth is not only violated by falsehood;
it may be equally outraged by silence.
- Henri Frederic Amiel
Love is the ultimate truth at the heart of creation.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact.
Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.
- Marcus Aurelius
The truth of the matter is that
you always know the right thing to do.
The hard part is doing it.
- Norman Schwarzkoff
What people believe prevails over the truth.
- Sophocles
Facts are many, but the truth is one.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Above all, don't lie to yourself.
The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie
comes to a point that he cannot
distinguish the truth within him, or around him,
and so loses all respect for himself and for others.
- Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Anyone who doesn't take truth seriously in small matters
cannot be trusted in large ones either.
- Albert Einstein
All perception of truth
is the detection of an analogy;
we reason from our hands to our head.
- Henry David Thoreau
God is, even though the whole world deny him.
Truth stands, even if there be no public support.
It is self-sustained.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth
- not going all the way and not starting.
- The Buddha
Fiction reveals truth that reality obscures.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
This is my wish for you:
Comfort on difficult days,
Smiles when sadness intrudes,
Rainbows to follow the clouds,
Laughter to kiss your lips,
Sunsets to warm your heart,
Hugs when spirits sag,
Beauty for your eyes to see,
Friendships to brighten your being,
Faith so that you can believe,
Confidence for when you doubt,
Courage to know yourself,
Patience to accept the truth,
Love to complete your life.
- Anonymous
We tell the real truth of our life
by the stories we repeatedly tell.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The false can never grow into truth by growing in power.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Believe those who are seeking the truth.
Doubt those who find it.
- Andre Gide
Perhaps the truth depends on a walk around the lake.
- Wallace Stevens
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement.
But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
- Niels Bohr
In matters of truth and justice,
there is no difference between large and small problems,
for issues concerning the treatment of people are all the same.
- Albert Einstein
With manners comes insincerity.
Truth is sometimes difficult.
- Bono
No face which we can give to a matter
will stead us so well at last as the truth.
This alone wears well.
- Henry David Thoreau
We must be ready to learn from one another,
not claiming that we alone possess all truth
and that somehow we have a corner on God.
- Archbishop Desmond Tutu
Truth never damages a cause that is just.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Morality is the basis of things
and truth is the substance of all morality.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
All the religions of the world,
while they may differ in other respects,
unitedly proclaim that nothing lives in this world but Truth.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
There are trivial truths and there are great truths.
The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false.
The opposite of a great truth is also true.
- Niels Bohr
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.