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Funny Apologies Quotes
Funny Quotes about Apologies

Let these funny Apologies Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Accept everything about yourself - I mean everything.
You are you and that is the beginning and the end -
no apologies, no regrets.
- Henry Kissinger

Right actions in the future are the best apologies
for bad actions in the past.
- Tryon Edwards

I have no apologies.
- Jai Rodriguez

Even now, we make no apologies for the choice we made.
The sacrifices we made were selfless.
The options we offered were patriotic while the paths
we chose were well thought out.
- Ibrahim Babangida


 

I am not very moved by historical apologies.
- Tom Paulin

It is a good rule in life never to apologize.
The right sort of people do not want apologies,
and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.
- P. G. Wodehouse

I make no apologies.
- Cathy Freeman


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I'm not ashamed of being gay, never have been and never will be.
For that I have no apologies.
- Tommy Kirk

I'm not a Hollywood basher because enough good movies
come out of the Hollywood system every year to justify its existence,
without any apologies.
- Quentin Tarantino

We as Democrats have no apologies to make to anyone.
- Richard J. Daley

Eating words has never given me indigestion.
- Winston Churchill

Apology is only egotism wrong side out.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Friends are God's apology for relations.
- Hugh Kingsmille

If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard,
he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology.
- Jay Leno

Maturity is the ability to reap without apology and
not complain when things don't go well.
- Jim Rohn

A stiff apology is a second insult...
The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged;
he wants to be healed because he has been hurt.
- Gilbert K. Chesterton

If Bush said just once: 'Boy.
I hope you accept my apology as a country,'
or showed some humanity.
- Burt Bacharach

Cheyenne Autumn was received not too successfully.
I still think it was a very good movie.
It was kinda Ford's apology for the way he had treated
Indians in his past pictures.
- Richard Widmark

I want to express my deepest apology to the athletes,
the people of Salt Lake City in Utah and the millions
of citizens worldwide who love and respect the games.
- Juan Antonio Samaranch

An apology for the devil: it must be remembered that
we have heard one side of the case.
God has written all the books.
- Samuel Butler

Our systems, perhaps, are nothing more than an unconscious apology for our faults,
a gigantic scaffolding whose object is to hide from us our favorite sin.
- Henri Frederic Amiel

First off, I'm not a scientist, and I make no apology for that.
- Christopher Shays

I got bad calls every match, and I never got an apology.
So I thought it was rather strange.
- Ivan Lendl

An apology might help, but you can change your life without one.
- Robin Quivers

I don't ask for an apology because it's only tomorrow's fish-and-chip paper.
- Tracey Emin

The only correct actions are those that demand no explanation and no apology.
- Red Auerbach

A hero is someone we can admire without apology.
- Kitty Kelley

An apology? Bah!
Disgusting!
Cowardly!
Beneath the dignity of any gentleman,
however wrong he might be.
- Steve Martin

I had innumerable analysts who came to me in apology
that the world that we were finding was not the world
that they had thought existed and that they had estimated.
Reality on the ground differed in advance.
- David Kay

We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy.
But Clinton now is working very hard.
He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese.
And, he's also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets.
- David Letterman

I rise today to offer a formal and heartfelt apology
to all the victims of lynching in our history,
and for the failure of the United States Senate to
take action when action was most needed.
- George Allen

It will never do to plead sin as an excuse for sin,
or to attempt to justify sinful acts by pleading that we have an evil heart.
This instead of being a valid apology,
is the very ground of our condemnation.
- Archibald Alexander

An apology for the actions of some troops who,
of course, are not representative of the majority of the armed forces here,
I think that would have been useful and it would have helped to some extent.
- Adnan Pachachi

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston Churchill

This is my ultimate fantasy:
watching QVC with a credit card
while making love and eating at the same time.
- Yasmine Bleeth

Praying is important when you wake up
at two o'clock in the morning
feeling sick from eating something dumb the day before.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

If you are ever at a loss to support a flagging conversation,
introduce the subject of eating.
- Leigh Hunt

I don't go long without eating.
I never starve myself: I grab a healthy snack.
- Vanessa Hudgens

If I like myself at this weight, then this is what I'm going to be.
I don't have an eating disorder.
- Courteney Cox

Not eating meat is a decision, eating meat is an instinct.
- Denis Leary

The only think I like better than talking about Food is eating.
- John Walters

I started dieting.
I dieted, dieted, dieted and tried all the diets and
I would lose and then I would go back to normal eating
and would put it on and then some.
- Suzanne Somers

If we gave up eating beef we would have roughly 20
to 30 times more land for food than we have now.
- James Lovelock

Success to me is having ten honeydew melons and eating
only the top half of each slice.
- Barbra Streisand

Gluttony is an emotional escape, a sign something is eating us.
- Peter De Vries

Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.
- Truman Capote

It's true, you can never eat a pet you name.
And anyway, it would be like a ventriloquist eating his dummy.
- Alexander Theroux

I like food.
I like eating.
And I don't want to deprive myself of good food.
- Sarah Michelle Gellar

Some people are willing to pay the price and it's the
same with staying healthy or eating healthy.
There's some discipline involved.
There's some sacrifices.
- Mike Ditka

Cereal eating is almost a marker for a healthy lifestyle.
It sets you up for the day, so you don't overeat.
- Bruce Barton

Maybe there is no actual place called hell.
Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents
breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
- Jim Carrey

Childhood obesity is best tackled at home through improved parental involvement,
increased physical exercise, better diet and restraint from eating.
- Bob Filner

Eating without conversation is only stoking.
- Marcelene Cox

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup,
only less filling.
- Dave Barry

We love to be with our family and friends and I can
tell you that lots of eating will be involved.
- Julia Barr

You can tell alot about a fellow's character by his
way of eating jellybeans.
- Ronald Reagan

Food can become such a point of anxiety -
not because it's food,
but just because you have anxiety.
That's how eating disorders develop.
- Vanessa Carlton

When you are eating, eat totally -
chew totally, taste totally, smell totally.
Touch your bread, feel the texture.
Smell the bread, smell the flavor.
Chew it, let it dissolve into your being,
and remain conscious - and you are meditating.
And then meditation is not separate from life.
- Osho

You see people who have been very heavy in their life
who have taken that body,
trimmed it down, firmed it up through discipline,
exercise and being able to say no.
Eating properly, that all comes into it.
- Mike Ditka

Our society's strong emphasis on dieting and self-image
can sometimes lead to eating disorders.
We know that more than 5 million Americans suffer from eating disorders,
most of them young women.
- Tipper Gore

Do the small things of life with a relaxed awareness.
When you are eating, eat totally -
chew totally, taste totally, smell totally.
Touch your bread, feel the texture.
Smell the bread, smell the flavor.
Chew it, let it dissolve into your being.
- Osho

So, when it comes to eating healthy,
it's just doing the right thing.
And it's not something you have to do 365 days a year,
but I think it's something you have to do 25 days a month.
Let's put it that way.
- Mike Ditka

The Establishment center...
has led us into the stupidest and cruelest war in all history.
That war is a moral and political disaster -
a terrible cancer eating away at the soul of our nation.
- George McGovern

I've done the Rolling Stones eating each other.
- Ralph Steadman

Making movies is eating candy.
It's a very expensive candy, so you value when you can do it.
So when you can do it twice at once,
it's like,
you know, a kid in a candy store!
- Phillip Noyce

You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
- George Carlin

Progressivism is the cancer in America and it is eating our Constitution,
and it was designed to eat the Constitution,
to progress past the Constitution.
- Glenn Beck

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking,
unless it be lobster salad and Champagne,
the only true feminine and becoming viands.
- Lord Byron

Chess can be described as the movement of pieces eating one another.
- Marcel Duchamp

Philosophy!
Empty thinking by ignorant conceited men who think
they can digest without eating!
- Iris Murdoch

We'll engage in pretty extreme violence in the world but,
you know, the one thing that comes to humans as easily
as eating or breathing or sleeping,
is sex.
- Mark Ruffalo


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