Funny Anxious Quotes - Funny Quotes about Anxious

Funny Anxious Quotes
Funny Quotes about Anxious

Let these funny Anxious Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

There are nine requisites for contented living:
HEALTH enough to make work a pleasure;
WEALTH enough to support your needs;
STRENGTH enough to battle with difficulties and forsake them;
GRACE enough to confess your sins and overcome them;
PATIENCE enough to toil until some good is accomplished;
CHARITY enough to see some good in your neighbor;
LOVE enough to move you to be useful and helpful to others;
FAITH enough to make real the things of God;
HOPE enough to remove all anxious fears concerning the future.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin

You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)

Never call an accountant a credit to his profession;
a good accountant is a debit to his profession.
- Charles Lyell

I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup

He who marries for love without money
has good nights and sorry days.
- Anonymous

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

Harvard takes perfectly good plums as students,
and turns them into prunes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau

Nothing is as good for the soul as a marshmallow roast.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates

I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)

Few things are harder to put up with
than the annoyance of a good example.
- Mark Twain

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

I only wish that ordinary people
had an unlimited capacity for doing harm;
then they might have an unlimited power for doing good.
- Socrates

I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor

What do I think of Western civilization?
I think it would be a very good idea.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
- Albert Schweitzer

Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde

The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

It is far more impressive when others
discover your good qualities without your help.
- Judith Martin

I always pass on good advice.
It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde

Today is probably a good day for something;
but it's a better day for doing nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is more of good nature than of good sense
at the bottom of most marriages.
- Henry David Thoreau

I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

She generally gave herself very good advice,
(though she very seldom followed it).
- Lewis Carroll

As for doing good; that is one of the professions which is full.
Moreover I have tried it fairly and, strange as it may seem,
am satisfied that it does not agree with my constitution.
- Henry David Thoreau

Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The only thing necessary for evil to triumph
is for enough good men to do nothing.
- Edmund Burke

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves
to recognize how good things really are.
- Marianne Williamson

I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe

Write your Sad times in Sand,
Write your Good times in Stone.
- George Bernard Shaw

He who can no longer pause to wonder
and stand rapt in awe,
is as good as dead;
his eyes are closed.
- Albert Einstein

Discourage litigation.
Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can.
As a peacemaker the lawyer has
superior opportunity of being a good man.
There will still be business enough.
- Abraham Lincoln

You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill

Good judgement comes from experience.
Experience comes from bad judgement.
- Jim Horning

A good-bye is never painful unless
you're never going to say hello again.
- Anonymous

It is never good dwelling on good-byes ...
it is not the being together that it prolongs, it is the parting.
- Elizabeth Bibesco

All tyranny needs to gain a foothold
is for people of good conscience to remain silent.
- Thomas Jefferson

Better learn balance. Balance is key.
Balance good, karate good. Everything good.
Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid

Every good relationship, especially marriage, is based on respect.
If it's not based on respect,
nothing that appears to be good will last very long.
- Amy Grant

I used to believe in forever, but forever's too good to be true.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

I find that he is happiest
of whom the world says least, good or bad.
- Thomas Jefferson

Make sure you never, never argue at night.
You just lose a good night's sleep,
and you can't settle anything until morning anyway.
- Rose Kennedy

There are no good-byes.
Wherever we are, you'll always be in my heart.
- Anonymous

The River of Life has no meaning,
no good, no bad, no better, no worse,
no love, no hate, no fear, no anger, no joy.
The River of Life has no judgment, no expectation.
The River of Life just IS.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The world moves, and ideas that were
once good are not always good.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I object to violence because
when it appears to do good,
the good is only temporary;
the evil it does is permanent.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Good manners sometimes means simply
putting up with other people's bad manners.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Good for who? Good for what?
There is no absolute "good."
"Good" is simply one person's preference.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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Funny Anxious Quotes
Funny Quotes about Anxious