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Funny Amen Quotes
Funny Quotes about Amen

Let these funny Amen Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I love, without condition, myself,
all those around me,
and all those in my thoughts,
this day and evermore. Amen
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To know what you prefer
instead of humbly saying Amen
to what the world tells you you ought to prefer,
is to have kept your soul alive.
- Robert Louis Stevenson

Prayer:
Lord God, Holy Spirit, Giver of All Light,
Bless and Keep All Those of This World.
Grant Us Your Peace, Your Light, Your Love.
Grant Us Complete Renewal of Body, Mind and Spirit -
Continual Rebirth in Newness of Life.
Let Your Light Shine Upon Us and Be Gracious to Us.
Grant to Each and Every One of Us:
Health, Comfort, Joy, Peace Within Ourselves,
Peace Within Our Families, Peace Within Our Communities,
and Peace among All those This World.
Grant That I May Be an Instrument of Thy Peace.
Grant That I May Radiate Thy Peace, Thy Light, Thy Love,
Thy Healing, Thy Comfort, Thy Joy,
to All Those Around Me and All Those in My Thoughts
This Day and Ever More. AMEN.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every good relationship, especially marriage, is based on respect.
If it's not based on respect,
nothing that appears to be good will last very long.
- Amy Grant


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The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous


 

He who marries for love without money
has good nights and sorry days.
- Anonymous

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

Never call an accountant a credit to his profession;
a good accountant is a debit to his profession.
- Charles Lyell

I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup

Golf is a good walk spoiled.
- Mark Twain

You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)

One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

She generally gave herself very good advice,
(though she very seldom followed it).
- Lewis Carroll

Nothing is as good for the soul as a marshmallow roast.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin

I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

Few things are harder to put up with
than the annoyance of a good example.
- Mark Twain

My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates

I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
- Albert Schweitzer

I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is a moderately good play
with a badly written third act.
- Truman Capote

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)

Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

I always pass on good advice.
It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde

Harvard takes perfectly good plums as students,
and turns them into prunes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
- H. L. Mencken

There is more of good nature than of good sense
at the bottom of most marriages.
- Henry David Thoreau

I only wish that ordinary people
had an unlimited capacity for doing harm;
then they might have an unlimited power for doing good.
- Socrates

It is far more impressive when others
discover your good qualities without your help.
- Judith Martin

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin

I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor

If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau

Today is probably a good day for something;
but it's a better day for doing nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Regrets are the tears of good deeds left undone
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

What do I think of Western civilization?
I think it would be a very good idea.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

A good indignation brings out all one's powers.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill

He who can no longer pause to wonder
and stand rapt in awe,
is as good as dead;
his eyes are closed.
- Albert Einstein

As for doing good; that is one of the professions which is full.
Moreover I have tried it fairly and, strange as it may seem,
am satisfied that it does not agree with my constitution.
- Henry David Thoreau

The only thing necessary for evil to triumph
is for enough good men to do nothing.
- Edmund Burke

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

No good comes from hurrying.
- Yiddish Proverb

I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe

Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves
to recognize how good things really are.
- Marianne Williamson

A good traveler has no fixed plans,
and is not intent on arriving.
- Lao Tzu

It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations...
The quotations, when engraved upon the memory, give you good thoughts.
They also make you anxious to read the authors and look for more.
- Winston Churchill

Write your Sad times in Sand,
Write your Good times in Stone.
- George Bernard Shaw

Discourage litigation.
Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can.
As a peacemaker the lawyer has
superior opportunity of being a good man.
There will still be business enough.
- Abraham Lincoln

A bad peace is better than a good war.
- Yiddish Proverb

Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.
- John D. Rockefeller

It takes time to persuade men to do even
what is for their own good.
- Thomas Jefferson

Good manners sometimes means simply
putting up with other people's bad manners.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I find that he is happiest
of whom the world says least, good or bad.
- Thomas Jefferson

The River of Life has no meaning,
no good, no bad, no better, no worse,
no love, no hate, no fear, no anger, no joy.
The River of Life has no judgment, no expectation.
The River of Life just IS.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is more value in a very good painting
that is completed and on display,
than in an excellent painting
that is still in the artist's studio,
or perhaps still in his mind.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In the arena of human life,
the honors and rewards fall to those
who show their good qualities in action.
- Aristotle

Good judgement comes from experience.
Experience comes from bad judgement.
- Jim Horning

There are no good-byes.
Wherever we are, you'll always be in my heart.
- Anonymous

A good-bye is never painful unless
you're never going to say hello again.
- Anonymous

The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night's sleep.
- E. Joseph Cossman

The man who can't dance thinks the band is no good.
- Polish Proverb


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.