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Let these funny Adult Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
The solution to adult problems tomorrow
depends in large measure upon
how our children grow up today.
- Margaret Mead
As long as any adult thinks that he,
like the parents and teachers of old,
can become introspective,
invoking his own youth to understand
the youth before him,
he is lost.
- Margaret Mead
The creative adult is the child who has survived.
- Ursula K. Le Guin
For every complex problem,
there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
- H.L. Mencken
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I can not believe that war
is the best solution.
No one won the last war,
and no one will win the next war.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
The basic problems facing the world today
are not susceptible to a military solution.
- John F. Kennedy
When trouble arises and things look bad,
there is always one individual who perceives a solution
and is willing to take command.
Very often, that individual is crazy.
- Dave Barry
All progress is precarious, and the solution
of one problem brings us face to face with another problem.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
When I am working on a problem,
I never think about beauty,
but when I have finished,
if the solution is not beautiful,
I know it is wrong.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
The first step towards the solution
of any problem is optimism.
- John Baines
Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers,
who can cut through argument, debate, and doubt
to offer a solution everybody can understand.
- Colin Powell
When the solution is simple, God is answering.
- Albert Einstein
Every problem has in it the seeds of its own solution.
If you don't have any problems, you don't get any seeds.
- Norman Vincent Peale
Laugh at yourself and at life.
Not in the spirit of derision or whining self-pity,
but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain,
cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective
that seemingly terrible defeat and worry
with laughter at your predicaments,
thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution
that is certain to come. Never take yourself too seriously.
- Og Mandino
If men can develop weapons that are so terrifying
as to make the thought of global war
include almost a sentence for suicide,
you would think that man's intelligence and his comprehension...
would include also his ability to find a peaceful solution.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
It's not a mess.
It's a physical manifestation of
a wonderfully complex ability to
assess and compartmentalize information.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Inferiority Complex:
a name for not loving yourself enough.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
The secret of getting started is
breaking your complex overwhelming tasks
into small manageable tasks,
and starting on the first one.
- Mark Twain
Nurturing is not complex.
It's simply being tuned in to the thing or person before you
and offering small gestures toward what it needs at that time.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
People who work together will win,
whether it be against complex football defenses,
or the problems of modern society.
- Vince Lombardi
Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex...
It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage
to move in the opposite direction.
- Albert Einstein
Today... maybe I can take one step
on that profoundly complex path to peace.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
In the councils of government,
we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence,
whether sought or unsought, by the military-industrial complex.
The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power
exists and will persist.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
The older I get, the more wisdom I find
in the ancient rule of taking first things first.
A process which often reduces
the most complex human problem to a manageable proportion.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Each of us holds a different image of God.
There are as many perspectives on
the nature of God as there are people.
However much any of us may choose to argue,
or to fight and kill, for our point of view,
the nature of God is an unanswerable question.
Perhaps there is a specific answer,
that we will never learn - in this lifetime.
Perhaps the nature of God is so complex and multifaceted
that each view of God describes an aspect of the complex whole.
Or perhaps the nature of God is actually defined by our beliefs.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence,
whether sought or unsought, by the military-industrial complex.
The potential for the disastrous rise
of misplaced power exists and will persist.
We must never let the weight of this combination
endanger our liberties or democratic processes.
We should take nothing for granted.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower in his Farewell Address of January, 17 1961
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Delusion: belief said to be false by someone who does not share it.
- Thomas Szasz
Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom,
but Babbling is ever a folly.
- Benjamin Franklin
One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide
Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot
Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein
It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort of attached to it.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
The wine of youth does not always
clear with advancing years;
sometimes it grows turbid.
- Carl Jung
I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain
Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone
I love not to mix with it.
- Thomas Jefferson
I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.