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Let these funny Acquires Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Education is a method whereby
one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
- Laurence J. Peter
Almost any sect, cult, or religion will
legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power.
- Robert A. Heinlein
It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion
will legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power to do so,
and will follow it by suppressing opposition,
subverting all education to seize early the minds of the young,
and by killing, locking up, or driving underground all heretics.
- Robert Heinlein
The more I read, the more I meditate;
and the more I acquire,
the more certain I am that I know nothing.
- Voltaire
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We acquire the strength we have overcome.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Before we acquire great power
we must acquire wisdom to use it well.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
To acquire knowledge, one must study;
but to acquire wisdom, one must observe.
- Marilyn vos Savant
Abundance is not something we acquire.
It is something we tune into.
- Wayne Dyer
There are very few human beings who receive the truth,
complete and staggering, by instant illumination.
Most of them acquire it fragment by fragment,
on a small scale, by successive developments,
cellularly, like a laborious mosaic.
- Anais Nin
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
- Albert Einstein
Positive thinking has acquired a bad reputation -
which I believe to be totally undeserved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The things that have acquired unity are these:
Heaven by unity has become clear;
Earth by unity has become steady;
The Spirit by unity has become spiritual;
The Valley by unity has become full;
All things by unity have come into existence.
- Lao Tzu
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness,
and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts.
Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things
cannot be acquired by vegetating
in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.
- Mark Twain
The Lord prefers common-looking people.
That is why he makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
Fear of death ... That's funny. I have that too.
My dog has it. It's very common with living creatures.
- the movie Anything Else (2003)
Common looking people are the best in the world:
that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
Society is always taken by surprise
at any new example of common sense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Well excuse me - we've got something
a little unusual going on here -
time travel, parallel universes,
or just a little common ordinary insanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Religion is regarded by the common people as true,
by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Believe nothing, no matter where you read it,
or who said it, no matter if I have said it,
unless it agrees with your own reason
and your own common sense.
- The Buddha
Naturally, the common people don't want war ...
but after all it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy,
and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along,
whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship,
or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship.
Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought
to the bidding of the leaders.
That is easy. All you have to do is tell them
they are being attacked,
and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism
and exposing the country to danger.
It works the same in every country.
- Hermann Goering
The common denominator of our heroes
is that each set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is nothing more uncommon than common sense.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Our most basic common link is that we all inhabit this planet.
We all breathe the same air.
We all cherish our children's future.
And we are all mortal.
- John F. Kennedy
Nothing is so common-place as to wish to be remarkable.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
If all misfortunes were laid in one common heap
whence everyone must take an equal portion,
most people would be contented to take their own and depart.
- Socrates
If you fear making anyone mad,
then you ultimately probe for
the lowest common denominator of human achievement.
- Jimmy Carter
Common Sense is that which judges
the things given to it by other senses.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Nothing astonishes men so much as common sense and plain dealing.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The people are the foundation of the nation.
Our only chance for a lasting peace on earth:
the release of the strength of the common man.
- Jimmy Yen
The most common way people give up their power
is by thinking they don't have any.
- Alice Walker
When you can do the common things of life in an uncommon way,
you will command the attention of the world.
- George Washington Carver
The common denominator for success is work.
- John D. Rockefeller
We seek to emphasize those practical things that we have in common.
- Australian Prime Minister John Howard
Learn to do common things uncommonly well;
we must always keep in mind that anything
that helps fill the dinner pail is valuable.
- George Washington Carver
It is curious - curious that physical courage
should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare
- Mark Twain
Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing,
moving at different speeds.
A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
- William James
The future has nothing in common with the past -
except natural laws and human nature.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Common sense is genius dressed in its working clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are,
and doing things as they ought to be done.
- Josh Billings
A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
- William James
If one advances confidently
in the direction of his dreams,
and endeavors to live
the life which he has imagined,
he will meet with success
unexpected in common hours.
- Henry David Thoreau
Like music and art, love of nature is a common language
that can transcend political or social boundaries.
- Jimmy Carter
The invariable mark of wisdom is to
see the miraculous in the common.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
It is difficult for the common good to prevail
against the intense concentration
of those who have a special interest,
especially if the decisions are made behind locked doors.
- Jimmy Carter
Diversity is the one true thing we all have in common.
Celebrate it every day.
- Anonymous
Do real life people actually fall in love
with the idea of being in love?
Unfortunately, it is actually quite common.
Someone wants desperately to have
the husband or wife of their dreams.
They visualize the vine-covered cottage
with the white picket fence.
They choose the colors for the nursery.
They design all the aspects of their married life.
A real person stands no chance of measuring up to those fantasies.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The new rage is to say that the government
is the cause of all our problems,
and if only we had no government, we'd have no problems.
I can tell you, that contradicts
evidence, history, and common sense.
- William J. Clinton
I have learned, that if one advances confidently
in the direction of his dreams,
and endeavors to live the life he has imagined,
he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
- Henry David Thoreau
Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision.
The ability to direct individual accomplishments
toward organizational objectives.
It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.
- Andrew Carnegie
There are old heads in the world
who cannot help me by their example or advice
to live worthily and satisfactorily to myself;
but I believe that it is in my power
to elevate myself this very hour
above the common level of my life.
- Henry David Thoreau
If you advance confidently in the direction of your dreams
and endeavor to leave the life which you have imagined,
you will you will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
- Henry David Thoreau
Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence.
Talent will not;
nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.
Genius will not;
unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
Education will not;
the world is full of educated derelicts.
Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
- Calvin Coolidge
We are not going to be able
to operate our Spaceship Earth
successfully nor for much longer
unless we see it as a whole spaceship
and our fate as common.
It has to be everybody or nobody.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams,
and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined,
he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
He will put some things behind, will pass an invisible boundary;
new, universal, and more liberal laws
will begin to establish themselves around and within him;
or the old laws be expanded, and interpreted in his favor
in a more liberal sense,
and he will live with the license of a higher order of beings.
- Henry David Thoreau
I have thought there was some advantage even in death,
by which we mingle with the herd of common men.
- Henry David Thoreau
Lord, where we are wrong,
make us willing to change;
where we are right,
make us easy to live with.
- Peter Marshall
I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron
Lord, grant that I might not so much
seek to be loved as to love.
- St. Francis of Assisi
In boundless love as a Christian and as a man
I read through the passage which tells us
how the Lord at last rose in His might
and seized the scourge to drive out of the Temple
the brood of vipers and of adders.
- Adolf Hitler
Advice is seldom welcome,
and those who need it the most, like it the least.
- Lord Chesterfield
Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
- Alfred, Lord Tennyson
I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted,
every hill and mountain shall be made low,
the rough places will be made straight
and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed
and all flesh shall see it together.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Our Lord has written the promise of the resurrection,
not in books alone, but in every leaf in spring-time.
- Martin Luther
I am the lord of myself, accountable to none.
- Benjamin Franklin
If you would convince others,
seem open to conviction yourself.
- Lord Chesterfield
Lord, grant comfort, joy and health
to those I call friend,
to those I call enemy,
and to those I have cursed by my indifference.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
O! beware, my lord, of jealousy;
It is the green-eyed monster which
doth mock the meat it feeds on.
- William Shakespeare
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.