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Let these funny According Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Each one prays to God according to his own light.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Seriousness is a sickness; your sense of humor
makes you more human, more humble.
The sense of humor - according to me -
is one of the most essential parts of religiousness.
- Osho
Let us touch the dying, the poor,
the lonely and the unwanted
according to the graces we have received
and let us not be ashamed
or slow to do the humble work.
- Mother Teresa
God has no religion.
Each one prays to God according to his own light.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
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Nothing is evil which is according to nature.
- Marcus Aurelius
You can't move so fast that you try to change
the mores faster than people can accept it.
That doesn't mean you do nothing,
but it means that you do the things that
need to be done according to priority.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Rightful liberty is unobstructed action according to our will
within limits drawn around us by the equal rights of others.
I do not add "within the limits of the law"
because law is often but the tyrant's will,
and always so when it violates the rights of the individual.
- Thomas Jefferson
Most of us believe that we have
been betrayed by someone outside of us -
in other words someone has done something to hurt us,
been dishonest or broken a promise made:
some trust in some concept was broken.
Indeed someone may have taken an action
that took only their needs into consideration,
they may have not followed through on a promise made,
and they may have not told you the truth.
But their actions have nothing to do with you
and have everything to do with them.
That's why no one can do anything TO you.
They can take actions that involve you that you may not like -
according to your point of view.
But you are not a victim, no way, no how.
- Sheri Rosenthal
Today is the bridge between the past,
regarding which we unconditionally accept that
everything has occurred according to God's plan,
and a future where we place our unconditional trust
in God's omnipotence and His benevolent design for our lives.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The child in me could not die as it should have died,
because according too legends it must find its father again.
The old legends knew, perhaps, that in absence
the father becomes glorified, deified, eroticized,
and this outrage against God the Father has to be atoned for.
The human father has to be confronted and recognized as human,
as man who created a child and then, by his absence,
left the child fatherless and then Godless.
- Anais Nin
We each have a sixth sense that is
attuned to the oneness dimension in life,
providing a means for us to guide our lives
in accord with our ideas.
- Henry Reed
Ordinary people seem not to realize
that those who really apply themselves
in the right way to philosophy
are directly and of their own accord
preparing themselves for dying and death.
- Socrates
Ordinary life does not interest me.
I seek only the high moments.
I am in accord with the surrealists,
searching for the marvelous.
- Anais Nin
First meditate, be blissful,
then much love will happen of its own accord.
Then being with others is beautiful
and being alone is also beautiful.
Then it is simple, too.
You dont depend on others
and you dont make others dependent on you.
- Osho
Know, first, who you are, and then adorn yourself accordingly.
- Epictetus
All that is valuable in human society
depends upon the opportunity for development
accorded the individual.
- Albert Einstein
In great contests, each party claims to act
in accordance with the will of God.
Both may be, and one must be wrong.
- Abraham Lincoln
Do not seek to bring things to pass
in accordance with your wishes,
but wish for them as they are,
and you will find them.
- Epictetus
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
I am prepared to meet my Maker.
Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal
of meeting me is another matter.
- Winston Churchill
Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married
to someone who's recklessly impulsive?
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II
We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron
I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle.
- Lewis Carroll
To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
I always seem to get inspiration and renewed vitality
by contact with this great novel land of yours
which sticks up out of the Atlantic.
- Winston Churchill
New York City is a great monument
to the power of money and greed...
a race for rent.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
- John Lennon
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The magic words for a great relationship are,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Silence is a source of great strength.
- Lao Tzu
If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Where there is great love,
there are always miracles.
- Willa Cather
To be one, to be united is a great thing.
But to respect the right to be different is maybe even greater.
- Bono
If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Life in abundance comes only through great love.
- Elbert Hubbard
Great minds discuss ideas;
average minds discuss events;
small minds discuss people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
I long to accomplish a great and noble task,
but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks
as if they were great and noble.
- Helen Keller
It gives me great pleasure indeed to see the stubbornness
of an incorrigible nonconformist warmly acclaimed.
- Albert Einstein
Regrets and resentments cause great suffering but fix nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The great end of life is not knowledge but action.
- Thomas Henry Huxley
Having a personal opinion is great.
Believing that one's personal opinion is absolute truth
leads to most of the world's troubles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No crime is so great as daring to excel.
- Winston Churchill
Dare to dream of your great success.
Become intimate with those things
which deeply motivate you
and regularly work toward
the realization of that mission.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation
can be trusted to act humanely
or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear.
- Bertrand Russell
Life is a great big canvas,
and you should throw all the paint you can on it.
- Danny Kaye
I have a great deal of company in the house,
especially in the morning when nobody calls.
- Henry David Thoreau
Dare to dream of your great success.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.
- John D. Rockefeller
You're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
So... get on your way!
- Dr. Seuss
Mostly, it is human to dislike surprises -
often with great intensity.
Be open to new ways;
sometimes newness just knocks on our door;
welcome it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Little strokes,
Fell great oaks.
- Benjamin Franklin
Wealth consists not in having great possessions,
but in having few wants.
- Epictetus
Know that you cannot create great new beginnings
until you sincerely celebrate the endings that precede them.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The magic words for a great family are,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Until you'll willing to look foolish,
you'll never have the possibility of being great.
- Cher
The only good luck many great men ever had was
being born with the ability and determination to overcome bad luck.
- Channing Pollock
Being is the great explainer.
- Henry David Thoreau
We know but a few men, a great many coats and breeches.
- Henry David Thoreau
I am a firm believer in the people.
If given the truth, they can be depended upon
to meet any national crisis.
The great point is to bring them the real facts.
- Abraham Lincoln
I have decided to stick with love.
Hate is too great a burden to bear.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
I believe in the fundamental truth
of all great religions of the world.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.