Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z

Funny Absolutely Quotes
Funny Quotes about Absolutely

Let these funny Absolutely Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things,
and I have succeeded fairly well.
- Robert Benchley

Always remember that you are absolutely unique.
Just like everyone else.
- Margaret Mead

I don't doubt God. I have firm faith absolutely in God.
It's religion I'm doubting.
- Bono

My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite
smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol
before, after and if need be during all meals
and in the intervals between them.
- Winston Churchill


 

The WORK
1.Is it true?
2.Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3.How do you react when you think that thought?
4.Who would you be without the thought?
- Byron Katie

Women have to harness their power - its absolutely true.
It's just learning not to take the first no.
And if you can't go straight ahead, you go around the corner.
- Cher

I've said it before, but it's absolutely true:
My mother gave me my drive,
but my father gave me my dreams.
Thanks to him, I could see a future.
- Liza Minelli


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius
and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous
than absolutely boring.
- Marilyn Monroe

It is absolutely imperative that we protect,
preserve and pass on this genetic heritage for man
and every other living thing in as good a condition as we received it.
- David R. Brower

Listen to all, plucking a feather
from every passing goose,
but, follow no one absolutely.
- Chinese Proverb

Collecting more taxes than is absolutely necessary is legalized robbery.
- Calvin Coolidge

Inside most people there's a feeling of being separate,
separated from everything ... And they're not.
They're part of absolutely everyone, and everything.
- the movie Powder

If humanity does not opt for integrity we are through completely.
It is absolutely touch and go.
Each one of us could make the difference.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone
who can do him absolutely no good.
- Samuel Johnson

The only way to deal with an unfree world
is to become so absolutely free
that your very existence is an act of rebellion.
- Albert Camus

If you are absolutely without mind,
just pure consciousness,
time stops completely,
disappears,
leaving no trace behind.
- Osho

Nothing is ever absolutely "wrong."
"Wrong" is in the cultural tradition of the beholder.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Know first that you have absolutely no power to change the world,
and then address all your energies and intent toward improving it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is danger that we lose sight of
what our friend is absolutely,
while considering what she is to us alone.
- Henry David Thoreau

So that the record of history is absolutely crystal clear.
That there is no alternative way, so far discovered,
of improving the lot of the ordinary people that can
hold a candle to the productive activities that are
unleashed by a free enterprise system.
- Milton Friedman

We do not grow absolutely, chronologically.
We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another, unevenly.
We grow partially. We are relative.
We are mature in one realm, childish in another.
- Anais Nin

Set your sights high, the higher the better.
Expect the most wonderful things to happen,
not in the future but right now.
Realize that nothing is too good.
Allow absolutely nothing to hamper you or hold you up in any way.
- Eileen Caddy

As a teenager I was so insecure.
I was the type of guy that never fitted in because
he never dared to choose.
I was convinced I had absolutely no talent at all.
For nothing.
And that thought took away all my ambition too.
- Johnny Depp

America has the best doctors, the best nurses,
the best hospitals, the best medical technology,
the best medical breakthrough medicines in the world.
There is absolutely no reason we should not have in
this country the best health care in the world.
- Bill Frist

There will one day spring from the brain of science
a machine or force so fearful in its potentialities,
so absolutely terrifying, that even man,
the fighter, who will dare torture and death in order
to inflict torture and death,
will be appalled, and so abandon war forever.
- Thomas A. Edison

We should meet abuse by forbearance.
Human nature is so constituted that
if we take absolutely no notice of anger or abuse,
the person indulging in it will soon weary of it and stop.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

One album has absolutely nothing to do with the other.
- Josh Silver

I think creativity is spiritual.
I absolutely believe that.
- F. Murray Abraham

Certainly, I think being depressed is absolutely part of the human condition,
it has to be, if there's joy there's its opposite,
and it's something you ride if you possibly can.
- Bob Geldof

I have absolutely no plans and no expectations of ever being a candidate again.
- Al Gore

Number one, I absolutely love making chocolate chip cookies.
I mean, it's fun.
It's exciting.
Beyond the fact that I love making them,
I love eating them.
- Debbi Fields

The English may not like music, but they absolutely love the noise it makes.
- Thomas Beecham

I have a lot of friends who get up most mornings and
go to jobs they absolutely hate.
I don't think that's what life is about and I'm so
fortunate that I actually love what I do.
- Jerry Herman

There is one thing a professor can be absolutely certain of:
almost every student entering the university believes,
or says he believes, that truth is relative.
- Allan Bloom

Cooper wrote a novel which is absolutely indistinguishable from Austen,
completely from a female point of view,
completely English, no sense that he was an American.
- Leslie Fiedler

The problem with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius,
but with absolutely no talent.
- Hugh Leonard

I'm absolutely obsessed with The Jesus And Mary Chain and Patti Smith,
but I'm a massive pop fan.
I love pop culture, It's a total reflection of the zeitgeist.
- Siobhan Fahey

I wasn't in any way a kind of soothsayer or not surprised when Sept.
11 happened.
I was absolutely shocked.
- Jon Ronson

How I would describe my characters is absolutely different
from how I would describe myself.
- Salma Hayek

I think that there is absolutely no free market in
modern industrial states.
- Jeane Kirkpatrick

It's always been really important for me to try to
maintain a balanced life,
professional and personal, and this was absolutely
something that my husband and I had hoped for.
- Debra Messing

The aristocracy of Western Europe has absolutely tabooed
silver in those countries and driven it away from there.
Here it finds its only resting place.
- Richard Parks Bland

Sexiness is all in the eye of the beholder.
I think it should be.
Absolutely.
My sex appeal, whatever it might be,
isn't obvious...
at least to me.
- Sharon Tate

It appeared as if I had invited the audience into the water with me,
and it conveyed the sensation that being in there was absolutely delicious.
- Esther Williams

An absolutely different and distinctive character.
- George Edmund Street

You know, it's absolutely connected to The Mollusk in that,
it's what we're writing after The Mollusk.
A lot of this stuff reminds me of things on The Mollusk.
- Gene Ween

We've already recognized that it is absolutely essential
for British children to learn other languages and we
will be working hard to put further strategies in place to ensure this.
- John Whitehead

Brahms believed that there was no need to publish absolutely
everything that Schubert ever wrote.
- Dietrich Fischer-Dieskau

Everything that I had done creatively related to two
or three incidents that happened to me when I was a
child that I'd forgotten.
Everything, absolutely everything.
- Pete Townshend

Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.
- Will Cuppy

It is absolutely impossible to settle the debts to pensioners,
teachers, and others.
The country hasn't got enough money to do so.
- Eduard Shevardnadze

The ego is as little absolutely permanent as are bodies.
- Ernst Mach

What looks absolutely fabulous in rehearsal can fall
flat in front of an audience.
The audience dictates what you do or don't change.
- Harvey Fierstein

Don't let anyone tell you what you ought to like...
Some wines that some experts think are absolutely exquisite
don't appeal to me at all.
- John Cleese

Freedom is absolutely necessary for the progress in
science and the liberal arts.
- Baruch Spinoza

Not that I have any interest in saying goodbye to Rocky.
I absolutely adore being involved and a part of something
that is really a phenomenon.
- Richard O'Brien

Clinton had absolutely zero honeymoon,
none whatsoever.
- Dee Dee Myers

To die for a religion is easier than to live it absolutely.
- Jorge Luis Borges

Vladimir Nabokov said the two great evils of the 20th
century were Marx and Freud.
He was absolutely correct.
- Dean Koontz

Absolutely not.
I have no problem with commitment.
In fact, I love having someone in my life.
- Matthew McConaughey

We convinced him quickly that the possibility of war
was absolutely nil and continued our festivity.
On the next day we were ordered to take the field.
- Manfred von Richthofen

None of God's Creatures absolutely consider'd are in
their own Nature Contemptible;
the meanest Fly,
the poorest Insect has its Use and Vertue.
- Mary Astell

There was absolutely no work for Latinos and blacks.
- Victor Argo

Small business in America is booming.
The job creator in America, small business,
is absolutely moving ahead.
- Pete Domenici

We are on the track of something absolutely mediocre.
- Billy Wilder

It is absolutely my conviction, that Walter Salles
will figure among the great directors of our time.
- Arthur Cohn

Selling a book or story has never become absolutely automatic for me.
- Rudy Rucker

I envision a future where there'll be 300 million reporters,
where anyone from anywhere can report for any reason.
It's freedom of participation absolutely realized.
- Matt Drudge

I was born in Poland I came to Sweden when I was eight
and always wanted to act and suddenly ended up in a
Bond movie which was for me at that time absolutely enormous.
- Izabella Scorupco

It is an absolutely unique success of the church community
to have introduced such an epoch-making change,
in just a few years, without having a serious division.
- Hans Kung

I am being accused of all this plastic surgery,
which is absolutely not true.
- Nicolette Sheridan


Thank you for visiting: Funny Absolutely Quotes - Funny Quotes about Absolutely.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Sign-up for your free subscription to my Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote email.

Your E-Mail Address:
Your Name:

To confirm your subscription, you must click on a link in the email being sent to you.

Each email contains an unsubscribe link. We will NEVER sell, rent, loan, or abuse your email address in ANY way.


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.