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Your friend is the man who knows all about you,
by Elbert Hubbard

Your friend is the man who knows all about you,
and still likes you.
- Elbert Hubbard

Genius may have its limitations,
but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
- Elbert Hubbard

Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard

A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard


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The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.
- Elbert Hubbard

Life is just one damned thing after another.
- Elbert Hubbard (Philistine - A Periodical of Protest, 1896)

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard


 

A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard

One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men.
No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.
- Elbert Hubbard

Life in abundance comes only through great love.
- Elbert Hubbard

Our desires always disappoint us;
for though we meet with something that gives us satisfaction,
yet it never thoroughly answers our expectation.
- Elbert Hubbard

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.
- Elbert Hubbard

Dignity is a mask we wear to hide our ignorance.
- Elbert Hubbard

Friendship, like credit, is highest when it is not used.
- Elbert Hubbard

The sculptor produces the beautiful statue
by chipping away such parts of the marble block as are not needed -
it is a process of elimination.
- Elbert Hubbard

If you have health, you probably will be happy,
and if you have health and happiness,
you have all the wealth you need, even if it is not all you want.
- Elbert Hubbard

A little more persistence,
a little more effort, and
what seemed hopeless failure
may turn to glorious success.
- Elbert Hubbard

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

Always forgive your enemies -
nothing annoys them so much.
- Oscar Wilde

Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West

Crazy is walking down the street
with half a cantaloupe on your head,
muttering; "I'm a hamster, I'm a hamster."
- the movie Spy Hard (1996)

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes
in the hope of pulling out an eel.
- Leonardo da Vinci

There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
- Albert Einstein

Fasten your safety belts, clench your buttocks!
It's going be a bumpy ride!
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Trust your own instinct.
Your mistakes might as well be your own,
instead of someone else's.
- Billy Wilder

Vengeance: "It's your fault; you must pay; you must bleed."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Powerful Dreams Inspire Powerful Action.
When you can taste, smell, and touch your dreams,
you can enroll the world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
- Benjamin Franklin

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.
- Audrey Hepburn

Until you've lost your reputation,
you never realize what a burden it was.
- Margaret Mitchell

Life's a bitch... and then you change your attitude.
- Jennifer Unlimited

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright

Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Heaven must be an awfully dull place
if your best friends end up elsewhere.
- Anonymous

Just remember, after they foreclose on your mortgage,
you get a lot more sunshine in your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.
- Babe Ruth

You can safely assume that you've
created God in your own image
when it turns out that God hates
all the same people you do.
- Anne Lamott

The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde

The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Let your sympathies and your compassion
be always with the under dog in the fight -
this is magnanimity;
but bet on the other one - this is business.
- Mark Twain

You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A wedding is just like a funeral
except that you get to smell your own flowers.
- Grace Hansen

As the evening beckons with the promise of tomorrow...
may your gratitude rise up and with strength answer, "yes."
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Why wait until you're dead,
when you can create your own Hell right here and now.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love is loving what your lover loves.
- Anonymous

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it
seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour
and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

Don't die with your music still inside you.
Listen to your intuitive inner voice
and find what passion stirs your soul.
- Wayne Dyer

You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal

Never try to teach a pig to sing.
It wastes your time, and it annoys the pig.
- Mark Twain

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

God Loves an Open Mind, Clean Hands, and a Loving Heart.
So does Your Mother.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To go against the dominant thinking of your friends,
of most of the people you see every day,
is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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