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If you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
- Erica Jong
We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong
He who can take advice is sometimes superior
to him who can give it.
- Erica Jong
Gossip is the opiate of the oppressed.
- Erica Jong
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Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong 
Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
- Erica Jong
Take your life in your own hands, and what happens?
A terrible thing: no one to blame.
- Erica Jong
I have accepted fear as a part of life -
specifically the fear of change...
I have gone ahead despite the pounding
in the heart that says: turn back.
- Erica Jong
Solitude is considered un-American.
- Erica Jong
Driving me away is easier than saying goodbye.
- Erica Jong
Hate generalizes; love is particular.
- Erica Jong
Betrayal betrays the betrayer.
- Erica Jong
The trouble is,
if you don't risk anything,
you risk even more.
- Erica Jong
Love is serene and calm
- Erica Jong
Men have always detested women's gossip
because they suspect the truth:
their measurements are being taken and compared.
- Erica Jong
My reaction to porno films is as follows; After the first ten minutes,
I want to go home and screw; After the first twenty minutes,
I never want to screw again as long as I live
- Erica Jong
Friends love misery, in fact.
Sometimes, especially if we are too lucky
or too successful or too pretty,
our misery is the only thing that endears us to our friends.
- Erica Jong
No one ever found wisdom without also being a fool.
Writers, alas, have to be fools in public,
while the rest of the human race can cover its tracks.
- Erica Jong
Love gives without taking
- Erica Jong
The trick is not how much pain you feel -
but how much joy you feel
- Erica Jong
The best slave does not need to be beaten. She beats herself.
- Erica Jong
Because I loved myself, I was loved.
- Erica Jong
In a bad marriage, friends are the invisible glue.
If we have enough friends, we may go on for years,
intending to leave, talking about leaving -
instead of actually getting up and leaving.
- Erica Jong
If sex and creativity are often
seen by dictators as subversive activities,
it's because they lead to the knowledge
that you own your own body
(and with it your own voice), and that's
the most revolutionary insight of all.
- Erica Jong
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories
You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton
There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill
Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death
Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
Always remember the three magic words: You're right dear.
- Anonymous
You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors
Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous
The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
You have to learn to push the guilt
under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- the Woody Allen movie Match Point
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra
Thank you for visiting: If you don't risk anything, you risk even more. ... by Erica Jong.
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.