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If you don't know where you're going,
by Lewis Carroll

If you don't know where you're going,
any road will take you there.
- Lewis Carroll
(Alice in Wonderland)

"The time has come," the walrus said, "to talk of many things:
of shoes and ships - and sealing wax - of cabbages and kings."
- Lewis Carroll

Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll

"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone,
"it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less."
- Lewis Carroll


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His answer trickled through my head like water through a sieve.
- Lewis Carroll

Why, sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll

There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll


 

I can't go back to yesterday -
because I was a different person then.
- Lewis Carroll

Sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll

Which form of proverb do you prefer
Better late than never, or Better never than late?
- Lewis Carroll

Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle.
- Lewis Carroll

She generally gave herself very good advice,
(though she very seldom followed it).
- Lewis Carroll

Contrariwise, if it was so, it might be;
and if it were so, it would be;
but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic.
- Lewis Carroll

Take care of the sense
and the sounds will take care of themselves.
- Lewis Carroll

Twinkle, twinkle little bat
How I wonder what you're at!
Up above the world you fly,
Like a tea-tray in the sky.
- Lewis Carroll

"But I don't want to go among mad people," said Alice.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here."
- Lewis Carroll

There comes a pause, for human strength will not endure
to dance without cessation;
and everyone must reach the point at length of absolute prostration.
- Lewis Carroll

Oh, 'tis love, 'tis love that makes the world go round.
- Lewis Carroll

Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.
- Lewis Carroll

One of the secrets of life is that
all that is really worth the doing
is what we do for others.
- Lewis Carroll

"Begin at the beginning," the King said, very gravely,
"and go on till you come to the end: then stop."
- Lewis Carroll

While the laughter of joy is in
full harmony with our deeper life,
the laughter of amusement
should be kept apart from it.
The danger is too great of thus learning
to look at solemn things in a spirit of mockery,
and to seek in them opportunities for exercising wit.
- Lewis Carroll

One day Alice came to a fork in the road
and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree.
"Which road do I take?" she asked.
His responses was a question: "Where do you want to go?"
"I don't know," Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."
- Lewis Carroll

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill

If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories

Be careful about reading health books.
You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain

Of all the things that could frighten you,
you worry about my driving?
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer

You have to learn to push the guilt
under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- the Woody Allen movie Match Point

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

Where did you park the invisible car?
- the movie Megamind (2010)

I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman

Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
- Tom Lehrer

When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)

You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly!
- the movie Shrek (2001)

The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler

Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous

Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous

You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)

You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors

If love is the answer,
could you please rephrase the question.
- Lily Tomlin

When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death

Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks

There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!

He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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