Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z


Get a Humorous, Yet Insightful, Quote of the Day each day by email.
Follow funny-quotes-life.com by Email:


If you can, help others;
by Dalai Lama

If you can, help others;
if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

The purpose of our lives is to be happy.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama PHOTO

Happiness is not something ready made.
It comes from your own actions.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

The more we care for the happiness of others,
the greater is our own sense of well-being.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


The roots of all goodness lie
in the soil of appreciation for goodness.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Love is the absence of judgment.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

All major religious traditions
carry basically the same message,
that is love, compassion and forgiveness.
The important thing is they should
be part of our daily lives.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama


 

We can live without religion and meditation,
but we cannot survive without human affection.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

If you have a particular faith or religion,
that is good. But you can survive without it.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

In the practice of tolerance,
one's enemy is the best teacher.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Whether one believes in a religion or not,
and whether one believes in rebirth or not,
there isn't anyone who doesn't
appreciate kindness and compassion.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Not getting what you want
is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
- Dalai Lama

With realization of one's own potential and
self-confidence in one's ability,
one can build a better world.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

There is no need for temples,
no need for complicated philosophies.
My brain and my heart are my temples;
my philosophy is kindness.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Where ignorance is our master,
there is no possibility of real peace.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Be gentle with the earth.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Be kind whenever possible; and it is always possible.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Don't let a little dispute injure a great relationship.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Through violence, you may 'solve' one problem,
but you sow the seeds for another.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Our prime purpose in this life is to help others.
And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Sleep is the best meditation.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries.
Without them humanity cannot survive.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Sometimes one creates a dynamic impression
by saying something,
and sometimes one creates as significant
an impression by remaining silent.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Remember that not getting what you want
is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Spend some time alone every day.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

The key to happiness is inner peace.
The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions
such as anger, attachment, fear and suspicion,
while love and compassion and a sense of universal responsibility
are the sources of peace and happiness.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

I find hope in the darkest of days,
and focus in the brightest.
I do not judge the universe.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.
If you want to be happy, practice compassion.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

We can never obtain peace in the outer world
until we make peace with ourselves.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

The ultimate authority must always rest
with the individual's own reason and critical analysis.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

If you wish to experience peace,
provide peace for another.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Old friends pass away, new friends appear.
It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives.
The important thing is to make it meaningful:
a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

It is necessary to help others,
not only in our prayers,
but in our daily lives.
If we find we cannot help others,
the least we can do is to desist from harming them.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

This is my simple religion.
There is no need for temples;
no need for complicated philosophy.
Our own brain, our own heart is our temple;
the philosophy is kindness.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

It is very important to generate a good attitude,
a good heart, as much as possible.
From this, happiness in both the short term and the long term
for both yourself and others will come.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Today, more than ever before, life must be characterized
by a sense of Universal responsibility,
not only nation to nation and human to human,
but also human to other forms of life.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain

Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)

Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler

Of all the things that could frighten you,
you worry about my driving?
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)

New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter

When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

Where did you park the invisible car?
- the movie Megamind (2010)

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)

Always remember the three magic words: You're right dear.
- Anonymous


Thank you for visiting: If you can, help others; by Dalai Lama.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.